Really need an opinion

[dlouis688]

I just found this forum and it looks great. Hopefully I can get some help..here's the deal:

I've been with my girlfriend for around 4 years now. We started dating right after we graduated high school and we just graduated college. To keep the story short, we both went to the same university but I went home across the country during summers and I'm home now since I have graduated. She is in grad school and hoping to move after she finishes her 2 years.

Two summers ago, my girlfriend and I went through a rough patch in our relationship. She worked at a summer camp and towards the end of the summer, slowly fell for a guy. She of course denied this and I started to go crazy. She was spending immense amounts of time with this, during camp and almost every day after camp. I knew something was going on but when you live across the country, it's hard to verify this information. Thinking that it was just a side effect of a long distance relationship I was really excited to fly back out, begin school, and have everything go back to normal. Unfortunately when I flew out, my suspicions were confirmed and things were not the same between us. See didn't want to kiss me, cuddle...the normal things a relationship of 2 years would imply. I was miserable and broke it off. About a month later, we were back together. She PROMISED me nothing had happened between them. I specifically told her that I would not get back with her if I found out that they had kissed, hooked up in any way, and of course had sex.

Last night, I find out that they held hands and kissed (she says for 0.5 seconds...not sure if I believe that). The problem is.. we weren't together. She says that that kiss made her realize she truly loved me yada yada. I don't really buy that 100% because before we got back together, I saw a text where he told her he couldn't wait to hang out with her 24 hours a day during the next break and I'm pretty sure she agreed. (she knows i saw that).

We've had an unbelievably good 2 years after we got back together but knowing this information obviously hurts more than I've imagined. She's promised me she's a changed person after this event and has never ever cheated on me before or after this happened. I know I have a right to be upset because she lied many times about it but what do you guys think I should do? I obviously love her but this is hitting me hard? The problem was we weren't technically together so the kiss wasn't cheating but I felt like I was emotionally cheated on the whole summer...and now with the holding hands thing I definitely felt like I was cheated on. I know she'd slaughter me if she saw me holding a co-workers hand. PLEASE HELP MEEEEE

By the way, we are both 22 years old, no kids, not married. (just in case that's necessary info).

[vashti]

what do you consider your options to be?

[dlouis688]

I think writing all that out helped me vent and think things through. I texted her telling everything will be ok and I love her and she was very relieved

[Raven_Skye]

Wait, this happened two years ago? I mean.. I know you only foiund out about this recently then, but seriously, you'd even think to break off a relationship that's been great for two years after just for this? That'd be ridiculous. Just my two cents here, but honestly, you'll find a place for this info, so yeah you did good telling her it'd be ok.