How to get out of the "friend" zone....if possible

[vashton]

hey ladies i'm new here and i have this question cause i fell like i screwed up and it's hitting me kinda hard. k, i met this girl about 5 years ago and i really liked her but then we lost touch completely. Earlier this year we somehow got back in touch (FB) and it brought back a bit of what i felt for her and i sensed she also felt a bit the same but at this point i was already in a relationship i don't think i handled it too well.

Basically i decided to focus on the girl i was already with and kept things restricted with the long lost girl "friend" tho i kinda liked her. Anyways long story short the girl i was with ended up not working out and i hate to sound like she's a rebound but one day i just got a bit tired with feeling trapped in the "friendship zone" with the long lost friend and took a week off from talking to her, even when she called or texted (probly a bad move...)

anyways after that i called her and felt i had to get it off my chest and just told her i really liked her (i know stupid way to show it) and i wanted to know if there a possibility we could be more than just friends. She was upfront about it and told me she's not ready for anything like that right now, and she didn't trust me with that title Sad ....as we kept talking she revealed she did at one point have "feelings" for me in that way but now she's not too sure,

anyways since then our conversation now is a bit awkward cause it's kind of a tough transition when we used to joke around as "friends" and now i'm trying to let her see a bit more of my serious side that i do like her and trying to gain her trust. I feel like i screwed up cause now our friendship feels a bit weird and she doesn't respond back to my call, texts etc.. the same way anymore. It's getting bad like a heartbreak minus the relationship.

NOTE: it's all long distance (NYC, CA) type. so maybe i should've waited when perhaps she moved out here before i told her, but at the same time i didn't want to stay in the friend zone too long and she would've been with someone by then.


WHAT SHOULD I DO, HOW WOULD YOU'VE HANDLED IT???

(sorry for being long, i had to get it all out. THANKS!!!

[blent]

I've often considered just letting it out... Sounds like she has power over you, now that she knows you like her she's going to think you're an easy ticket whenever she feels like it and she'll probably take advantage of it. You shouldn't have been so straight up... believe it or not you can't trust her either, you DON'T tell them you like them because the spark will tone down for them it's just the way it is. Girl want to be chased and want to chase a little too. It's all just a ridiculous game that you have to play, and neither side really enjoys doing it. You can either send her one last message, saying that you meant what you said and that she can trust you etc etc add more bs. OR you can just not call her or text again and HOPE that she will call you.

[Only-virgins]

I'm all up for letting your feelings go. Even if what bent says is true I don't care, I'm not playing little high school games. If she told you she isn't ready right now you should just be like "Ok fine see ya" and that is it. No reason to hang on women who want to play games or just don't know wtf they want.

[blent]

I'm all up for letting your feelings go. Even if what bent says is true I don't care, I'm not playing little high school games. If she told you she isn't ready right now you should just be like "Ok fine see ya" and that is it. No reason to hang on women who want to play games or just don't know wtf they want.

That's easier said than done. When you have feelings for someone you know it's difficult to just say "Ok fine see ya" .

[Only-virgins]

That's easier said than done. When you have feelings for someone you know it's difficult to just say "Ok fine see ya" .

She says she isn't ready to date. What are you going to accomplish by sticking around. She has your contact info and when she is ready tell her to call.

[Roymax]

I would have to agree with only-virgins here. If you keep pressuring her on the issue you could come across as an annoyance by further causing her to distance herself from you. In this case, I would only make a last good impression and leave it at that.