Trying again with my ex gf

[theplastickid]

Hello all, Im new to this forum but need some guidance from someone so here goes...

My and my gf split after 2 years about 10 months ago, it was the hardest thing to do for both of us. We both have been unable to get over it so I am trying to make things work with her again.

She says she would like to start seeing me again any see if it can work but whenever I am with her she pushes me away in several ways. Its frustrating and hurtful and while im trying to make things better it makes it a million times more difficult.

A typical example will be: when we first got together and when we were together she would text me frequently, if i dropped her home she would text "thanks for the nice evening" etc. Now when I drop her home I do not hear from her at all, the next time I hear from her is when I send her a text a few days later and even then all I get is a response, no real conversation.

When she is around me she flirts a lot and tries to get me to interact with her in a sexual way and then stops me and tells me sorry I cant, even after her initiating it (this is a common occurrence). I am convinced what she is doing when she does this is her way of controlling me with sex, I think it makes her feel powerful and in control.

I am trying my absolute best to be genuine and lay my feelings on the line to her and to be taken seriously but it seems all she does is ignore me and push me away.

I am really stuck for what to do.

Should I continue to see her and feel hurt the whole time that she is rejecting me?

Should I stop seeing her and not give her a reasons?

Or should I stop seeing her and wait for her to ask why and then present my reason?

I really need some advice.

Thanks People.

[damn2010]

How old are both of you?

[theplastickid]

22 (me) and 19

[xxazurexx]

Still young then.

Why don't you have a word with her and tell her what you told us. The key to making things work, is communication.

[theplastickid]

If i bring up anything that has anything to do with her behaviour I striaght away get told im paranoid and I am putting a downer on the whole thing and if it doesn't work it will be my fault for bringing up such things as my feelings...

[xxazurexx]

Then she is insensitive to your feelings and you don't have a very understanding gf. Why would you want to be with a female who possesses these traits?

At 19 she sounds way too immature to be in a relationship, but that isn't surprising given her age.

If you don't communicate like adults do, then it's doomed.

[theplastickid]

I completely agree with you but I am not too sure what to do about it. I would love to make it work and I have been honest about my feelings to her in an adult way but it is doomed.

[xxazurexx]

^Plenty more females out there - she may be your first love, but I can guarantee you this, she won't be your last.

[theplastickid]

Shes not my first love, but I do love her more than my first.

[RockNRoll]

Why did you split up? Did you solve that issue?
By the way she acts and responds, I wouldn't know that she wants to make you relationships work.

[xxazurexx]

Shes not my first love, but I do love her more than my first.

If she's not prepared to listen to you or take your feelings into consideration, then she aint worth your time of day.

You asked what you should do. You can't talk and discuss this and because she pushes you away. So the next best thing is to end this relationship, then she might listen to you.

[RockNRoll]

Why did you split up? Did you solve that issue?
By the way she acts and responds, I wouldn't know that she wants to make you relationships work.

[theplastickid]

Why did you split up? Did you solve that issue?
By the way she acts and responds, I wouldn't know that she wants to make you relationships work.

We originally split up because she went off to university and made no effort to make our relationship work then despite all my effort of going to see her etc... granteed it was hard for her she was under a lot of stress and she apoligised and admitted she was in a bit of a bad place mentally. So was just a bad situation for us both really, because it was so trivial and we were BOTH so heartbroken at the time I thought it was worth giving it another shot.

She has said to me she is terrified of being in a relationship again because of the heart ache etc but still the thought that she likes to have me under her control like a lap dog out weighs this.

Side note: Like is said above she never texts me... but she did sign up to twitter a few days ago and showed me the hundreds of endless back and fourth tweets shes made a random stranger who added her.

[RockNRoll]

Maybe she wants to learn you a lesson or get control over you, I also feel like she wants to make a lap dog from you. That's why you need to be firm here. Tell her, how it all feels and stop it, unless she wants to communicate and treat you better.