She isn't ready yet...

[Soop]

Hi everyone, I'm new here and well I'm in dire need of some good advice and/or opinions :-)


Ok so this is about a girl I'm in love with. She lives in my street (which is really convenient), she's 20 years old (I'm 21) and I've known her since I was 16 years old.

It's perhaps also good to know that back when we were 16 we had this "thing" going on, we once kissed and she had a crush on me, but I told her back then that I wasn't up for a relationship. After that we lost touch for a few years up untill now.

I've been seeing her for the last two months alot and we've been getting along perfectly, I started to fall in love with her and I was positive she liked me too. So I decided to invite her over for a movie in my room. While we were watching on my bed, I made my move and kissed her. She kissed me back and it resulted in 2+ hours of make out.

She also told me she loved me and felt really good being with me. She went back home and I was pretty satisfied with how things went. I text her the next day asking her how she saw things between us now. She replied that she loved me but that we had to talk about it in person.
I agree and I go over to her place the next evening. There she explains me that in fact she isn't ready for a relationship because she is way to confused and is not able to give her full 100 % in this relationship. She said it had nothing to do with me, because if she wanted a boyfriend it would've been me.. soo things got really awkward and I got up to leave, she starts crying and hugging me.. but still I leave... I didn't know what to think.

We havn't seen eachother since then, I told her that perhaps it would be best for us to lose touch again , because I really can't stand being "just" friends with her and pretend that one evening never happend.. In the end she agreed and well now we have no contact anymore..

It's been 5 days since I talked to her (msn/text/irl) and I miss her like hell, I still don't understand her reasoning.. she said she loved me but then again she didn't want anything with me.. I keep thinking about her.. Should I start talking to her again on msn?

I really don't know what to do..

Please help..

Thanks in advance

[IncognitoSir]

Sounds like "love" is being thrown around quite carelessly. I doubt very much that the two of you love each other. Anyways, sounds like there is something she's not telling you as for the reason she doesn't want to be with you. Maybe when you rejected her (years ago) you really hurt her and she's been holding on to it. Is she going off to school soon, are you going to school? Maybe there's another guy in the picture or she just got out of a relationship. You should of done a bit more investigating before you up and called it quits. Ask her why she cant be with you......cant understand why you didn't immediately ask that when she turned you down.

[Soop]

She is going to college, I have a job.

I did ask her the reason when she told me she isn't ready for a relationship..She said she isn't sure she wants a boyfriend right now and because of that she wouldn't be able to give her 100% for the relationship... She said she got out of a 2 year relationship (she's been single for one year now) and she had alot of trouble during that relationship.. I asked her if she still loved her ex, she almost laughed and said NO. She also clearly said that if she wanted a bf it would've been me..

So her REASON is that she isn't ready yet... but thats bullshit right? I've used that excuse myself to girls...

[Agape]

"I've been seeing her for the last two months alot and we've been getting along perfectly"

2 months . . . 20 year olds

Either way the fact of the matter is she isn't ready for a relationship . . .so you either wait for her, try to work things out, or leave and move on

[IncognitoSir]

She is going to college, I have a job.

I did ask her the reason when she told me she isn't ready for a relationship..She said she isn't sure she wants a boyfriend right now and because of that she wouldn't be able to give her 100% for the relationship... She said she got out of a 2 year relationship (she's been single for one year now) and she had alot of trouble during that relationship.. I asked her if she still loved her ex, she almost laughed and said NO. She also clearly said that if she wanted a bf it would've been me..

So her REASON is that she isn't ready yet... but thats bullshit right? I've used that excuse myself to girls...

Okay, the REASON is because she has relationship issues from her last relationship.....not because she isn't ready yet. That being said, you have no choice but to let her deal with her issues and keep it moving. IMO, don't dwell on her, you're young and so is she. At that age, life changes drastically in the blink of an eye and it's not worth you waiting on her. Not to mention she's in college.Believe it or not, she's probably doing you a favor by not bringing her past relationship experiences into a relationship with you, I know you think youre getting the raw end of the deal but you're not. Don't burn any bridges though, do keep in touch with her!