signs of bad temper?

[rachel2]

hi everyone,
so me and my boyfriend have been together about 9 months..one of the things I really liked about him when I met him was he seemed so gentle type and never hurt a fly type of guy (not a wimp, but just peaceable,) you know. anyways as time's gone by, he's never lost his temper towards me but he has told me about fights he's gotten into..I was surprised because he seems so mellow, but some of the altercations he got into seem a little much, like decking someone because they cut ahead of him in line, etc.
then i found out, to be more specific he had an assault charge but he said it was their fault..
he told me once someone called the cops on him, a past roommate because he started yelling (its hard for me to picture him that mad..he's so gentle with me)

i have never really done anything to make him mad,..there have been a few times though that I wanted to discuss an issue with him, just relaitonship type stuff that is good to talk about, he didnt get mad at me, but he kinda avoided any deep discussion, he seemed uncomfortable and like he just wanted me to be quiet..it didnt get too far, i coudl see he didnt want to talk much about it so I would drop the issue

i guess he loses his temper w/ other people but not me,

[Gratedwasabi]

He sounds like a sweetheart to you, not sure what you're concerned about? The assault charge isn't anything to worry about necessarily. I'm assuming he wasn't actually taken to trial and convicted type of thing? If so, it might be something to delve more into.

Guys fight with other guys sometimes. It happens.

If he's never had an violence towards women or towards you or around you, I wouldn't be concerned.

[MerryH]

Eh, I'd be a little concerned. It's hard to completely trust someone who has repeatedly flown off the handle. I'd be mortified if I had to witness him going nuts on someone for silly nonsense. And the fact the he blames his assault charge on someone else is also a bad sign. He can't even take responsibility for his part in assaulting someone. His temper is probably always "someone else's fault." I don't like that.

[Gratedwasabi]

Eh, I'd be a little concerned. It's hard to completely trust someone who has repeatedly flown off the handle. I'd be mortified if I had to witness him going nuts on someone for silly nonsense. And the fact the he blames his assault charge on someone else is also a bad sign. He can't even take responsibility for his part in assaulting someone. His temper is probably always "someone else's fault." I don't like that.

I did somehow miss the "decked someone for just cutting in line" thing, makes me a little more suspicious. Did he tell you the details of the assault thing? If not, he should. Not just "someone else's fault."

[rachel2]

hi thanks for replies,
grated wasabi, your right, he is a sweetheart to me, i kind of felt guilty just even for posting this..he never did anything towards me in time we've been together, i was just the other day, he mentioned he felt like smacking this guy at work (even though he didnt end up doign it) it was a comment after another comment he made about decking a guy, i was just wondering about it, now I feel sort of badly that I brought it up, he's never shown me that side