Scorpio man and Gemini woman (classic case)

[Snolla]

Here's the situation:

This girl came up to me 3 months ago at the college I go to and she was very interested in me and what I do. She is a musician and so am I so we initially hit it off with our similar taste in music and jamming together. We got closer and we have had sex a few times and hang out a lot.

Now she refuses to embrace me as her boyfriend however when I agree to that and try to walk away she gets very upset. She wants me to be able to love her without intimacy before we can ever be together and honestly she keeps it up in the air that we may never be together but can be good friends if we choose to be. She is 19 and I'm 22. She has had boyfriends in her life since she was 14 and I've been alone since I was 17.

I feel like I'm ready for a relationship and that having someone intimately in my life would be nothing but a good thing. She however believes that she needs time to find herself because she just got out of another bad relationship. I'm ok with that and I tell her to travel the world like she wants to and do what she needs to do. Here's the problem: She wants to keep hanging out with me in private, she still tries to kiss me once and a while but I can't kiss her back, whenever I make a decision to do something that doesn't involve her then she gets upset, whenever I try my best to let go of how much of my heart I've already given her she gets upset because she thinks I'm putting up a wall and distancing myself from her. She acts like my girlfriend without allowing me ANY intimacy and this has gone on for 3 months now back and forth battling for control.

It causes me far to much pain to have this beautiful girl who has a lot in common with me to hold me in this position. Her excuses for not being with me on the level I want is that she just got out of a two year relationship, she needs closure with her ex boyfriend (not even her recent one... the one before that), and the biggest thing that she says to keep me from leaving her entirely is that we both need to learn to be happy alone before we can make someone else happy and that once we do we may form a bond that is unbreakable.

That last one sounds like truth however are man and woman really suppose to interact this way? She tells me she loves me but she still can't be with me on an intimate level. Now I'm stuck because I want to be with her and everyday it gets harder for me to get out of this because I give more of my emotion too her. Is she honestly wanting something true with me or is she trying to suck the life out of me?

I also haven't had much of a sex life since I was 17-18 and I try to tell her this. She has had intimacy in her life solidly throughout the last 10 years but I haven't and I have needs too. It's easy for her to go without sex but it's not for me and when I confide myself more and more into her then I don't feel comfortable looking for sex elsewhere. I don't feel like I can meet other women right now because this one keeps reeling me in and then putting up a wall until we're "both happy and strong and know ourselves first. She says I make her happy and that's all that matters.

And what makes it even worse for me is I know she is a good person. I know she has a lot of love in her heart and she has suffered a lot in her life. Her father and older brother left her when she was young and it leaves me wondering if she is looking for platonic love vs intimate love to fill that gap and she is looking for that platonic love from me. How is a stranger like me suppose to give that to her especially when I'm damn near desperate for someone to love someone on an intimate level? I want intimate love and she wants platonic love but and we just battle over it. This is soo messed up. I've never been in a situation like this one. I've had my heartbroken recently too and this is scaring me. That I'm just leaving myself out there to be hurt. I dunno.

Honestly I don't know what is going on our what to do. What do you guys think? Please ask me questions if you want because I don't know if I clearly explained the situation and the better you guys understand then the better advice you can give.

[VincenzoG91]

She doesn't love you, she just wants to own you. If she loved you, she would want you to be happy.