Dating a Dismissing Avoidant

[lovindisneymagi]

I was doing research for my human sexuality class- and i came across something called Dismissing Avoidant.
And its pretty much how those who did not have their needs met when they were kids by their parents, have a harder time trusting and connecting to someone. And that they feel that their independence is the only thing they have and they push people away to avoid rejection and to avoid dependent.
I think that's what my boyfriend is.
When we first met, up to our 2nd a half month, he was very attentive and sweet and showed his emotions. As soon as we hit 3 months and started up school again, he doesn't really take any steps to communicating with me or showing his emotions- its almost like hes backing away from me.
He's even said that he doesn't need me telling him how much I care because he knows I do, and I know that he cares about me and that should be enough.
So, my question is:
How do you deal with dating a dismissing avoidant? Give them space? We only see each other once or twice a week as it is! We're coming up on our 4th month now.
When reading up on Dismissing Avoidant, it was mentioned that they tend to retreat the most when they are under stress- which is what happened when he started school- he has 13 hour school days as well as practicing his instrument (music major).

[Incognito]

The chances of you studying about dismissive avoiding behavior and dating one of those people is slim. Chances are that you are seeing some of the characteristics and trying to press him into that category because it is easier for you to accept that he "is" something that you have a book on and can possibly fix because you are studying about it.

The reality is that your relationship is simply failing. Not all relationships work out and many fizzle after just a short time. Maybe he met someone else. Maybe he just realizes that he doesn't like you as much now that he knows you better. Maybe he's just a jerk. Him being a jerk is more likely in my opinion since many guys go down the path of being less into the relationship as long as their sexual needs are being met. There is nothing deeply psychological about a jerk of a man trying to turn you into his f*ck buddy by emotionally distancing himself from you.

Dump him and find someone who will treat you right.

[Agape]

have a harder time trusting and connecting to someone. And that they feel that their independence is the only thing they have and they push people away to avoid rejection and to avoid dependent.

That's pretty similar to standard break up procedure. . . but seriously, 13 hr school days? that's in itself means he need lots of time to himself

[RdHrshyKss]

sounds to me like he's lost interest or isn't looking for a serious relationship. you've only been together for a few months...that's not long at all. i know you're probably extremely interested in the material you are learning and you want to apply it somehow so that it feels relevant. trust me, i was a psych and sociology major...i'd soak that shit up like a sponge and go out looking for things to apply my knowledge to. it was fun, but don't go overboard haha.

the way he's behaving sounds like typical male behavior in college. if you aren't happy with the way things are in the relationship, move on. you guys are probably not in the same place as far as what you are looking for in a relationship, and it sounds like he has tons of other shit on his mind, coursework, practicing his instrument, etc.. you're in college. live it up.

[vashti]

I'm not dismissive-avoidant, but all that pop psych would have me backing off, too.

[YouAreBeautiful]

I don't think a person with this issue would be able to show you intense emotion for as much as a few months. He is probably busy and tired and relationships naturally calm down over time. It sounds natural from what you have listed. Unless there is more going on than you've said it sounds pretty normal.