Ha, don't really know why I'm posting this

[Incognito]

Ok, so I have been deliberately avioding LF for a week or so now. Maybe I'm going against my better jugdement now because I've had my fair share of beer an vodka tonight? Anyway I had the good fortune of meeting one of the most amazing women ever, period. We met online, and our talking became frequent and we even planned to meet. The timing was all wrong though. Mainly because I'm still married and she is still in a relationship (albeit a dead one). 14 days, and it was a wild ride of emotional extacy and powerful hope. Unfortunately my calculating side dominated my romantic side. Right now we are in 'no contact' because I felt that we shouldn't meet until we had our situations straightened out (which she agreed with me on). Reality sucks balls. Big fat hairy ones.

I felt like my soul was being crushed when we started our no contact status. She said that she deleted all of the pictures she had of me and asked if I would do the same. I did, out of respect for her wishes, but it was hard. Her smile is amazing, and her eyes are so beautiful that you could get lost looking into them. She seemed to be closer to being my "other half" than my wife, and I was already planning how I was going to approach life with her by my side. <<<That was definitely my romantic side..... Who knows how much of what we felt was infatuation and projecting rather than love and true chemistry? It felt so right though.

I hope that she is alright, and that she is faring better in her situation. Its funny that sometimes the hottest flames burn the quickest. Although we didn't get to meet I felt that just the emotional aspect of what we had going on was very "hot". No matter what happens I will never forget her, and I wish her to be happier that she ever thought possible.

What is weird is that I was posting how sad I was on Facebook and my exgirlfriend sent me a message asking me to call her. She said that she had been having a really low point lately and that we should talk to each other to cheer each other up. I politely declined while breifly explaining my situation (very breifly). She sent me another message a day or two later saying that she hoped that I would call, but I politely declined again.

I swear, life is one kick in the cojones after another.....

[Confused81]

Why are you still married????

[Incognito]

I really don't want to get into that right now. It will suffice to say that my reasons are valid and personal. I explained this to her.

[misombra]

i have a feeling your life will be a series of this same situation over and over again.

[smackie9]

Everything looks greener on the other side of the cyberspace fence. Most of that "chemistry" is made up of by your own imagination, fueled by fantasy. Being in a dead relationship is an excuse used my many that are just bored with their relationship. Like many women in her position, they go and find attention from a stranger or strangers. We've all have heard of attention whores right? I bet she has no real intention of leaving her BF, she's just toying with the idea, and when it comes down to crunch time, there's a good chancel she will bail. If it was as dead as she says it is she would have ended it a long time ago. People have these emotional internet affairs as an escape from their real problems. You are still married because ditching the wife, family and home for some stranger on the net you have known for less than a month, is a lot to toss away. There's too much fear and uncertainty, because there is no guarantee this affair will work out. You need to stop and take a step back. Why are you doing this? What is lacking in your marriage to make you turn to the net for attention? What are the real issues? Before you make a huge mistake, try working on the issues in your marriage. Seek couples counseling, work on communication. If all that fails, then ask for a divorce.

[Confused81]

Yep seriously.... stop and take a good hard look at yourself, your situation and take a while to ponder on it..... your falling into the internet "love" trap that so many get fooled by.

[RdHrshyKss]

Everything looks greener on the other side of the cyberspace fence. Most of that "chemistry" is made up of by your own imagination, fueled by fantasy. Being in a dead relationship is an excuse used my many that are just bored with their relationship. Like many women in her position, they go and find attention from a stranger or strangers. We've all have heard of attention whores right? I bet she has no real intention of leaving her BF, she's just toying with the idea, and when it comes down to crunch time, there's a good chancel she will bail. If it was as dead as she says it is she would have ended it a long time ago. People have these emotional internet affairs as an escape from their real problems. You are still married because ditching the wife, family and home for some stranger on the net you have known for less than a month, is a lot to toss away. There's too much fear and uncertainty, because there is no guarantee this affair will work out. You need to stop and take a step back. Why are you doing this? What is lacking in your marriage to make you turn to the net for attention? What are the real issues? Before you make a huge mistake, try working on the issues in your marriage. Seek couples counseling, work on communication. If all that fails, then ask for a divorce.

i agree with a decent amount of what you said. when two people have baggage like that, there is no real way of telling what's reality and what's fantasy.

incog has a pretty good head on his shoulders though. his input on this forum is pretty amazing sometimes and he's always come across (at least to me) as being a realistic person. i don't necessarily agree with him and his reasons for staying with his wife...and i think misombra's comment speaks volumes. but i wouldn't go so far as to say that he'd be easily swept away by a person like you described...i think he'd figure out the bullshit pretty quickly if attention was all the girl was after.

but the point is that he is no longer in contact with her...and if his feelings for her were as strong as he is describing, that must have taken A LOT of effort. now if only he'd use that effort and brains to get OUT of his shithole marriage...