Thoughts on commitment have changed, not sure how to approach with partner

[GwenJade]

Hello!

Here's the deal.

I've just turned 20, and for the last 12 years of my life, have been very against procreation (when I was 8 I saw the video of how I was born). I have always been vocal and adamant that I do not want to get married, and that I do not want children, and that I want to be a very independent, strong, career driven woman. Sexy at thirty, kind of thing.

Little over year ago, I met my current partner, and we have had a relatively steady relationship. There have been problems, just like any relationship, but because we are self-assured people, we are ultimately a strong couple. I have never been a person to openly express my feelings for those who are really close to me, but I am not ashamed to admit to anyone how much I love my man.

Now, I have one year left of my bachelor, and a diploma that I am currently studying, and then at least one more year of study for a teaching qualification. I'm allowing at least three years of full time study left, which I am perfectly fine with. I then wish to continue study for what I wish to specialise in part time while teaching.

My partner currently works full time, is doing a bachelor one unit at a time through online education, and really doesn't have any plans for his future. He currently doesn't pay for anything, whereas I have lived out of home since I was 17. He is not a man who is prepared to focus on the future in any respect, and in the past that has worked for us, as we are both the same age, and I am driven enough in my academic aims to not usually worry about the future of an "us".

In the last few months, a lot of my friends, most who are slightly older than me, have been falling pregnant, getting engaged, giving birth, having weddings, moving in with their partner, etc.

Normally, that wouldn't effect me, but I now find myself wondering where my relationship is going. I want to move, and I don't know if my partner is okay with that. I want do so many things in my life that I'm not sure he wants too, as in the past neither of us saw the point in conversing.

I find myself wanting children, not in the near future, but at some point in the next five or so years, and I would actually like a small, non-traditional wedding in that time. I want to move in with him when my lease is up, in the middle of next year, not only for us, but for my sister as well, who is older and needs her own space. I want to have the dream of a loving husband, and a few children, which I never wanted before. Yet, I still strongly want to be known for my academic achievements, and want to be known in my area of choice.

I want both, and feel I should be entitled to try to have both of these in my life.

My issue is, I do not know the right way to approach this with my once equally commitment-phobe partner.

Any suggestions would be welcome.

Thanking you.

[RdHrshyKss]

just be honest and talk to him about it. you won't know anything until you have a conversation with him about how you are feeling and what his thoughts are on the matter. he might not be interested, and you'll know that you should move on...or he might have changed his mind too and be open to the idea of progressing in the relationship. you won't know until you talk to him about it.

[Agape]

Well you should have a talk with him . . . have you told him about how you're thoughts have changed? Going from "very independent, strong, career driven woman" to marriage, wedding, and kids?

Mind you take it easy on those 3 big things when you bring them up