Guy friends behind his back..

[HEHEHE1234ME]

Me and my boyfriend have been together 2+ years. We are both from relationships where we were cheated on in the previous relationship before ours. He tends to get a nervous/jealous when a new guy comes into my life. Co-Workers, Friends, Etc...

Recently I met a guy. Hes nice and attractive. I'm not really interested tho.
Originally when i met him he was going to see if he could adjust my phone bill to be cheaper (he works at ATT) so we started texting about that. I didn't hide this from my boyfriend. My boyfriend was cool about it. But over time we started texting back and forth daily because he keeps offering me a job at his work. I went and applied. I currently work about 2 building away from him and we meet up and talk. Over the course of about a month.. "meeting up for hugs" has kinda become a flirty joke between us even tho I'm not interested..He might be..I am not sure

Recently my boyfriend is noticing something is up. He has been asking me if I still talk to him because he knows I work 2 buildings away from him. I mentioned I might apply at his work. I think that's what caught his attention. He keeps asking me if we ever meet up or text still. I keep lying to him and telling him I'm not even tho I have been for about a month.

Is it wrong for me to hide this from him because he is Jealous and might handle it poorly?

Is it wrong that "meeting up for hugs" has kinda become the thing we talk about and do even tho in my mind I am only really talking to him to try to get this job?

Is it wrong we send each other texts before our breaks like "Hey! wanna meet for a quick hug!?"..or once the guy wrote "I've got a craving for some hugz!! When you taking break?? *smiley* "...That's a brief example of what the texts have become over the past 2 weeks..the hugs joke is starting to become the spotlight of conversation.

Is it wrong the guy offers to come visit me on my break to talk for a few minutes and hug even tho its his day off?

Is it wrong that this guy might be interested in me (im not sure if he is) and even tho im not into him that way to continue talking to him behind my boyfriends back?

What should I do? I really do not feel like dealing with my boyfriend freaking out about this guy when its nothing to me. However I still I still feel bad tho..

[Cloud206]

"Is it wrong the guy offers to come visit me on my break to talk for a few minutes and hug even tho its his day off?

Is it wrong that this guy might be interested in me (im not sure if he is) and even tho im not into him that way to continue talking to him behind my boyfriends back?"

Yeah,if u let him build something on ilusions and you like it something is definitly wrong.It's your boyfriend or the rest of the guys that could be interested in you.Why would you meet someone for hugs?A friend is a friend but on what you are telling you are either interested but not ready to admit it or just to be apealing other men.Think carefully.

[curiouselephant]

there is no doubt in my mind that the guy 'friend' digs you and if you accept his job offer you will always have him around you. its up to you to decide whether you really like your boyfriend or not.

[HEHEHE1234ME]

Here is the thing. Shouldn't I be allowed to have guy friends? Live my life like anyone else? Plus..like I said. I have no interest in him. I trust myself not to take it any further. I'm only talking to him because I am trying to get a job at his work. My boyfriend tells me if i talk to other guys to just be honest. That I shouldn't hide them because It makes it look worse. That he might be jealous at first but he will eventually get over it. But I honestly don't think he will and I really don't feel like having him badger me over something so stupid. However I know lying is wrong.. Shouldn't he just trust me and not have to keep tabs on every little part of my life? Shouldn't I be allowed to have whatever friends I want and he should just KNOW I am not going to do anything to hurt him? Is it really wrong? I'm not going to do anything. However I KNOW If I told him I know hes going to ask me everyday whats going on with the guy...if i think hes attractive, what do we talk about, why do i keep talking to him if i have no interest, etc...It gets really annoying. Hes done this with other guys I've met in the past. I'm also annoyed he would even think I WOULD do anything. Isn't it wrong of him to keep asking about him? I know him..if I tell him he won't relax about it. But I really want this job..and so far my application is just in this waiting period because they aren't exactly hiring at the moment. I don't want to loose my IN to the job. The guy isn't the thing I'm interested in..it's the job.

I feel bad for lying to him. Not having a guy friend that is attractive but I'm not attracted to because I am trying to get a job at his work. yes if the situation was reversed I would most likely be upset. But I wouldn't know for sure unless that situation was a reality. Still... I'm not allowed to have friends of the opposite sex? Hugs are hugs..The guy is nice..he likes hugs..I dunno..I like hugs. Who doesn't like a good hug? it doesn't really feel wrong. People hug all the time right? Do you really think texting a few times a day and meeting up for a quick hug and to talk for a few minutes a day is cheating? I would LOVE another females opinion on this.

[wdlssm]

I don't think that there is anything wrong with having friends of the opposite gender. That being said, meeting up for hugs is crossing the line. Occasional hugging is fine, but meeting up for it is crossing the line in my opinion - especially when he comes on his day off to hug you and talk to you for only a few minutes.

It's pretty obvious the other guy at the potential job probably likes you, even from your own words.

I don't consider myself a particularly jealous guy but what you're doing would probably make me double think the relationship. Tread carefully.

[justcheckin]

who are you trying to kid here really?

Your bf might believe you are doing it for a job, but get real. If you wanted that job you could get it anyways. "meeting up for hugs" has become an excuse to just meet up.... and hug. It has nothing to do with a job. You just dont do that, and yes it is wrong.

You can have "guy" friends for sure. Dont get me wrong. But you think that meeting up with a guy that is 2 buildings away form you to "hug" means nothing you are crazy. what are you gonna do when you get the job? hug him every day because he got it for you? Come on get real. You need to open your eyes a little bit sorry. Obviously the guy thinks hes about to score with you if he lands you this job. You are smarter than that unless you kinda like this guy and you dont want to admit it to even us rando's.

[Agape]

"He tends to get a nervous/jealous when a new guy comes into my life. Co-Workers, Friends, Etc..."
"I keep lying to him and telling him I'm not even tho I have been for about a month."

--> Don't lie! . . . relationships are based on trust and respect, although your bf is insecure when it comes to platonic friendships that is no excuse for deceiving him.

-

"Over the course of about a month.. "meeting up for hugs" has kinda become a flirty joke between us even tho I'm not interested"

--> um, well this is kinda weird, or at least the way you put it. . . Not so sure about flirting with guys behind your bf's back but hugging other guys and having guy friends is totally okay

-

All in all, I'd say you and your bf need to work on trust, he needs to learn how to trust you and you need to quit the flirtatious games.

[all alone]

You can have guy friends, just quit being such a flirt and hiding it form your bf..

[nightmarexxx]

if i were you i would somehow try to make them meet each other,it can solve the problem

[VincenzoG91]

Your relationship with the phone guy is inappropriate. You want your phone bill adjusted, call customer service. You want a job, contact human resources. You want to hang out with a good-looking guy who is obviously interested in you as more than a friend, then break up with your boyfriend. You know that what you're doing is wrong, that's why you're sneaking around, feeling guilty and asking online strangers for reassurance. Try to stop thinking about just yourself for second, and imagine how your boyfriend (remember him?) would feel if he walked in on one of these hugs. Both of you were cheated on in prior relationships, so you of all people should have some sensitivity for how this would hurt him.

[doppelgaenger]

Lol, meet up for "hugs"? Are you shitting me? If I was your BF, I would laugh at you and then break up with you, just for being that stupid.

[alwaystryin]

Okay, I'm a female and yeah, the hug thing is definitely crossing the line. But as far as all of your questions regarding what is "wrong", the wrongest thing here is that you and your boyfriend have actually had communication in which you both expressed your feelings about this exact situation. And now you're doing exactly what you know would hurt him. Wrong? I think it is if you consider yourself his girlfriend. And back to the hugs thing. Hugs? Hugging someone for a job? Seriously?? Your boyfriend has every right to be worried, and if it was "nothing" to you it wouldn't be eating at you enough to post. You feel guilty because you like hugs from an attractive man you say you're not attracted to. It's kind of ridiculous really.. Time to re-evaluate whether or not you really want to be with your boyfriend.

[Only-virgins]

Your relationship with the phone guy is inappropriate. You want your phone bill adjusted, call customer service. You want a job, contact human resources. You want to hang out with a good-looking guy who is obviously interested in you as more than a friend, then break up with your boyfriend. You know that what you're doing is wrong, that's why you're sneaking around, feeling guilty and asking online strangers for reassurance. Try to stop thinking about just yourself for second, and imagine how your boyfriend (remember him?) would feel if he walked in on one of these hugs. Both of you were cheated on in prior relationships, so you of all people should have some sensitivity for how this would hurt him.

Yea Vince here said it best.

[poppdoctor]

Your relationship with the phone guy is inappropriate. You want your phone bill adjusted, call customer service. You want a job, contact human resources. You want to hang out with a good-looking guy who is obviously interested in you as more than a friend, then break up with your boyfriend. You know that what you're doing is wrong, that's why you're sneaking around, feeling guilty and asking online strangers for reassurance. Try to stop thinking about just yourself for second, and imagine how your boyfriend (remember him?) would feel if he walked in on one of these hugs. Both of you were cheated on in prior relationships, so you of all people should have some sensitivity for how this would hurt him.

100% agree with this.

[competitive2]

Way over the line. Completely inappropriate behavior on your part, thread starter.