Urgent Dilemma!!!

[jakki2903]

Thanks for all that respond.

My boyfriend is going to some girls 25th birthday party at a night club this friday. Now I've never heard her name mentioned. He is going with two other of his boy mates. Now my problem, is that he has not invited me - not that I would wanna go, but as his girlfriend, should he still be going out like this without me??

On the two occasions I've seen his girl mates he has not introduced me as his girlfriend???

HELP need urgent opinions.
Thanks

[KirstyM]

Your only problem is insecurity. If I remember correctly you havent even been together very long, so just relax and trust him.

[jakki2903]

Your only problem is insecurity. If I remember correctly you havent even been together very long, so just relax and trust him.

I am insecure and he knows it, but why would he not invite his girlfriend??

[KirstyM]

I am insecure and he knows it, but why would he not invite his girlfriend??

Ask him??

Maybe he just wants a night out with his friends or thought you wouldnt be interested. I'm sure you go out with your friends without inviting him.

[jakki2903]

Ask him??

Maybe he just wants a night out with his friends or thought you wouldnt be interested. I'm sure you go out with your friends without inviting him.

Yeah sure I do, but not to some blokes birthday party.
Plus he goes out every friday with his mates, so I can't see why he wouldn't invite me. If it were just a boys night I wouldn't have an issue - it's the fact it's some girl I don't know and may never know and it bugs me.
He phoned me at half one the other morning and said 'so have u cheated' - I said no course not and I paused then asked him 'did u cheat' he laughed and said yeah loads. Now he was pissed but it hurt, it's not something u should joke about!! He is very secretive with his mobile too - he never answers when I call, yet when I'm with him and someone calls him he answers like a flash!! I dunno what to do, what do you think??

Thanks for ur advice

[KirstyM]

Talk to him about it. You're insecure so you need to try remember that and put things into perspective and not overreact. But he needs to compromise too.

Why does it matter that its a girl you dont know? Even if you did know her, you wont trust her but you have to trust him. If he was bisexual, would you not want him going out with any friends at all?? He's already chosen you over her so dont worry about it.

[jakki2903]

Talk to him about it. You're insecure so you need to try remember that and put things into perspective and not overreact. But he needs to compromise too.

Why does it matter that its a girl you dont know? Even if you did know her, you wont trust her but you have to trust him. If he was bisexual, would you not want him going out with any friends at all?? He's already chosen you over her so dont worry about it.

Ok, I just spoke to him, and said that I really wanted to do something on Friday, was there anyway he could change his plans, he said, no he's really looking forward to it, I said, well can't I come and he said, not really it's tickets (you can buy tickets though) so I said, well we can get me a ticket can't we - then his step dad calls and he says he'll call me back, that was 10 mins ago. Now what do you think??

[abercromqt20]

just sit back and wait for him to call you back..... we will have to take it from there.

[KirstyM]

Ok, I just spoke to him, and said that I really wanted to do something on Friday, was there anyway he could change his plans, he said, no he's really looking forward to it, I said, well can't I come and he said, not really it's tickets (you can buy tickets though) so I said, well we can get me a ticket can't we - then his step dad calls and he says he'll call me back, that was 10 mins ago. Now what do you think??

I think you're stressing over nothing.

[abercromqt20]

well it's almost friday.... what's the verdict???

[demode1204]

Jakki,
From a mans perspective. I do not think your problem is insecurity in this case. I feel he is messing with someone else, Reason I believe that is cause first of all you say he doesnt answer his cell when you call. Second he introduced you to his girl mates and didnt mention to them you where his girlfriend HELLO thats not insecurity thats being sneaky and not wanting to get the word out that he has a girlfriend among his girl mates. And third he used the sad excuse that the party requires tickets. And that late night phone prank - that has bad news written all over it!

[kronos51]

Hmm, from another guys perspective I dunno if i agree with demode. It is something you need to talk about, but he could definitely just be insecure about losing friends over you. I had this problem at one time too, and it was hard to work through it, but it can be done.

This is just another possibility that is pretty likely, from my point of view.

[jakki2903]

Jakki,
From a mans perspective. I do not think your problem is insecurity in this case. I feel he is messing with someone else, Reason I believe that is cause first of all you say he doesnt answer his cell when you call. Second he introduced you to his girl mates and didnt mention to them you where his girlfriend HELLO thats not insecurity thats being sneaky and not wanting to get the word out that he has a girlfriend among his girl mates. And third he used the sad excuse that the party requires tickets. And that late night phone prank - that has bad news written all over it!

Do you really think thats the case? After he called me back he suddenly changed his mind and said he wasn't going - cos he knew I didn't want him to go. The reason he said he didn't want me to go was because he didn't want me to get the hump or jealous if his girl mates were all over him or something. He says he needs to work on his flat anyway, so I say well I can help you can't I and he says yeah ok, but I know he doesn't really want me too. So this morning I email him and say 'so u still want me to help tonight babe' and he hasn't replied - he usually responds straight away. He is gonna go anyway isn't he?? He says he'll never cheat but he keeps his mobile strictly away from me - he says he doesn't but when I went to help him last Saturday it was on the side, then I looked again and he'd moved it - why? Then yesterday I was helping him and he put it on charge, then all of a sudden it's off charge and back in his pocket !! I really think something fishy is going on??

[abercromqt20]

jakki..... i think the stat i learned in my one of my sociology classes was if you think your spouse is cheating on you, 95% of the time you are right. i know you aren't married to this guy but it's the same premise. i'm not saying that he is definately cheating on you, i'm just saying alot of times your feelings are right. be smart and keep your eyes open.

[joe schmoe]

I have to agree, from a male point of view it sounds to me like hes cheating on you and doing his best to hide it from you, my ex did the same to me, she wouldn't leave her phone unsupervised and it took one of my mates spotting her with another guy to click on... ditch him, move on, find someone who can be on a level with you and not play silly games