Saying goodbye over and over (Long Distance Relationship)

[Missie]

I have been in my current relationship for a little over 2 months, but we have been "talking" for a long time before that. (he didn't actually ask me until he came to visit on my b-day). Once in a while he comes to visit me, which is that best time ever. We spend all of that time together. We do everything we can together and go on little dates, watch movies, cuddle and just have fun. But then he has to go back to NY, and i have to say goodbye again. With his work schedule it is impossible to know when he will visit next ( and i am unable to go to him at the moment). For example, this weekend he came to visit for the second time since he saw me on my birthday. We tried to plan many other weekends, but it didn't really work out because of his schedule.
It seems to bother me more when he stays longer. I get so used to being around him, and doing little things like having a tickle fight or something. The other day we went to the museum and walked around and went to this waterfall and took pictures together. It was so romantic really, something we don't really get to do. Then he has to go and i feel like crying, every time. I know he is going to come back, just don't know when.
This weekend, he stayed for 4 days, the time before that he stayed just 1 night. That one night i didn't want him to go and i was sad but not as sad as him leaving after 4 days. I am really happy he came to visit and we had so much fun, but i'm still sad to see him go. I have to say goodbye over and over, and it hurts a whole lot. What makes things worse is that we can't video chat and see each other, which would make it a little easier.
I was in a LDR once before, he never came to see me due to other circumstances, but the video chatting made it a lot easier.

i apologize if this post is a little all over the place, but I just want to know how to deal with having to say goodbye for long periods of time, over and over.

[MerryH]

Maybe you just need to change your outlook about it. Instead of "goodbye," why not try to think of it more like "See you soon." Don't make it a huge dramatic deal every time.

Why can't you video chat?

[Saya]

Why can't you go and see him? Also why can't you video chat ?

[indr]

If u really love him and if u r ready then marry him

[Missie]

I can't visit him because it is really hard at the moment since i don't have much money and with college. After the semester ends I might be able to go see him, that is if my parents don't make a big deal. We can't video chat because he doesn't have internet anymore, not that he uses it much anyway.
I guess i do need to change my outlook on it.
the main thing about me going to see him, is the bus ticket( even though he has said he will pay for it, even though i don't want him to) and that i would only be able to stay for a day, at least when he comes to visit me i can get my homework done and he can stay longer.

[doppelgaenger]

I was in a LDR for two years so I know the pain you talk about. Going to the airport and traveling halfway around the world to see her got me all excited and I couldn't wait. Leaving her was very difficult and I always had a lump in my throat. It's pretty difficult to have a relationship like that because you don't get to spend a lot of time together - every time you are with each other, you go through the honeymoon phase all over again.

After all, you really don't know what you have until it shows up missing. I don't think most people in typical relationships really understand the intrinsic values of their relationships when they see their lover every day. It's the complete opposite with LDRs, sometimes even so opposite, that your overidealize that person without realizing how they really are - and then when the LDR becomes just a relationship - with cohabitation, sometimes you realize that you're completely incompatible.

Anyway, there really isn't any way to eliminate the pain or realization of departure/separation. You can try to minimize it and everything, but eventually you'll just get used to it and accept that as a condition of your relationship.

[Missie]

I was in a LDR for two years so I know the pain you talk about. Going to the airport and traveling halfway around the world to see her got me all excited and I couldn't wait. Leaving her was very difficult and I always had a lump in my throat. It's pretty difficult to have a relationship like that because you don't get to spend a lot of time together - every time you are with each other, you go through the honeymoon phase all over again.

After all, you really don't know what you have until it shows up missing. I don't think most people in typical relationships really understand the intrinsic values of their relationships when they see their lover every day. It's the complete opposite with LDRs, sometimes even so opposite, that your overidealize that person without realizing how they really are - and then when the LDR becomes just a relationship - with cohabitation, sometimes you realize that you're completely incompatible.

Anyway, there really isn't any way to eliminate the pain or realization of departure/separation. You can try to minimize it and everything, but eventually you'll just get used to it and accept that as a condition of your relationship.

I think i know what you mean about the not knowing what you have until it's missing. In reality I care for him more than i have anyone else i have been in a relationship with. It takes strong people to be in a LDR. Not being able to see him everyday makes me not take him for granted and appreciate what i have more.