Sweet one minute, rude the next

[trinkets]

I never ask for advice like this but I would really like some of your thoughts. I'll try to keep it short.

There's this guy, I've known him as an acquaintance for about a year. I see him around regularly but always in a group setting. We smile at each other from across the room and I have caught him looking at me many times (you know, the old "I glance at him, he's looking at me and he turns away really quick so I won't catch him looking" routine). We rarely have a one on one conversation. It seems like we talk to everyone else but each other. That's just how it's been, nothing more, nothing less.

A few weeks ago, we were in a group setting again, but this time he was flirty with me. He was trying to spend time around me, talking to me, trying to get my attention, even being sweet and attentive. Then two days later, we get into a mild argument. He started it. He made an issue out of a non-issue. It almost seemed like he was looking for a reason to be difficult with me.

So, the question is, what's up with that? Why would a guy go out of his way to flirt with a woman and then turn around and go out of his way to argue with her? What does it mean when a man does that?

[Zabrinah]

Haha. This is happened to me so many times! And it always confused me, too.

What I usually do is assume that he does not have feelings for me. If you start to believe he does without any concrete proof (like a date), then it may affect the way you act around him, and that's no good, especially if you two are prone to arguing. I suppose I would advise you to try not to over-think or overreact. See him as just another person!

Because you have caught him looking at you a lot, I think it is safe to assume that he finds you attractive. But until he shows that he likes you or asks you out, you cannot assume that he is attracted to you. It me a long time to distinguish the difference between guys that find me attractive and guys that are actually attracted to me. But, it is a HUGE difference. Simply be aware of it.

Have fun flirting if you are up for it. If you aren't, don't reciprocate.


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Author of the blog: How NOT To Fall In Love

[WICKED THOUGHTS]

Sent you a PM.

[Gratedwasabi]

So, the question is, what's up with that? Why would a guy go out of his way to flirt with a woman and then turn around and go out of his way to argue with her? What does it mean when a man does that?

It means he's a jerk. Sorry, we don't usually have the same secret-subplot that accompany women's actions. It's pretty straightforward. If we flirt with you we find you attractive, may or may not like you but we think you're cute. If we randomly start an argument, we're probably moody jerks. Or you annoy us. One of the two (or both.) Definitely not a secret "omg I really like her why won't she like me back" signal or anything, haha.

[Zabrinah]

Gratedwasabi is so right. Listen to him. That's how it goes!

[trinkets]

It means he's a jerk. Sorry, we don't usually have the same secret-subplot that accompany women's actions. It's pretty straightforward. If we flirt with you we find you attractive, may or may not like you but we think you're cute. If we randomly start an argument, we're probably moody jerks. Or you annoy us. One of the two (or both.) Definitely not a secret "omg I really like her why won't she like me back" signal or anything, haha.

I didn't think it was some secret plot. I don't think there has been anything secretive about either him or myself. It was what it was. I couldn't have been annoying him because the argument didn't have anything to do with me at all. He just started saying stuff to me about something neither one of us were involved in. I wasn't any where near him before the argument. That's why it struck me as odd. It just came from out of nowhere and I couldn't understand his attitude towards me.

[devonbrown]

Gratedwasabi is right. Men don't normally even think about what their actions mean before they do them. If you really want to know what was up with his actions, the only way to know for sure is to ask him. If you don't want to do that, then it is probably best to leave it be and move on.