Dont know what to think?!?!?

[xxazurexx]

Hiya jrharvey & thanks for your reply. I have asked him & he said that he cant get his head around me thinking like this & that i have got this wild imagination!!

LOL!!!!!!!!

He must think you are a right fcking idiot.

[jessKK]

Dang, I agree

[girl68]

Hiya girl68. Thanks for your reply. I am not sure why i am so insecure!?! I know i have got a problem tho! I wish i could get a grip & just trust him. I trust him about 90% at the mo. I think it might be because my ex cheated on me & i dont see my self as sexy, pretty, smart or that i have got a good figure & i always pull myself down! It also doesnt help that my boyfriend doesnt tell me that i am sexy, pretty, smart or that he loves me often (if that makes sence?) I think girls need to be tould that all the time......am i right or is it just me?

Girls should be told yes, but you shouldn't have to RELY on those comments to feel that way about yourself. Ask him why he has to stay overnight? Suggest a kinky redevous at the hotel, suggest picking him up at the party so you can spend the night together.

[Charisma]

It all sounds too dodgy. Not just from what someone pointed out-that I didn't think of- that the company is paying for a hotel and banning partners from attending. But first and foremost is that your bf does not HAVE to attend it.

You need to feel great about yourself. Even if he cheated, even if he thinks you're an idiot and lies and all that, you are wonderful. Even if it is all lies and he's had to sneak about to hide his massive flaws and stupidity, you don't make him act like that, he does it by himself. If he were to mess things up, that would be his loss. You got that? Just like your stinking cheaty ex, and any other stinking exes you've had. Nothing you did made them cheat, they were the messed up idiots(to put it mildly).

Why am I saying all this? Because you should have all the confidence in the world!!!! When you finished with your ex, you probably felt low about it and thought no one would find you attractive ever again (I know I did at some point), but you were wrong because you got a new bf, right? And if this bf messed up, you'll find an even better and worthy one. Because you deserve worthy bfs!

So if your bf evades the truth and says you're this or that, just tell yourself that you either deserve a straight answer from him, or that you deserve someone else completely.

[VincenzoG91]

I agree with BackUp. Call his company and ask the receptionist about the hotel accommodations for the party. I bet you will discover that the company is not banning spouses or significant others from the hotel. You might even find out that the company isn't even offering hotel accommodations for the party. Once you have this information in hand, you can contact your boyfriend and dump him.

[brit_chick25]

LOL!!!!!!!!

He must think you are a right fcking idiot.

thats what i thought..........he must think i was born yesterday!!!

[girl68]

...so call! I would LOVE to hear what the company says!

[Nimrod44]

I agree with BackUp. Call his company and ask the receptionist about the hotel accommodations for the party. I bet you will discover that the company is not banning spouses or significant others from the hotel. You might even find out that the company isn't even offering hotel accommodations for the party. Once you have this information in hand, you can contact your boyfriend and dump him.

I like this idea. Find out what the real arrangements are. Even if it is true that the party and hotel rooms are only for employees that doesn't mean that people will stay in their assigned rooms. I've been to plenty of work related conferences where people swap room arrangements.

[brit_chick25]

Firstly , how did you get to know about the facebook message ? did he show you or you found out using your own ways ... He could be emotionally cheating
Emotional cheating happens when you:

- Discuss your partner and relationships with your friend.You share your fears, hopes, and dreams (this is emotional intimacy).
- Meet your friend for dinner or lunch without telling your partner.
- Keep your computer, files, and internet sites password-protected.
- Hide or are secretive about your life, relationships, and activities.
- Keep your partner waiting while you spend time with your friend.
- Stay in regular, intimate contact with ex-boyfriends or ex-girlfriends. Emotional cheating can spring from close relationships with past lovers.

Emotional cheating is common now with facebook and other social sites.
It can definitely lead to physical cheating.

You could probably let your partner know why you are concerned about his actions . Tell him you are feeling insecure due to your past experiences, tell him you are afraid to lose this 5 year long relationship, don't be afraid to let him know your weaknesses and fears.
Then, tell him that you are trying hard to overcome your insecurities and you will continue to put your trust on him .

The first reason why I suggest the above is : if he did emotionally cheat on you, pressuring him and thinking negative all day long will only push him to commit physical cheating. Furthermore, debating with him over something that "might not" have happened may cause him to discuss with this new girl or someone else about your "RELATIONSHIP PROBLEMS"

The second reason is: If he really did cheat, showing your support and trust could possibility cause him to admit out of guilt or stop totally.

Next, work on ways to improving communication, intimacy and sexual life, Ill leave that to your imaginations and why it would help.

good luck

Hiya. Sorry only just getting back to you all, my laptop is broke & it keeps turning its self off Grrrr! Thanks for your reply.I didnt find the message on facebook but i knew he was looking at her profile because i saw his history. The email that i found said - if you could send me some work sheets that i need i will get you a drink at the party. I dont think he is emotional cheating on me because he doesnt even go out anywere. He knows how i feel & that i dont trust him 100%. I know his password but he doesnt know that i know them.

Gonna try & get back to everyone else now befor my laptop go's off!

[brit_chick25]

Girls should be told yes, but you shouldn't have to RELY on those comments to feel that way about yourself. Ask him why he has to stay overnight? Suggest a kinky redevous at the hotel, suggest picking him up at the party so you can spend the night together.

Hiya again. He has got to stop there because the party is near the main office which is 3 hours away from where we live, so even if i wanted to meet him after the party i couldnt because its to far away.

[brit_chick25]

It all sounds too dodgy. Not just from what someone pointed out-that I didn't think of- that the company is paying for a hotel and banning partners from attending. But first and foremost is that your bf does not HAVE to attend it.

You need to feel great about yourself. Even if he cheated, even if he thinks you're an idiot and lies and all that, you are wonderful. Even if it is all lies and he's had to sneak about to hide his massive flaws and stupidity, you don't make him act like that, he does it by himself. If he were to mess things up, that would be his loss. You got that? Just like your stinking cheaty ex, and any other stinking exes you've had. Nothing you did made them cheat, they were the messed up idiots(to put it mildly).

Why am I saying all this? Because you should have all the confidence in the world!!!! When you finished with your ex, you probably felt low about it and thought no one would find you attractive ever again (I know I did at some point), but you were wrong because you got a new bf, right? And if this bf messed up, you'll find an even better and worthy one. Because you deserve worthy bfs!

So if your bf evades the truth and says you're this or that, just tell yourself that you either deserve a straight answer from him, or that you deserve someone else completely.

Hiya. Thanks for your reply. I know for a fact that his boss is paying for hotel rooms because i seen a txt on his fone from his boss talking about it. My friend at work isnt allowed to go to her boyfriends works xmas party & he is staying in a hotel aswell!

[brit_chick25]

I agree with BackUp. Call his company and ask the receptionist about the hotel accommodations for the party. I bet you will discover that the company is not banning spouses or significant others from the hotel. You might even find out that the company isn't even offering hotel accommodations for the party. Once you have this information in hand, you can contact your boyfriend and dump him.

Hello. I know for a fact that his boss is paying for hotel rooms because i seen a txt on his fone from his boss talking about it. I dont wanna ring up & ask because i dont want them all knowing at the office my business!!

[brit_chick25]

I like this idea. Find out what the real arrangements are. Even if it is true that the party and hotel rooms are only for employees that doesn't mean that people will stay in their assigned rooms. I've been to plenty of work related conferences where people swap room arrangements.

Hiya & thx 4 ya reply. I dont wanna ring up & ask because i dont want them all knowing at the office my business but i know exactly what you are saying!

[brit_chick25]

Don't let your negative past experience get into you, let it go " If you could send me some work sheets that i need i will get you a drink at the party" doesn't sound like flirting to me. I don't foresee much problems at the party because you will have your ways to make sure he doesn't get the chance to try anything funny.( since you can actually find out his password ). To be honest, if I am with a person that checks my laptop history or keeps my password without my knowledge , I would have ended the relationship long ago. The fact that you guys hung on for 5 years does show how much you guys are made for each other. Perhaps the main issue here is "trust" and not about this party or this new girl.

Well i hope you are right & thanks for the advice. I just wish i could trust him without checking up on him. We nearly split afew months ago & it was him that said lets try & work things out as i was ready for leaving. We have also got big plans for the future so if he was gonna cheat then surely he wouldnt of tould me to stay & make plans with me?? (if you understand)?

[YouAreBeautiful]

BritChik it is definitely not you. .I would talk to him about it and get a gauge on the situation. It may just be she is his "work girlfriend." If you watch Greys Anatomy, one of the Surgeons and the chief surgeons are work husband and wife. There is nothing going on with them romantically but they watch each others backs at work, laugh, have inside jokes. It's easy for this type of relationship to get a little flirt and natural, but if you suspect something is really going on trust your instincts. It all comes down to the dynamic of your personal relationship. I know in my relationship this would not be acceptable to me or my partner. The dynamic you have with your partner, how long you've been in a relationship, how serious it is all play a role.