What does it all mean?

[MeLewis]

Very long story short:
After several months working with this girl, I started developing feelings for her. During my breaks, I would end up in her department talking with her. And during my lunch breaks I end up talking to her some more.

I can't read minds, so I don't know if I am talking to her too much because she is too nice to just walk away. She doesn't seem to not enjoy me presence, but if it were up to her, she would not seek me out to talk to me.

I am very confused with all of the signals I am getting from her. It was amazing how fast I fell for her. The first time I talked to her I felt this connection.

I asked her if I was talking to her too much, but she said that she didn't mind listening for a change.

The manager of my department, with whom I was good friends with, figured out that I had feelings for her. He himself just broke up with his girlfriend of 2 years two days before he noticed I like her. The rest of that day, he made me work in the back room while he had her working up in front with him.

Near the end of my shift, he calls me up front to get a call. When I get up to the front, he drops off the keys to the department and snickers at me. I look at him confused while he is leaving, only to see that he is taking her to the *KFC* in the parking lot of the store we work at.
~First of all, a KFC? Someone like her deserves way more.
~Second of all, he is a Manager in the store, which is ILLEGAL for him to date associates.
~Third, she didn't even know it was a date, and he took advantage of her.
~Fourthly, the Manager is a good friend of mine, and I do not wish to turn him in (Don't tell me to).

He was clocked out, but she was only on her lunch break. He hung out at the store for the rest of the night, following her around. I finally gave him 5 dollars to rent a video game to make him leave.

I do not believe that I am making my feelings for her apparent except for the fact that I am talking to her a lot.

I started talking to her about myself, and told her that I have a hard time trusting people (before the manager incident). I told her that I have a thing with germs and she responded, "So, you never share a meal or drink with anyone?". I told her I have a problem with going to other peoples houses unless it is my best friends house or my own families house, she responds, "What does that say about me?" Me: "I don't know you yet." ~smile~. I told her that I have a problem trusting people, her response, "That hurts."

I was happy to get to work on Wednesday because we were both scheduled to work in the same department for a while. While this time I told her that there was something about her that reassured me that I could trust her. She didn't say anything, and I don't believe I noticed any different because right after I told her, I went to go help a customer. The rest of our shift was a little weird, but my shift ended a couple hours before hers, but stupid me wanted to stay and hang out after I clocked out.

When I clocked out she asked if I was leaving, and when I told her that I was going to hang out in the store for a while, she said under her breathe, "Thank God." as I was walking away.

I was so close to ask her on a date, the perfect time even came up... No customers, nothing to do, just the two of us alone at her station. I just couldn't gather the courage to form the words, "I would like to thank you for listening to me by taking you out to dinner after your shift."

I can usually tell if someone likes me, and I felt a little something between us while we talked.

Please, no one ask me if she laughs at my jokes, even if they aren't funny because everyone at work laughs at my jokes.

I don't know how to read body language, but the only thing I can see is that she gives me a big smile when she sees me.

Please, if anyone could help me, it would be most appreciated. I have very strong feelings for her, but I am afraid to make the first move. She is the smartest, funniest, most beautiful girl I have ever known. She is even a gamer.

[MerryH]

I'm sorry, I have to rag on you a little bit.

The rage at your manager made me chuckle. You think it's illegal for him to take her to KFC for lunch and that this was taking advantage of her somehow. And stop telling people that you have a thing about germs. Ok, done.

So...what do you need help with? Do you just want encouragement to ask her out? Fine, sack up and make these words come out of your mouth next time you see her: "I would like to thank you for listening to me by taking you out to dinner after your shift." Or something else that sounds better. You can do it! You're a stallion!

[Poetic_Partner]

Possibly, she just sees you as a friendly face. That's not bad at all and speaks well of you.

Possibly, she really wants to get together and is just waiting for you to ask.

Probably, she's in between the two. Things are not black and white IRL. She likely thinks something like "Oh, I don't know. It'd be nice to go to dinner and get to know him a bit better, but he's giving me mixed signals [AND YOU ARE]. Oh well, there's other fish in the sea."

Do your lunches jive? If so, then ask her out to a fast-food joint someplace close. Your insistence that KFC is not classy enough is problematic - given your fear of germs I'd suspect you're a bit of an obsessive. If so, you need to get over everything being perfect. You will never find the perfect time to ask, never wear the perfect clothes on a date, and the table at the restaurant will always be sticky. Which is more important - waiting for the perfect moment or a lifetime of "close enough"? KFC, sure enough, is not classy (I agree), but hey - it worked for him. He got to spend some time with her.

Try this - "Would you like to have lunch together? My treat." If she agrees, add: "Anyplace in particular you'd like to go - if not, **** would be good."

If she goes out to lunch with you, that's a great time to ask for a date. "Thanks for letting me take you out to lunch. I'd love to get together for a dinner or gaming date sometime."

If she can't go out to lunch, ask "Then how about a dinner date?"

If she could go out to lunch but declines, then drop the whole dating thing and just be happy such an amazing woman is your friend.

-PP

[MeLewis]

Thanks Poetic_Partner, their is some truth in your words. I know I will never get anywhere in like being shy and scared. I do very much value my friendship with her and would hate to mess everything up. As a matter of fact, today we share the same lunch break, so I'll give your idea a try.

I am quite obsessive, and that is not something that I could get over. You are not the first person to tell me to get over my obsessive personality. It's not as easy as that.

I am not quite skilled in this area of life, so if you could point out where I am sending mixed signals, I would appreciate it.

To, MerryH. It IS illegal for anyone who has any managerial powers take out an associate. It's in our handbook, it's in the break room, it's on our notebooks. She wasn't calling it a date, but HE was. This could result in him getting fired, but he really needs this job.

Time for me to critique you. The rage at me for raging at my manager made me chuckle. It is my own business that I tell people about me. I could have told her anything, and quite frankly, It's is a miracle that I can even talk to her. If I want to tell her that I have a problem with germs, I could tell her that I would never hold her hand or hug her, but I didn't tell her that because I would hold HER hand and hug HER.

[MeLewis]

Well, I went for it today. I asked if she wanted to do something with me sometime.

Even though she said yes, it wasn't the response I was expecting. It seemed like she was taking pity on my, and just said yes.

No plans were made, she just told me that she would go out with me.

[MerryH]

You act like he's committing a felony for going out to lunch with her. If you're not going to report him, then it's pretty irrelevant. And he's not taking advantage of her when she agrees to go. Then you get mad because he stays after his shift and follows her around, but that's exactly what you do. You're just pissed that he's encroaching on "your" girl.

It is my own business that I tell people about me. I could have told her anything, and quite frankly, It's is a miracle that I can even talk to her. If I want to tell her that I have a problem with germs, I could tell her that I would never hold her hand or hug her, but I didn't tell her that because I would hold HER hand and hug HER.

I could have explained that better. Everyone has weird quirks or phobias. It's not impressive, it doesn't make you more interesting or unique, and it has the potential to scare people off. This germ thing makes you sound like you think people are gross or something. Telling a girl this as a way to hit on her (almost like "I don't like touching people but I'll touch youuuuu") is not going to get you anywhere. You don't want to make people think you're repulsed by them. Try to come off as well-adjusted and normal at first. You can let loose your bevy of weird stuff after you've dated a bit.

[Only-virgins]

More like a very short story long.

[Agape]

Dude lighten up . . . dates are supposed to be mutually enjoyable activities . . .not full of negativity and 'drama'

Rule #1, be comfortable. . . make yourself feel at ease and enjoy your time - hopefully, both of you will open up

[MeLewis]

That rule would be applicable if she meant it.

She sent one of her friends to go to the shop (second job) and tell me that she isn't interested in dating me.

I told her when I asked her out that she did not have to do anything with me, she could tell me, and i could get over it.

I have been turned down before, and it has been to my face every time. I would have been ok with her decision if she would have told me herself, but having a friend tell me is low.

I know I shouldn't judge because I don't know her side of the story, I don't know her that well but it still feels like she took out my heart and stomped on it for not telling me herself.