She has moved on so fast..

[lddude13]

Ok,heres my story..I met this girl 3 years ago,we hit it off right off the bat,6 months later I ask her to marry me as a commitment to our furture.8 months later we had a big wonderful wedding all was great. I moved in with her a month before the marraige,,I knew then things were gonna take work.We did argue but we had grown and always worked things out.3 months ago things had gotton out of hand and I moved out..(bigest mistake of my life) we had talked before I moved out and thought this would give us sometime to work on ourselves.We contunued to talk and see each other for a month after I moved out.Then all of a sudden she needs her space..I know she felt I had abanndoned her..I had felt so much guilt I overdosed..She came to see me both nights I was at the hospital,then when I got out she gave me a ride home,she even hung out and we had sex..She left that day and that was it,,No ansering calls,no text,blocked from face book,everything..I had noticed on her facebook the last time she came over that she had a new friend,I ask her about it,,she said she didnt even know him,but he sent her a friend request and she accepted..Then I get notice from her lawyer that she wants a divorce..I look at this guys facebook page and it says in a relationship with her,and she had confirmed it..This all happened within a month and 2 weeks after I moved out,I never cheated on her..We were so in love,,she had told me before she loved me so much it scared her,,I also loved her that way..It was real love..And still the divorce is not finalized..I am so hurt I could not begin to think about being in a relationship..How could our love have meant so little to her?I cannot even get closher because she will not talk to me,I have to go through her lawyer.It is like she has died and I am having to grieve..I have never felt so sffraid and alone,,never so hurt and heartbroken..I don't know if I can ever love or trust again,,I have lost hope..How could she have done this..the love was real....

[Boscher]

Argh, my friend I feel for you. It is a bitter pill to swallow but she simply did not feel as strongly toward you as you did to her. I am so sorry.

Some people get over things much quicker than others. Please try and stay strong and really just surround yourself with your close friends and family to get through this tough period.

Although it is probably unthinkable, you WILL get over it and you WILL have more relationships in future - probably ones that are even more special than this. With women that treat and care for you like you do for them.

All the best buddy - and keep on keeping on.

[Agape]

Who knows the reasons . . . all you know is what's going on in your life and you need to somehow move on . . . cut her out of your life, who cares about her, and whatever to how fast she's moved on.

[a0330v]

Dear lddude13,
The feelings you are experiencing right now are only temporary. This will pass sooner than you think and you will be surprised by all the wonderful things life suddenly has to offer now that you are free again.

It always helps to consider why this situation occurred in the first place.
Since you proposed after only 6 months, your brain was still flooded with sexual attraction hormones, not the kind of hormones that make you feel friendship and comfort. The sexual attraction hormones only keep active for a specified amount of time, before your body readjusts. This is when you started to realize that things were going tho take work and the initial attraction gave away to the process that couples go through in order to establish weather they are compatible for the long-term. Since the two had never lived together, you were bound to need some time to readjust to each other. A person living alone only needs to cater to his own needs, while now compromising has to be the #1 focus to ensure a happy home. If you were already having difficulties in the beginning, chances are that you were not able to build a positive rapport with each other. Since you didn't have your own space to retreat to and you had not learned how to be with each other in such close quarter while during a conflict, it is easy for things to get out of hand.
You moved out to get that space, but she read that as abandonment. This is where the vital lack of compatibility lies within your relationship, which you simply didn't have time to discover before you moved in and got married. During a conflict you like to figure things out in your own space and then come back with a better frame of mind where you are sure you wont say anything you'll later regret, while she want to move closer to work it out in your shared space, needing an intense closeness to solve issue. Since you know yourself very well, that is not the optimal way of solving things for you, you would feel suffocated and be more likely to unravel the situation further.
There is no right or wrong personality type, but it is important to share the same conflict solving style.
It is very difficult to make this kind of personality difference work in the long run and you are so lucky to have figured it out at this point, before you guys had kids etc.
The fact that she moved on has nothing to do with you. Her personality's need for constant closeness makes her run to someone, anyone as it seems in this case, to make her feel better. She relies on others closeness to solve her issues, while you are more independent and know how to solve your problems on your own.

This realization explains why you are so lucky to now be free to be yourself again and meet someone with a more compatible personality than your ex. Many waste their life in marriages that are doomed to be miserable, but you are one of the blessed few to know who you are and whats best for you!

I admire you strength and this is something I have no doubt you can handle.

[lddude13]

Thank you all..I just hope the heartach ends soon...It just doesnt seem to get easier day to day...

[a0330v]

The best way to make your day to day life easier is to have a plan for tomorrow. Make sure that you fill your time with activities that you enjoy, even if you have to go to work, plan something with your friends for later. This will keep you amongst people and prevent you from having too much time to analyze a situation you have no influence over and is not your fault in the first place.
What do you like to do? Sports, Bars, Food, Movies, anything works. Physical activity is a great thing to start out with. It gets you outside and breathing in fresh air combined with sunshine refills your body with Vitamin D, which is proven to promote the release of endorphines, the happiness hormone. Even if it's not outside, physical activity itself promotes the proper oxygenation of your body, which also releases endorphines.

So your 2 steps for today:
1. get some physical activity
2. plan something fun for tomorrow where you'll be amongst family or friends

You are very strong and this will pass sooner than you ever imagined.

[a0330v]

Also a fantastic way to overcome the feeling of being overwhelmed or overall anxiety due to a situation is this super simple breathing exercise I do all the time. The reason it works is because whenever you start feeling anxious you instantly start breathing fast and your blood doesn't get enough oxygen. A lack oxygen immediately creates an emotional panic in your body, which is where that feeling of things spinning out of control etc come from. It signals a state of emergency to the brain, which tells your body to breathe even faster and so on. All you need to do is breathe slower whenever you start feeling anxious. As long your body always gets enough oxygen, the anxiety never gets a footing and simply fizzles.

Exercise:
1. Breathe in on one count through the nose. Make sure you are breathing into the stomach, with minimal movement of your chest. (It can help to place one hand on the chest and the other on your stomach to actually feel the movement)
2. Breathe out on 5 counts through the mouth.
3. Do this as long as you need until the anxiety has gotten a chance to fizzle. (5-10 times usually works)

This works for me, I will work for you!

[lddude13]

Thank you for all the help..It is still a daily struggle.I have another question maybe someone has some insight on..Bout the the past 3 weeks,I noticed she checks my myspace everyday,,So bout two weeks ago I would post something about us.She has only made 2 sudle comments on her page bout me..I post something new everyday,,I know she checks myspace EVERYDAY..I wonder,does this mean anything?

[IncognitoSir]

Am I the only one who thinks her actions are suspicious? New bf before you're divorced and all in a months time? Hmmmmm......

[a0330v]

Dear lddude,
it looks like she is doing something that every person does after breaking up, and that is a little bit of cyber stalking. Most people after a breakup, even if years have gone by and they are both in new relationships, are still interested in their ex's dating lives. Whenever an ex that they had a longterm relationship with gets a new girlfriend, wife, boyfriend, husband etc, they will compare themselves to that new person. It doesn't have to be in a negative way at all, but the innate curiosity of what the new partner looks like or who he/she is, will always be of interest. This mutual "keeping tabs on each other" is usually just a little a little narcissistic indulgence we are addicted to.
The fact that you post something new every day would get most ex partners to visit your page. Everybody who just broke up with someone is wondering if the other is going to post something about them or the breakup online. It's the little narcissist in all of us. Subconsciously we all think the world couldn't possibly keep turning without us, as we just want to look for proof it on other peoples profiles.
In order to act in your own interest, it would be smart to find an activity not involving a social networking site. Seeing that she checks out your page only gives you false hope, although you know that the woman that you are meant to be with for the rest of your life would never divorce you and get a new boyfriend in the same month, only shortly after you got married. You want a woman that will stay at your side through anything, illness, loss of parents, children etc.
You are a strong young man, when you look back at this it will seem trivial in all the countless beautiful things you will experience in life.