Cheating girlfriend - second chance

[TomerT]

Is there anything she can do or say to make you to truly forgive and give her a second chance ?
If so, what it should be ?

[Zane777]

I think it really revolves around the situation and the girlfriend. I know some people believe that "once a cheater, always a cheater". But only you can know you're girlfriend well enough to know if she really regrets what she did. If she really does, and she's really sorry, she may be willing to put more effort into the relationship than ever before. She may have realized what she almost gave up.

That being said, she doesn't deserve a second chance. A second chance is you making that decision to give it to her. Don't get mad if you give her a second chance and she ends up cheating again. It's a choice you really have to weight the pros and cons on. Depending on how much time you've invested in this relationship.

[returnofthezro]

like the above poster said, this would depend on you, personally i am a firm believer in no second chances - my opinion is that history is the best indication of the future, you have to decide for yourself and then live with the consequences , i would think only a doormat or a spineless person would take someone back who cheated

[Incognito]

In most cases I wouldn't take someone who cheated back. However if a woman cheated and left herself I can at least say that she thought she was making a decision. If she wanted me back though, she'd have to prove that I am the only one for her and thoroughly explain why she left and why she wants to come back. My decision would be based on the specific woman and the circumstances. If I caught a woman cheating on me and dumped her there would be no coming back, ever.

[VincenzoG91]

TomerT, if I remember correctly, your girlfriend is pregnant by the guy that she cheated with. If that's true, then it would take an extraordinary act of forgiveness to get back together with her. Because you would be facing a daily reminder of her cheating in the form of a child. I couldn't do it, just no way in hell.

[Incognito]

F*ck that shit! Are you serious? She's pregnant with the baby of the man she cheated with? Where the f*ck is he? Tell her to go live with her f*cking mother and then get child support. If you haven't resumed the relationship don't. If you have I seriously question your self esteem. Every look at that swollen stomach would be like a huge middle finger to your manhood. Once that kid is born it will be the same thing.

[Agape]

Sorry, but with serious things like cheating or pregnancy I don't think I could give a second chance . . . I might forgive her but she won't be my girlfriend anymore.

I'd have to weight in all 3 things, the person, the act (having sex behind my back), and the consequences (disrespecting me, breaking our trust) . . . .only the person can be the redeeming factor, but why would she cheat?

Again, I can't allow a second chance.

[TomerT]

F*ck that shit! Are you serious? She's pregnant with the baby of the man she cheated with? Where the f*ck is he? Tell her to go live with her f*cking mother and then get child support. If you haven't resumed the relationship don't. If you have I seriously question your self esteem. Every look at that swollen stomach would be like a huge middle finger to your manhood. Once that kid is born it will be the same thing.

I didn't talk with her for more than 3 weeks now (total NC), she called several times but I didn't answer. Once we talked, she mentioned she may do an abortion...
I'm not going to call her or give her any sign of life from my side (btw, she had birthday few days ago and I completely ignored it),
but I will not be surprised if one day (soon) she will appear in front of my door (it happened before)...and I want to be prepared...
We all do the mistakes....I suppose she is also in a lot of emotional pain right now...
Reading all this posts here, I see that no one "immune" against infidelity...it happened even to the most happily married couples after many years...
I thought what happened to me (her) now, may be as a "vaccine" in order it will not happen again.
Usually when a person get burn, he usually try to avoid same mistake....
Again, all this theory built on the basic assumption that she is "burned", ashamed, deeply regret and therefore will not do the same in the future.

[TomerT]

If she wanted me back though, she'd have to prove that I am the only one for her and thoroughly explain why she left and why she wants to come back.

Totally agree. what kind of "prove" will suffice to you ? Obviously, only words probably will not do it.
So my question is what does she need to do ? jump from 100 floor in order to prove her love ?

[doppelgaenger]

Didn't I say no?

[TomerT]

Yes, you did I still living in some "Hollywood movie" with happy end.
But every day returning me back to the rough reality..

[Sonrisa]

it's more like a mexican soap opera

[TomerT]

The problem with those operas than they never end

[Sonrisa]

The problem with those operas than they never end

WTF!!!! you are a cheburashka!!!!

[Incognito]

Reading all this posts here, I see that no one "immune" against infidelity...it happened even to the most happily married couples after many years...
I thought what happened to me (her) now, may be as a "vaccine" in order it will not happen again.

Well infidelity isn't a disease that you catch unexpectedly, its a choice that someone decides to go through with or not. Since this was a decision and not a communicable illness there is no "vaccine". Further, if she's willing to simply throw a life away because it is inconvenient (or worse yet, simply to get back with you) it really speaks to what type of a horrible person she really is.

Totally agree. what kind of "prove" will suffice to you ? Obviously, only words probably will not do it.
So my question is what does she need to do ? jump from 100 floor in order to prove her love ?

What she needs to do would depend on who she was, what the circumstances were, and how I felt after the situation. Jumping from a building or anything else that could cause harm is obviously absurd.