advice for a man who doesnt know what to do

[danimal132]

a little back story:
i have been with my girlfriend for 2 years. we have lived together for almost the entire time and have been through a lot (hard time financially and some bad verbal fights.) about 3 months ago i cheated on her and she found out. we worked through it and are still together. I now live an hours away with no car (wrecked our only one and cant afford a new one now). not living in the same housr is harder. we get into a lot more fights. mainly about me not calling her or being a forgetful boyfriend. we are currently fighting and im not sure what to do. ive been sad for the past 2 days, so i think thats a sign that i cant be without her but at the same time want to buy a one way plane ticket to some where else and start over. im very confused. she says im not fighting for her and i can see that. what does that mean. is there hope for us. do i even want this to continue. i have also lost my virginity to her and was my first real relationship. but i know if that means anything either. hopefully this makes sense to some one. i want to be with her but i dont like the fights we have (i feel like their all my fault). ive never written for advice before (am a very closed person) so i dont know what to expect. i do love her. she is a very sensitive person with a big heart (which can be a double edged sword). i feel bad for her because she does love me so much. im just not sure my love measures up the same. ill stop rambling on now. hopefully some one has some good advice.

Thanks

[BreakingPoint]

In many ways, you sound like you're in the exact same state I was in a couple months ago. You're confused. That's clear to see. What the biggest problem is here, form my point of view, is that you're scared to leave her, and scared to let go of what you have. The fact you've cheated on her, and the fact you're not fighting for the relationship, shows that you're not in to this girl. You may well love her, and care for her, but you're not in love with her, and you don't honestly see a future with her. If you did, you would be doing anything and everything to prove to her that you're the right guy.

So ultimately, you just need to be honest with yourself. Once you're honest with yourself, you can make an honest decision on where to take this relationship.

[RdHrshyKss]

^^^ditto what he said

[RockNRoll]

You are attached to her because of your history, but you probably wouldn't have cheated on her if you loved her. She feels that you don't care enough.
Don't mess her around, if you are with her just because she was your "first". If it didn't stop you from cheating, it shouldn't stop you from being honest.