Telling girlfriend you're a virgin

[bc3499]

Hi,

I have been dating my current girlfriend for about 2 months now. Everything is going great. About 3 weeks ago, she asked me how many girls I've been with and I thought she was asking about how many relationships I've had but thinking back she was probably asking how many times I have had sex. So she thinks I'm not a virgin but I am.

She also asked me when was the first time I had sex a few weeks ago and I kinda dodged the question. Now I feel like I should tell her the truth but am afraid she's going to think I'm not truthful since she thinks I told her I was not a virgin.

How should I go about telling her? Wait until the time is right or just tell her? Is it even that big a deal? I may be over-analyzing here...

Any advice is appreciated, thanks!

[Applesauce]

you are over-analyzing the situation. Just forget about it and don't bring it up unless she asks you

[doppelgaenger]

It's not really that big a deal. At least you don't have an STD or something.

[davedlt]

Hi,

I think the problem here is that you are ashamed of being a virgin so you didn't/don't want to tell her. Deal with that first, so you can tell her without any shame. Everyone was a virgin before the first time they had sex. I think that is the bigger issue here.

I think honesty is the best policy in this case, but keep in mind that you're not confessing to her a secret skeleton in the closet or anything like that. You are going the other way. She will be happy to know that you were a virgin before her. If she had any fears that you were comparing her to someone else, they will be laid to rest.

When you tell her, authentically say 'I'm sorry I wasn't completely honest with you in the beginning. I had a few issues which I have dealt with now. But the truth is that I was actually a virgin before I got in a relationship with you'.

You will be doing her a favour.

Good luck with it.

Dave.

[Agape]

how old are you? . . depending on your age it might not even be a big deal?

[bc3499]

Thanks for the replies! I am a bit ashamed of being a virgin you're right. So would you say until I feel the time is right, it's really nothing if I don't tell her right away?

I'm 23 so I feel it's slightly a bigger deal than if I was in high school but sex is just sex, not sure why I am making it out to be a huge deal in my mind.

Thanks again.

[cheeky&sexy]

I think you should tell her ASAP rather than wait till the moment you are about to have sex, because it will ruin the mood. Keeping that secret for any longer is only going to make it worse and u dont want her to think u are ashamed, cos then she will think you wont be confident in bed. Just ask her 'remember when u asked me how many girls ive been with? well i wasnt sure if u were referring to girlfriends or sex' then tell her u are actually a virgin. It is not that big of a deal but i understand why you think it is. Is she very experienced? she might enjoy the idea of being te dominant one at first. I think a lot of girls probably wish they could sleep with one virgin in their lifetime hehe.

[Boisdevie]

Don't tell her. If you fail to perform that well just tell her you were nervous. Then do it again till you get it right

[cheeky&sexy]

You think? I have to disagree and i think u will probably be much more nervous if u dont tell her, because u know her expectations will be higher if she doesnt know you're a virgin. If you tell her, then u have a chance to exceed her expectations. Id much rather know that a guy is not performing that well because he is a virgin, than think he just isnt that good. If a guy told me he didnt perform cos he was nervous thatd be a bit of a turnoff and id have doubts about it.

[Radarsonar]

She probably inferred you were a virgin a long time ago. 2 months without sex is a long time for non-virgins.

Instead of telling her though, just have sex with her. More fun, no embarrassment.

[Poetic_Partner]

"...She also asked me when was the first time I had sex a few weeks ago and I kinda dodged the question...."
After this, she knows (or at least suspects) you are a virgin. After hearing this, she likely revisited your earlier conversation in her mind and thought "Poor guy - must have been too embarrassed" or "Hmm - he must have been talking about girlfriends or non-intercourse orgasms."

Just clear the air a little. It doesn't have to be major. "I'm a bit - worried - to tell you this, but you need to know that I have no experience with sex. We've talked about it a couple times and the first time I just thought you were asking how many relationships I've had. The second time I dodged the question but I wish I had been able to tell you straight up."

Then let her ask/talk.

If it bothers her, by the way, trust me - she's not trustworthy. If she shrugs, like most people would, just get on with your relationship!

-PP

[YouAreBeautiful]

Just tell her straight up, she will likely appreciate it. Just ask youself is she is a good girl or not. If she's a good girl, you'll be fine. I think she may even be delighted.