I cannot concentrate because of her.......

[DDD]

My girlfriend is out of the country working for the ministry and something doesn't feel right. She's at a hotel now with many new people from work and before she would always call and make time for us online but since she's been there things are different. I feel like she rushes off the phone and when I say I love her, she will whisper it back as if she is embarressed to say it because someone might hear her. Anytime she is around strangers she is shy about saying this but I cant understand. I begin to think to myself that there is a reason why she wouldn't say it. This morning she called me and then when I asked how her day was she just quickly hung up. I called her back twice before she answered and she said that everyone was looking at her and froze. Then had to get to a meeting. Call me crazy but why do I feel like she is hiding me from strangers there.... There are times this week she said she would call in 30 mins and then called in 3 hours after stating she had to change clothes because the people from the office were eating out... OMG, I'm losing my mind and it's affecting me at work now. I can't even think about work and I'm trying to run a company here. Please give me some insight on how I should approach this because I dont want to over react but also show that this isn't normal behavior.

[ThirdMan]

Take a deep breath and relax. Unless your girlfriend has given strong reason not to trust her, what choice do you have? Based solely on your post, I would say that you have nothing to worry about. She probably just doesn't have a whole lot of privacy where she is located. Act confident, tell her you love her and she will respect the hell out of you.

[DDD]

I know what you say is good advice and it's so much easier to realize this when not involved. I used to never feel like this when we were apart. I can't understand where these feelings are coming from. Confidence has never been a problem with me before. In fact, I was always the one who was in complete control in previous relationships.... but this girl has done something to me and I dont know what. For some reason I'm not in control with her and I hate it!!! I can't flip the "I dont give a ****" switch with her and it's confusing me. I will just have to be cool about it and observe the situation objectively. Keep the feedback coming!!!!

[xxazurexx]

I think you need to relax and quit worrying about stuff that is totally beyond your control.

I used to be a bit like you and when I was doing the long distance thing. My mind would wander, I'd imagine he was doing this and doing that...I was going c-r-a-z-z-y and driving him doubly c-r-a-z-z-y with my shit.

Anyways I came to the realisation that all this crap was pushing him away, he was hurt, I was hurting and it dawned on me that I was worrying about things that were way beyond my control. If he was going to leave me and for some local chick, it was gonna happen.....nothing at all I could do about it, so why the heck worry about it? That if he was going to leave me and for this local chick I imagined, then he obviously didn't and hadn't really cared about me much anyway.

From that point I sat back and just relaved and adopted the attitude, 'whatever will be, will be' and I stopped worrying about what may/may not happen, what he was up too, etc. We got along better than ever and when I quit my psycho thoughts....

[DDD]

Well her and I had a long talk this evening and I'm feeling 10 times better. I also realize that her whispering was nothing more than a culture thing of where she is now. She is from this country whre she is currently working at and because we are not married yet, people are very nosey and in her business. It doesn't look good for a woman to say this other than to her husband which I do not hold this title yet. She was really open minded about my concern and I have realized that I was letting my mind go crazy for no reason. She also brought up a good point. When she is home she is not under the pressure of management while at training conventions. I on the other hand own my own firm and can do as I please thru delegating tasks. This is the first time I've had to experience her being on a schedule and it made me think about it. I was always spoiled to her time and now I was being selfish about her time. She understood my concerns and took them too heart and made me feel 1000% better about us. I am so ashamed of how I was freaking out..... I'm only human but this woman is a Goddess. I don't deserve someone this good. Okay.... now all of you can make fun of me for panicking wihtout real cause. LOL :-P

[xxazurexx]

Nah I wouldn't laugh at you and because I've been there myself. The mind can be a funny thing.

Just chill out and keep reminding yourself you have found a good woman in her. Good luck anyway