ex always there

[serphy]

i have been in a realationship with my girlfriend now for little over 2 months now the problem is that her ex who she was with for 9 months always seems to want to come around not that i mind them being friends but sometimes it can be a little over the top to the point where he is there every day. for the past 2 months he has been emailing her txtin her always wanting her to meet him she tries to say no an she does but he will not take the hint he goes as far as making her feel guilty for hurting him when they were together or threating to kill himself, so she feels she has to go out and talk to him, everytime she goes out to talk to him after every time of making her feel guitly and e.t.c he does the same old sob stories to try an get her back in which makes her feel guilty and on few occasions it has forced her to split from me but i was not willing to give up on her so i fought back in which worked we are together and happy but we do fall out over the same subject as now which i said at the start he is always wanting to come round giving us no space and always wanting to take her out ALWAYS!!!! i trust an believe her as i love her but as the current situation if he doesnt get to see her for 1 day he throws one and it is beggining to get on my nerves. if that not the problem my girlfriend will get pressure from her family trying to push her to decision they want and in going against what her family wants they fall out with her. i love and cherish my girlfriend and will stand by her no matter what......

[returnofthezro]

while i cant be sure, this might be happening both ways, is she leading him on at all? if she is, then she is equally to blame - maybe she is keeping him on the sideline for the future, maybe she likes the attention, you need to tell her straight that she needs to leave this fudge packer alone.

if she is truly trying to get rid of him, then she has to cut all contact regardless of the situation, threats of suicide have to be ignored, its not her problem anymore - if he is such a bitch, she could give him the number of a psychiatrist, if it comes down to it, i see no issue in you having a bit of a word to him and combined with a punch or two (if needed), he should get the point

first thing though, you need to make it abundantly clear to her, that you will not accept this (if you havent already)

[VincenzoG91]

Your girlfriend is either naive or deeply cynical to let her ex hang out with her all the time. If she won't set some boundaries, then you need to do it. If she won't respect your needs, then she isn't ready for a relationship right now.

[green]

If she really wanted no contact with him she would be assertive and cut him off for good. Shes not that in to you and is keeping her options open. If she really cared anything about you she wouldnt stand by and let you be hurt this way. The love you have for her comes at a painful price.

[NewStart]

It sounds like she needs to work on her boundaries. It is not her job to solve her ex's psychological problems. Since you cannot control his actions (nor hers, I might add), you should sit down and give her an ultimatum: "Stop seeing this guy more than once a week, or this relationship has no chance of succeeding." You might even consider going to relationship counseling, so you can bring this issue up with a third party (which will hopefully show her that what she's doing is not fair to you, and is only enabling the ex to keep on acting like a baby).