Anyone feel sex is a chore?

[chairman55]

I have a pretty high sex drive and the wife has a particularly low one (with absolutely no kinky side whatsoever). To make things worse, it takes a while for me to cum during both oral and vaginal sex so either she gets to the point where she gets too sensitive during sex and she stops me or her jaw gets tired and she stops.

It's gottn to the point where we've both developed complexes about our sex lives. For me, on the one hand I understand our difference in drive so I try no to initiate sex but on the other hand the times we do and she stops me and pushes me off, I feel rejected and not loved (especially since I give my 110% to give her oral due to her hypersensitivity with intercourse). And for her, she constantly feels that there's nothing she can do to satisfy me and that I have high demands and that when the weekend rolls around she feels more pressure knowing that we might have to have sex.

She says that she does enjoy intercourse and oral for me, but just in much shorter times. I don't know what else we can do. We've had so many talks and arguments but nothing really changes. I try to give her ideas and tips for oral but it goes back to the circular argument about me being too picky and her not being able to satisfy me. I try to masturbate more often but I still want to have intimacy with her but even those times aren't really intimate.

Has anyone been in a similar situation? I know that there's probably not much I can do in my situation, but I'm curious if this occurs in other relationships.

[Sonrisa]

it might be time for viagra. try using different types of extasy to spice up your life as well.

[vashti]

If you are already taking too long to finish, then you should STOP masturbating. It desensitizes you.

[Boisdevie]

Was she always like this or is it a recent thing? It might shed light on the situation.

[Sonrisa]

Was she always like this or is it a recent thing? It might shed light on the situation.

like what like this?

[Raven_Skye]

Extasy as in experiences or extasy as in drugs? Tell me you don't mean the drug.. because that will honestly make a guy take even longer to come during sex.

[Sonrisa]

i do mean the drug. at some point in life there comes a time when it's not about cumming anymore. it's about an overall enjoyable experience. (says someone who never tried extasy)

[chairman55]

We don't use any recreational drugs and I'm pretty sure we're not going to start. As for the masturbation, I've got it down to a science where I usually masturbate at the beginning of the week to get rid of the buildup and then "save up" for the weekend. And as for if she has always been like this, I guess that it has more or less been like this but it seems like my sex drive has been higher lately somehow but it's more of a downward spiral for her because the more she feels like it's chore and not being able to satisfy me, the shorter amount of time she feels she's enjoying it.

[VincenzoG91]

I've heard that you can hire migrant laborers in front of Home Depot to do your chores for cash.

[Sonrisa]

^^^ and that might increase her sex drive as well

[gregorymoto]

i do mean the drug. at some point in life there comes a time when it's not about cumming anymore. it's about an overall enjoyable experience. (says someone who never tried extasy)

Word to that.

[gregorymoto]

Sounds like your wife is turning into a good friend. You might want to ask yourself if your willing to not have a fun sex life. If the answer is no i would talk to her and see if she will go into counseling so you can work this out.
My best friend just went through something like this for 10 years. She did not feel that they had a issue with sex so he is now single and has a very nice girl friend that ****s him alllllll over the place.
Life is short. Let her know what you need. Remember, dont be a dick about it. Look for a solution dont blame her or get into a fight about it. That will make the sex go far far away.
Tell her what you want, ask her what she wants, decide what compromises your both willing to make and go from there.

[Kaius]

This is sexual incompatibility. If you are unwilling to give up sex, you guys should separate and divorce.
People should not remain in a marriage when they don't have same desire as their spouse. It's basic
consideration and communication. Why torture yourselves being in a bad marriage?

[smackie9]

Get her to stick her fingers up you ass to stimulate your prostate. It will make the eye roll back into your head with ecstasy. She can put a condom with lube over two fingers to protect her hand. Also you should give yourself an enema before hand to clean things out. You can buy kits for that off the net. If she won't do that try using a butt plug or an inflatable one for over the top stimulation. That will make you cum fast.

As for improving her desire you need to romance her like when you were first dating. Women need to feel appreciated, wined and dined, pampered and loved. The affection has to be shown outside the bedroom and not to lead to sex. Do things for her like help with household work, compliment her, buy her flowers on non occasions, surprise her with a romantic dinner or a trip to a bed and breakfast. Before sex give her a full body massage for like an hour to help her relax, buy her some sex toys for her own pleasure. Women need this to feel sexy, desired in order to want sex. It's all about putting her in the right state of mind.

[warriormaiden]

^^^ you sound like you've had exsperince.

No offense, but I could never understand how a woman could deem having sex with her husband, or just the person that she's in love with, as a chore. To me, that speaks of deeper issues than intimacy. Maybe you guys need to go and have some counseling.