A painting that made me feel uneasy....

[gizbug]

Quick background. Met a girl on eHARMONY about 5 1/2 weeks ago. Very strong so far, very. We are 100% open, honest, and ourselves around each other. Things have just been unbelievable, never really met someone who I can be myself completely, and the same with her. So she's spent the night a handful of times at my place (it's easier for her in the morning with work, then me going to her place).

Last night, was the first time I spent the night at her place. I walked into her bedroom, and saw this huge painting of a naked lady over the bed. I asked "What is that?" and she said "That's me." I was immediately creeped out. I just saw Titanic the movie a few weeks ago, and it reminded me of that. A little background: She was with a guy 5 years, they were engaged, and he is an artist. I am not sure how long ago that ended, I want to say maybe 2 years ago. But I guess he painted that picture of her, and to be honest, I can't recall being that uncomfortable in a long time. Why? I don't really know. I never really brought this up to her yet. I told her when I woke up this morning that I had a horrible night sleep, bad dreams, and today was an off day. She made me breakfast, comforted me, and I told her if I can organize and rationalize whats on my mind, I might share. I don't like holding anything back, as that is not me. But I am not sure what to think. Some would look at it as an innocent painting I am sure. Any input? This being blown out of proportion?

[girl68]

I don't think you're uncomfortable with the painting I think you're uncomfortable that some dude saw her naked and she posed for him long enough to paint it.

[Gribble]

I think you should get the **** over it, man. Don't talk about it or anything. Just get over it.

[gizbug]

I think you should get the **** over it, man. Don't talk about it or anything. Just get over it.

Great advice, thanks

[Gribble]

It's your weird obsession. You describe something like Poe would write.. I half expect you to stare at it for hours on end before bursting into the bedroom to stab the damn painting to pieces.

[Poetic_Partner]

@ Gribble - you're thinking of Oscar Wilde.

I agree with Girl68's post - imho you're likely crepped out that you're confronted with the fact that she was a sexual being before meeting you. It's a polite fiction that people often engage in, but you can't even subconsciously pretend otherwise.

First response is to try and ignore it.

Second, if it really is a good painting, then admire it and your potential lover.

-PP

[Gribble]

I'm thinking of the Telltale Heart. Poe.

[gizbug]

@ Gribble - you're thinking of Oscar Wilde.

I agree with Girl68's post - imho you're likely crepped out that you're confronted with the fact that she was a sexual being before meeting you. It's a polite fiction that people often engage in, but you can't even subconsciously pretend otherwise.

First response is to try and ignore it.

Second, if it really is a good painting, then admire it and your potential lover.

-PP

You are probably right. I guess it's part of life, each day we encounter things that we've never encountered before, faced with situations that are new. This is definitely one of them.

[xxazurexx]

You've only known her five and a half weeks and already you are chewing over stuff that happened in the past.

Get over it, or set her free to find a guy who doesn't whinge at the least little thing.

[gizbug]

set her free to find a guy who doesn't whinge at the least little thing.

Didn't know it was a little thing, guess I overlooked something.

[gizbug]

Who "whinging?" I came on here, and posted an issue I had, and wanted to see if it was legit. You come on here, and degrade. I'm sorry I'm not that Casanova you thought I was. What say you?

[latinking101]

You have every right to feel uncomfortable gizbug. But realize, from what i know, she no longer sees the guy anymore. He's out of her life except through that painting and maybe smaller memoirs. I live with the philosophy of never hate anything that made you smile once. She might be practicing that philosophy. Realize, the girl is into you. Not him anymore. A 5 year relationship is a big part of anyone's life. I would say once you reach a particularly high comfort level with her, then you can question it. We're talking you've been dating for quite a while and are a significant part of her life. My 2 cents.

[gizbug]

You have every right to feel uncomfortable gizbug. But realize, from what i know, she no longer sees the guy anymore. He's out of her life except through that painting and maybe smaller memoirs. I live with the philosophy of never hate anything that made you smile once. She might be practicing that philosophy. Realize, the girl is into you. Not him anymore. A 5 year relationship is a big part of anyone's life. I would say once you reach a particularly high comfort level with her, then you can question it. We're talking you've been dating for quite a while and are a significant part of her life. My 2 cents.

Latinking: Thanks for a rational approach at the situation. I think I was looking at the painting in the wrong light. More of she posing naked for a painting. Again, something new to me. I guess she must appreciate the picture for her, and not the person who painted it. I am sure she loves the picture, because it captures her. I should be happy I am with her now, and not look at it as something that occurred in the past. Again, I said nothing when I said it, because I needed time to reflect, maybe as a 3rd person view, on it, and come to my own conclusion. I am glad I didn't say anything at that momemt, because it might have come off as irrational. But after time to think about it, I think I blew it out of porportion in my mind. Thanks again.

[doppelgaenger]

I have a few paintings of naked women.

[gizbug]

I have a few paintings of naked women.

I bet you do (smile)