WHY on earth would he do this?

[Crushed_velvet]

There's this guy i adore in my office and we've worked together for about a year now. I'm going through a divorce now but I've been moved out on my own for a while. He has been there for me when no one else has. We're the best of friends but there's always been sparks there. He means the world to me. We go out and joke about being married because everyone assumes we are. He takes me to dinner and movies and this year he invited me to go home with him for thanksgiving, as a friend ofcourse. So I got there and his ENTIRE extended family was there an they thought we were dating, he never once corrected them! We watched movies together in bed and cuddled but never anything more than G-rated. He didn't kiss me or anything.

In front of his parents he asked me to join them again for Christmas. They were so excited and they expect me to visit before then too. So after 4 days at their house he took me home, I asked him if the divorce was his only reason for not really dating me. He said that and work. Then he left. It was awkward and horrible. I know he has feelings for me, but I don't understand why he's holding back!

My question is, why would he let our friends and family and coworkers think we are together but he won't actually date me? Why introduce me to mom and pop and lead them to believe we're together?
Why put in so much effort without going for it? I didn't ask him to marry me for Gods sake, I asked him to date me! Why would he be so happy to play pretend but doesn't want to take a real risk? He expects me to do that again over Christmas?!! What is going on here?

[warriormaiden]

The first thing that came to my mind was gay.

[despicable14]

hmmmm...for me, as a guy, i think he's only thinking what's best for the two of you...especially you coz he knows that he loves you but the thing there is that he's not the kind of guy that suddenly date his bestfriend ..... and the very thought of that is that he's doing the right thing coz he knows that you we're divorce..it's against GOD's Law then eh.....that's what just i think...hehehe

[Geico Pig]

Honestly, if it was me, I'd be worried about being your rebound guy, in addition to the fact that you are still going through the divorce. Maybe he just wants to be sure you really like him before taking the next step.

[despicable14]

yah....he's right......he really wants to make sure that you really like him ^_^

[Confused81]

Awww I know exactly how you feel!!

My partner and I have been together for a year and a half. We were best friends before that (he was also my boss) for about 3 or so years. We both knew there was something there but were such good friends (and the company prohibited it) that we didn't want to ruin it by getting together, even though we talked about it etc etc.

Well we had a big party at the pub for my birthday last year and I sat him down when I was absolutely blind and yelled at him, I said "are you to stupid to realise that I'm in love with you?" at the top of my voice in the pub carpark. (we'd been kicked out at closing time) A few of his mates told him that night after we'd gone our seperate ways that he either needed to be with me or never see me again, his response to that was "I can't do either, I love her and need her in my life but if it doesn't work out she's gone for good". 3 months later (yes it took another 3 months) we finally decided to go for it. I'm the happiest I've ever been in my life, we've just bought a house together, and we're planning on getting married :o)

Moral of the story - hang in there, if this guy likes you as much as you like him things will work out in the long run.

Unless he's gay......

[Rminhammer]

Probably just to impress his peers lol