Friend Zone or Interested?

[macuser5417]

This is going to be long, but I sure could use some help.

I have this friend who is a female who I've known since grade school. We are in our 2nd year of college and wound up in the same class. She sits directly in front of me and we speak daily during class. Since we started the class we do things together quite frequently (nearly every weekend). Things from concerts, to our high school football games, etc. Sometime with other friends sometime just us. Anyway, as you can tell from the title I've developed romantic feelings for her since we've been hanging out frequently.


She gives off all sorts of mixed signals:

Talking to me about other guys (usually in the form of "So I'm talking to this guy from...")
She tells me multiple people have asked her if we are dating and she says we're just friends.
She is always flirty.
She has told me a few times that I'm "in her bubble" but doesn't move away or anything.
When at concerts/football games/etc and it is crowded it usually doesn't seem to bother her that we are touching, but sometimes she will tell me to move over.
There was this one girl who I did not get along with because she thought I was a smart-*** and that I knew everything and she told her "well he does own his own business, so he knows a lot more than you"

On one trip we, her sister and her sister's "friend" (another male) went to a concert. It wasn't officially "double dating" but it sure felt like it to me.

Most recently, She, my cousin and I went to a HS football game then a concert over the weekend and we spent two nights in the same hotel room. She in one bed, me in another, and my cousin in the pull-out bed. Anyway, she seemed perfectly normal but tended to back-off from her normal "friendliness" and seemed to flirt with both of us and playfully punch me and name calling. During the trip we went to Wal-Mart and the clerk made a comment about her buying hand warmers and said "He could just snuggle with you and stay warm" (referring to me) and she just laughed and said not likely. Then the clerk said something about "just wait until you have kids, and she didn't respond at all. It was somewhat awkward. The day then went on as normal. There were also a multitude of dirty jokes made. At one point she told us "You just want to see me naked don't you". I said, "Don't make me lie to that question" and she just laughed.


Anyway, what are your opinions? I want more than a friendship, but at the same time, If rejected I don't want to lose the friendship as she is really close.

[MerryH]

Eh, sorry, but those don't seem like mixed signals to me. Aside from her being flirty (which you might be misinterpreting), nothing you posted makes it seem as though she likes you in that way.

But I mean, go for it. Ask her out on a romantic-type date. Don't make it a big deal or pressure her about it. If she says no, continue as if it never happened.

[sarahprincess]

To me it sounds like 'just friends' as well. I have a sister who flirts with every guy she knows too, because she likes the attention. Though if a guy takes it wrong, she'll back away and find other guys who she thinks dont like her in that way. I would advise not to do anything or most likely it will be weird between you two.

[macuser5417]

OK. Thanks. I was just figuring we were close enough that if she didn't feel the same way we could just continue on as if it never happened. Is that being too optimistic? Also, when you said romantic type date what do you mean? What could I do to get the point across, as we already are around each other a lot on weekends, including by ourselves.

[MerryH]

You probably won't have any trouble continuing as friends if she doesn't feel the same way, as long as you don't make it a big awkward deal. Don't come right out and say you have feelings for her. This will probably make the rest of your interactions weird. She'll start wondering if she's sending you the wrong signals, she might pull away, etc. So just casually ask her out, like "Hey, can I take you out to dinner on Friday? Just you and me, like a date." or "My cousin's birthday party is this weekend. I want to bring you as my date. Want to come?" Saying "no" to a date is much less traumatic for the both of you than her saying "no" to your feelings for her, know what I mean?

[girl68]

Don't say anything about your feelings. Trust me, they are NOT reciprocated. And no, you're not comfortable or close enough to have you spill the beans and have her reject you.... AWKWARD.

So please just attempt to distance yourself a bit ad get over the feelings.

[macuser5417]

Ok. Thanks. I appreciate the input.