GF mentioned ex online

[mixology]

Hey guys, awesome site. Heres my situation:

My GF and I (of 3 months) had an arguement 2 weeks ago. She got really upset at her bosses at work and took it out on me,

which I did not accept. We resolved it and then hung out this weekend in which she said she was worried I would leave her after

the arguement. So, I just looked at her myspace (yes, she still has one) and her status the day after the arguement was "i will

always miss u." This, I am sure is directed at her ex fiance of 4 years (who is still her #1 friend on the site but do not contact

eachother anymore at all). They broke up in december because he cheated on her

and had baby with another women, who he is living with now. I started dating her in September. Should I say something to my

GF or let it slide? I like her and want to give her time to get over her ex (her first love). However, I will not waste my time if she

is going to be like this. She doesnt talk about him anymore but says when we first met she had feelings for him.

Advice? I just found out and am not sure what to do. Thanks.

[Gratedwasabi]

I'd go ahead and confront her about it. Enough time has passed for her to be getting over it, to some degree, and especially not writing love sick notes.

Sounds like she could probably use the confrontation. A "hey, I'm right here and he's gone. Pick." type of conversation might knock some sense into her.

[devonbrown]

You are assuming that she was referring to her ex, but she could just have easily been talking about a childhood pet which has passed away. The point is, you do not know and assuming anything just causes more problems.

If it bothers you that much, then ask her about it. If you can let it go realizing that it was probably just a passing thought, then that is probably your best bet. Relationships have enough challenges without trying to make more.

[mixology]

Im pretty darn sure it was her ex. so lets say that it definitely was. Don't you just have to give a girl time? You cant force her to get over someone. I think I should give her another month and see if i start to get strong feelings for her, because I do like her.

But if something does come up again, I'm not holding back.

[smackie9]

I have to sympathize with her....she had planned to spend the rest of her life with him, and he was her future only to have that smashed with him cheating on her. That's a tough thing to get over for sure. You know what, she will always hold a special place in her heart for this guy....so what. She is doing her best to move on (and she will) and start anew with you. It's just going to take some time and some understanding. You on the other hand should be showing her the best time of her life so she can forget about this d ouche.

[Zabrinah]

I think she needs more time as well. I also think she needs some distractions because she is already in a new relationship with you, her status really shouldn't be reflecting the past like that. However, this is where technology gets our relationships in trouble, I guess.

As long as you are there for her and trying to make this relationship work, there is nothing to worry about. Her feelings WILL fade because a relationship with that other guy is completely out of the question. Like, I said, distract her with your wonderful charm. Take her out, and don't dwell on the past. Live in the present and try to have a lot of fun!

[mixology]

thanks for the advice. I feel like the girls say give her time and my buddies are saying let her have it. But, I feel like she has been saying she has strong feelings for me but I've not really said how serious I am about her. I feel like i need to wait until I do have these strong feelings for her before I confront her. Because if she doesnt think Im going to stay with her, why wouldnt she think of her ex sometimes?

I wont put up with this something like this again, but I'm going to let it go for now.