Should I worried about her ex ?

[f1repyro]

Hi,
Nice to meet you all. I'm new here.

Before I ask the questions I want to tell the background 1st.
Last time I was in relationship was in highschool until today.

Let's say this girl's name is Lili.
I start woo Lili on february 2010. I got busy with works and always postpones seeing her.
The 1st time 1 met her was July 2010. Yeah, quite long I know.
After that the frequency became shorter. I date with her 4 times and we just in relationship this months.

She's 3 years younger than me. And almost graduated from university.
What I'm going to tell is they day when I ask her to be my girlfriend.

2 days before, I flirt with her and almost kiss her. But I held back. When I was driving her home, she said to me we still has no status (as boyfriend and girlfriend) so she doesn't want it.

So I planned to ask her in the next date.

Here's the story.
I took her to her university to apply for her graduation ceremony. We had a great time until we met her ex. I don't know that we met her ex until she told me in the car. She said that we met her ex, and her ex seems to turn around and avoiding us.
In the car, she was so shock so I held her hand and have conversation with her. After 20 or 30 minutes I asked her "Have u calm?", she said with smile "Almost, just hold my hand more". So I did.
She start to tell me about her ex. She tell me that she suspicious that her ex seeing other girl and got jealous. And that had a fight, and that her ex pushed her and she almost fall from the stairs. She broke of with her ex almost a year now.

Then we arrived at the cafe (where I planned to ask her). We chat for about half an hour then I asked her. She asked about how I solve our faith problem as I buddhist and she is catholic. I told her about happiness is not gained from religion and so on. For half an hour we talked until she told me to ask her once again. So I asked her and she accepted.
I felt so 'freaking' relived. Forgive my words.

Then we chat again, we chat and chat until she start to talk about her ex. Then she start crying. I felt so sad seeing her cry so I caress her hair (I don't know if my english was right, forgive me if I's making mistakes in writing, 'coz I'm not from english native speakers country. I touched her hair from top to button showing I care).
Then this feeling rush to the surface. I felt jealous and insecure.
She start smiling again and we chat a little longer then we left.
We went to the cinema watched movie. While on the way to the cinema, inside the cinema, and the way back to her house I held her hand. Feeling so insecure. She said "I'm not going anywhere" about 3 times. Still, I held her hand.

When we were on the road to her home.
She chat about how her ex ask her to be his gf. Her ex bought a doll which she like on her previous birthday. I said to her "That's not good". She asked why, I said "'Coz it's like bribing ur heart".
I test her, I said "I'll buy u sponge bob doll, and u should throw that doll", she replied "I don't want to". I asked why, she answered "I like Winnie the pooh doll". "Why don't u buy me one", Irritated I replied "I don't want to". (I don't want to be compared to her ex).
She also said "Today I cried and laughed" or "Today I cried then laughed". I can't remember.

That night I changed my facebook status so in relationship with her. 2 day after that I asked her "Why u haven't change ur facebook status?". Then she changed hers. But, she deleted the post about we are in relationship on her profile.
"I said to her "Actually facebook status is not important, what's important is our feeling. But, facebook status also kinda important to prevent someone else wooing u".

So here's my questions.
1. Seeing her crying about her ex, make me fell like 'if her ex want her back, she will confuse and can't decide. Our relationship just begin and I feel she will chose her ex, 'coz she had history with her ex longer than me. And her ex met her before me.

My friend said "Maybe she release the burden when she cried and starting something fresh with me after that 'coz she smile to me after that". Should I be insecure about this?
i know girls doesn't like insecure man. But hey, men are humans too after all.

2. Why she deleted the post about us in relationship in her facebook profile. Does she embarrassed being with me. Does she still want to open the opportunities to other guy out there.

My friend said she just doesn't want to make a fuss about it to her friends, that I should calm down 'coz pictures with me are still on her facebook and she didn't delete it or make it invincible.

3. I saw in a glance there's a picture of her with someone on her wallet. Maybe her ex.
As us still just in relationship I can't just ask her to get rid everything about her ex like the doll, pictures, and handphone numbers. Or should I?

As I still not experience about this whole relationship about, 'coz I seldom had girlfriend.
I need others opinion. Girl or guy please state ur gender to make me know about both side opinions.

Thanks in advance.


Best Regards to u all,


Guy who just falling in love.

[Poetic_Partner]

To your questions:

1) I see no reason to believe she would or does want her boyfriend back. You should be proud she can expose her emotions to you like that. I certainly can't know, but she seems to want nothing to do with him.

2) You may be pushing too fast on that. She's still morning the loss of her relationship with her ex and is a bit gun-shy. She has uncertainty - just be there for her and she'll likely come around.

3) No - do NOT pressure her to give up momentos of her past. You do not know who the wallet-photo is and you will seem pushy if you make a big deal over finding out who it is. The doll thing, especially, seems really pushy. She likes the doll, not him.

Hope this helps! Good luck with your new relationship.

-PP

[f1repyro]

@Poetic_Partner

Thanks for answering
I did it. I told her honestly that I got jealous and that I shouldn't. That I should support her about her past.
That I'm going to buy her Winnie The Poop doll not because I jealous or something, but because I want the doll accompany her when she sleep.
Because her past is the one lead her to me.

We comfort each other by telling our worries about our 'bud' relationship.
We both felt relieved and become closer that before ^^.



Best regards,


Secure Guy