Long distance split, advice needed

[Catmeat]

Hey, first of all nice forum, my first post im going to make sure i post here more often! Heres my predicament;

So i met my girlfriend around 8 months ago, she was working as i was on a night out and i was drunk, got talking to her and her sister (they were working on a burger van for their dad coverin the main employee who was sick), and managed to get her number. I texted and rang her a few times that following week then took her out on a few dates, after a few weeks we were officially boyfriend and girlfriend, we got on great, had a laugh together, her family liked me my family liked her, the sex was good we had a good relationship. We went for 6 months without a slightest problem in the relationship, but come september i moved to thailand.
Id warned her at the start of the relationship i was going to move to thailand to train and fight thai boxing for 4 months, and i couldnt handle a long distance relationship, so it was kinda weird knowing we were going to split up when i went. The day came, we said our tearful goodbyes, split up and i set off for thailand. Heres the thing though, although "officially" we were split up, we never split up if you get me? We still messaged each other every day saying how much we loved each other, and it was ok for the first few weeks.
Then the problems started, she wanted me to spend more time talking to her than i wanted to as i was out here doing what i love, the arguments started and the cracks started appearing. Last night it came to a standstill, i told her i couldnt do this long distance thing anymore as i previously said before i came, and i wanted to properly break up. She told me id led her on saying we was going to get back together and she was heart broken. Now here comes the tricky bit.
Im not sure what im feeling, i thought there would be a massive weight off my shoulders now weve split properly and i can do my own thing, but i feel bad for hurting her, i spent most of the time out here thinking how much i wanted to be single again as the spark seemed to be lost a little bit, but now its actually happened i feel kinda numb, and not sure what i want, is this natural? This is my first girlfriend ive split with, im not too sure what im supposed to be feeling, i dont know whether its a sign i should get back with her or everyone feels like this, any advice? Thanks for reading

[xxazurexx]

You don't go back to someone and simply because you feel a twat for hurting them. People get over hurt eventually and they move on to greener grass.

I guess it is normal and after a relationhip ends and to question whether we did the right thing or the wrong thing.

I'd only go back if I was genuinely missing them and if my heart was still in it and I was wanting to try again to make it work.

You don;t mention that you still love her, etc, so i think I'd leave well alone if I was you.

[LissaP]

I understand why you feel bad. Long distance relationships are always hard. If you really want to get her back though, you can. I wrote an article entitled what things can i do to get my ex back. Search for it and take a read. I think you'll find some enlightening information.

[twinrexes]

I get the feeling you're pretty young. From my perspective (I'm 50 years old), 4 months isn't very long. But I remember when I was 23 and the man of my dreams moved 45 minutes away by car and I thought it was the other side of the world!

And yes, of course you're going to feel bad because even though you told her you were going to be leaving, the two of you got involved and developed strong feelings for each other.

Actions speak louder than words, as they say, and your actions told her that you were still involved even when things went long distance.

So the best thing right now is to just sit with your feelings for a while and let the dust settle. Don't suggest to her that you want to work things out because you may change your mind once you get past the initial pain of the breakup. If you tell her now that you want her to wait for you and then you decide you're happier without her, what have you done? Led her to believe you're a couple again and then dropped her all over again and broken her heart twice.

I would let her know you still care for her but don't want to hurt her and it's best that you two go your seperate ways for now. Then, when you return from Thailand, see if she still wants you back.

Take a deep breath and put it in perspective. Like I said in the beginning, 4 months is not that long. Even if she starts seeing someone else, 90% of rebound relationships don't work out so all you'd have to do is wait for it to die out and then swoop in and pick up the pieces! ;-0