Advice Needed!

[crazygirl]

I have been with my partner for 8 years. Before we met he had been in a 10 year relationship with his first girlfriend. I on the other hand had been anything but monogomous. I went through some really terrible times, and was unable to commit to anyone, so I slept around. This difference in sexual experience has caused certain problems in our relationship, as sometimes he can't get out of his head visions of other guys touching me, he also feels insecure, and thinks that these other guys must have been better in bed than him.

I really love him. How can I stop him from thinking about the previous guys and feeling insecure?

[xxazurexx]

He needs counselling.

[crazygirl]

I am not sure I explained it too well. He has only slept with women he has been in love with, and finds it difficult to contemplate how I could have given myself away so easily. It is a lot my fault, because I then didn't want him to love me for being slutty, so I stop initiating sex.

[Neuro]

This is coming up after eight years of being together?

Was this a problem before? Is this a perpetual issue?

If not, there might be another reason why this is only surfacing after eight years... But what you had in the past and what he had in the past should not matter if you love one another. Especially not after eight years...

[crazygirl]

It is not the first time that it has come up, it kind of resurfaces every 6 months to a year. We just can't seem to find a final way to get over it. Which is why I have sort advice from here! We love each other very much, and are engaged, but have been postponing getting married/having children, and a lot of it is due to this.