Is it normal sleeping with dad?+Friends picking onme for it :(

[theSOUNDofMUSIC]

Well hi...I realize Im new and I see there are a lot of people here giving advice, I'll help give advice as well but I have a little wee problem...

OK well it started with my friends picking on me (Im 17 BTW) because I sleep with my dad...not sleep with as in have sex w/him but we sleep in bed together every night since my mom left when I was like, 10. so its been a while now. I never really thought a lot about it til lately.
And when my friends, infact my 2 best friends, found out they wont leave me alone about it like its crazy or something...they found out because my one friend (we'll call her Kate) got kicked out of her house being stupid. My dads usually pretty cool with letting friends sleep over and stuff as long as theyre not boys so I offered her my room so she could stay for a while...I wouldnt put a friend on the couch or anything...then she asked where I would sleep and i told her i sleep with my dad. I hardly use mybed.
Then they were like "eeew! WTF?"...i explained we dont do the nasty but they still think its gross...but i like it i dont know if i'd be able to sleep without cuddling with him. Its been so long Im used to it. But their reactions to it made me think about it more than i usually do...then they started prodding and asking other questions which I didnt answer so now theyre just harassing me...typical teenage questioning my normality i guess...but im honestly not sure here. They pick on that and how me and my dad are really "cuddly" together and the way we kiss, but less than the sleeping thing. they're awesome but sometimes just not helpful! :s

So since theyve been talking about it it feels like...i'm embarassed to say this..it feels like i'm just realizing a "crush" or something I've had on my dad...you know like when you dont realize you might have a thing for somebody til your friends see something and you start realizing it? Its like that. But im not sure if its ME or my friends getting to me...assholes...so "Kate" decided to stay with her BF...but it still bothers me, now they made me feel all weird about it.
so...

a) do you/do you know someone who sleeps with a parent when theyre older? do you think its "weird"...I mean my dad's not a pedofile (excuse my spelling!)...we're just really close.

b) the dad crush thing. Im VERY bad at getting over people I like a lot (I fall hard) and hes my dad. We live together, I cant just avoid him. Cant even sleep w/o him really. Ive been thinking I'll be 18 soon so I could wait til then but it would still be weird since...you know...hes my dad. I really dont know what to do about that to the point where I cant even form a specific question...just advice would be great. Especially from anybody who's by chance had a crush on or strong feelings for their mom/dad.

Sorry if it was long...I just like my daddy but hate being called "weird" and crap...thanks.

And this isnt love relationship based however...how can I make my friends SHUT UP/forget about it!?...w/o being rude of course.

[vashti]

Your friends are right; it is inappropriate for you to be sleeping in your father's bed. You are practically an adult.

I understand how it all started, but your father had the responsibility to ensure your independence by pushing you back into your own bed, and he was grossly negligent. He was supposed to encourage your growth, not allow you to remain in a child-like state.

I suggest you seek some counseling, and in the meantime, you should go back to your own room. You will need to learn to sleep on your own, just like a newborn baby does it. It may take a while to get used to it, but you can do it.

[hello1]

There is something seriously wrong with this situation, what was your father thinking? now you got sexual feeling for him? NO, you know this isn't normal and you need to sleep alone. Be an normal, healthy ADULT

[girl68]

Yes, it's abnormal. Go to your own room.

[VincenzoG91]

This is extremely abnormal and unhealthy. It's bad for you, because you have developed a weird and socially unacceptable behavior, one that will interfere with any future relationships until you stop. I guarantee that no boyfriend will ever accept you sleeping with your dad, even if it's non-sexual, and marriage would be completely out of the question. And it's bad for your dad. How is he supposed to ever be in a serious relationship again if his daughter needs to cuddle with him all night. Go get some therapy, and start sleeping in your own bed, before something even worse happens.

[theSOUNDofMUSIC]

mmmkay...so obviously the dominant response is "its abnormal"...well yeah I knew me liking him as more than dad was abnormal I meant the sleeping situation.

so I'll have to work myself into sleeping separate. maybe when I turn 18, sounds like a good goal mark...Cant do it overnight it'll take time since I'm like...phobic of sleeping alone. not literally, IDK if counseling is too drastic but maybe time is all I need...and a night light or something. pathetic but it is what it is...I dont want to hurt his feelings though ...oh well we'll work it out.

thanks guys^

[girl68]

I AM talking about the sleeping situation it is extremely abnormal.

[girl68]

Edit: you SHOULD do it overnight. You're not a baby, you're almost a grown-up.

[MerryH]

Don't wait until you're 18, or whatever arbitrary goal you set. You now realize it's a problem so do something about it now. If you keep putting it off, you'll never do it. And don't worry about hurting his feelings. He's doing the wrong thing and I'm sure he realizes it to some extent.

They pick on that and how me and my dad are really "cuddly" together and the way we kiss

Can you elaborate on the bolded part, please? How do you kiss?

[theSOUNDofMUSIC]

yeah...we kiss each other goodnight/good morning and sometimes at random or just to say goodbye/hey.
As for 'how' we actually kiss we dont do any gross kissing or making out tongue Frenching (GOD,no!)... we do kiss on the lips which is what they make fun of. He also kisses my forehead, neck, hand, etc., places where parents kiss their kids...

I know that lip thing might sound wrong but really its not as wrong as it sounds I swear...well at least I dont think it is & neither does he. My friends make fun of it like we kiss like a couple but we dont...they exaggerate. Its really innocent.
IDK how to describe it really so here's a pic ...ok the link didnt work...

h-t-t-p-://-ww-w.islandcrisis.net/wp-content/uploads/2010/04/kiss.jpg
(ignore the dashes before the www)

see? no tongue its just a kiss.
IDK maybe they're just jealous because theyre not as close to their dads.

[vashti]

He kisses your neck?

Are you trolling?

[MerryH]

we do kiss on the lips which is what they make fun of. He also kisses my forehead, neck, hand, etc., places where parents kiss their kids...

Hmm. Nope. Those aren't normal places for parents to kiss their kids (with the exception of the forehead, I guess?). Maybe when they're young children, sure, but not when they're practically adults. Your father is crossing some pretty serious boundaries. Is there anyone at your school that you can talk to about this, like a counselor? I don't mean for you to go try to get him into trouble or anything, but I think you should go to a responsible adult with this so that you can get some feedback on what is and what is not acceptable parent/child relations.

[girl68]

Do you understand that that is a WEDDING PICTURE? that's a romantic kiss- there is nothing innocent about it between father and daughter.

Your friends are making fun of you because they have *normal* relationships with their father. Trust me, they are NOT jealous of you. Also, parents do NOT kiss children on their necks- no mam, they don't.

You don't think it's wrong because you know nothing different. I suggest you talk to your school counsellor I believe your dad is making you think there's nothing wrong so you don't speak to someone because everyone knows you have an unhealthy relationship with your father.

[theSOUNDofMUSIC]

well I could go to Ms. Trung (counselor) but yeah I dont want to start trouble over it especially since he isnt doing anything to me. If i asked him to stop he would its not like he's forcing it on me in some pervy way, I kiss him too.
I think thats just the thing, he still treats me the same way he did when I was little like that. I mean i may be getting old (lol) but i'm still his daughter.

& Ive seen parents kiss their kids on the lips before and hands like, once...not the neck but he doesnt like give me hickies or anything just a peck or something...jeez o_0...but youre right these are mostly little kids ive seen.

[girl68]

See, you already *THINK* he isn't doing anything wrong and we're all telling you... yes, he is!