Kind of long and about my father.

[lovefool87]

Hey everyone, this is kind of long, but I would appreciate any insight THANKS!

When I was 13, my parents divorced and my dad got remarried to a crazy woman and she brought her two kids along as well. I had chosen to live with my mom and so my dad "replaced" me with these new people, choosing to not have any part in my life. Since I am 23 now, It has been 10 years and all this time I have tried to have a good relationship with my dad, but he doesn't reciprocate.

Recently, another family fall-out has occurred because of his "replacement" wife and daughter and we have not spoken in over 6 weeks. Since my parents divorced, my Grandfather on my mom's side stepped in for a while until my mom met my stepdad. I decided that since I wasn't technically raised by my father, I want to change my last name to my mother's maiden name. I know I am 23 and one day I will change my name when i get married but it makes me mad every time I sign my name or I have to fill out paperwork. All I can think about is how I carry this strangers last name around with me! When word got back to my dad and his crazy new family, of course they acted like drama queens and decided to use my poor brother as a messenger to let me know how they felt.

Well, since you know all of this, yesterday I got a missed call from my dad on my cellphone. Unfortunately I have a cold and I was asleep so I didn't hear it until I got up a couple of hours later. I tried returning his call to his cellphone twice, his house phone once, and today I called his office and no response. Now I am mad because I feel like he called me on purpose just to show that he is ignoring me.

The only reason my attempts to have a relationship with my father haven't worked out is because he is so immature about EVERYTHING, which is why my parents marriage ended in the first place. NOT ONCE has my dad ever acted like the ADULT in our relationships. I don't want to sound rude but I strongly dislike my father. I want to change my last name, and I have a dad now, he is my stepdad and ever since he has come into my life, things have felt more complete.

I don't want to cut my birth father out of my life, but he is not giving me any reason to keep him around either. These past 6 weeks of me not talking to him have been the most productive weeks of my life.

Any advice is welcome and thanks for your time!

[Agape]

you're a grown woman, you're 23 years old . . . you can think for yourself and make you own choices.

other than your last line, your last paragraph is questioning the situation, "I don't want to cut him out, but he doesn't do anything" . . .and then your 2nd last paragraph just shows what your dad is really like? (Your bio dad doesn't seem like much of a dad, but you carry his name)

I'd suggest you follow through and change it, your name is part of your identity.