are these signs he wants me back? or just sad?

[broken6]

Hi

My partner of 11 years broke up with me 4 weeks ago. He told me he no longer loves me last week. (i do not believe that) There were reasons to break up, mainly he felt under pressure about our future. and felt he needed to deal with himself.
so i asked him not to contact me as i need space to stop hurting. he has waited two days than sent me this msg last night

"I know i m not meant to msg you, but i just want you to know that i do miss you very much. It's a struggle to not call you or see you to tell you about my day. Out getting japenesse tonight....."

I did not reply and today he has sent me this msg (back story we had plans to go to a concert with friends this friday night)

"are you still coming to muse on friday? would you like me to bring a cd of their music over for you?"

i had to catch up with him yesterday afternoon to discuss moving out issues, money, cat, etc

While he was here he asked me how i was going with the alcohol. I did not know what he meant so asked him to explain. and he replied saying basically that he is drinking quite a bit each night. (he does not have a drinking problem, and never has) he seamed really sad, so i asked if he wanted to "talk" (as in about us) he than looked like he was about to cry. so i suggested that we should "talk" later. to which he just said yeah, later.

So i hope this means he wants me back!!!
or is it a sign he is just sad, because he feels it is over for ever?

[Radarsonar]

It's natural he misses you, but don't see this as a sign he wants you back. If he wants you back, he'll make sure you know he does.

Don't get your hopes up! This is the best thing anyone could tell you. And for the love of god don't take him back without question, he'll lose respect for you if you let yourself get used as a doormat.

[twinrexes]

I agree with Radarsonar, don't just jump back into things with him. He's very confused and clearly doesn't know what he wants right now. He's depressed and drinking and misses you but he hasn't asked to get back with you. HE was the one who initiated the breakup and says he doesn't love you anymore. Sometimes that feeling of falling out of love can come from missing the old chemistry you used to have when things were new. Or the thrill of the chase, as in when he was first courting you. Maybe you two fell into a routine and he felt he was in a rut. Maybe he's having a touch of mid life crisis or itching to see "what else is out there".

This breakup could be a good time for both of you to get a little space and perspective. It also gives him a chance to remember all the good things about you that attracted him to you in the first place and kept him by your side for 11 years. That's a long time and a lot of history. Let him sit with his feelings for now and don't try to make it all better or talk about it yet. Keep you conversations brief and best if you don't talk at all. He needs to figure out if this is what he really wants and that will require at least a few weeks, maybe months.

[smackie9]

They say a man may take up to 3 months to reconsider going back. So there's a chance he just needed to figure things out during the separation. Sometimes it's about the familiarity and comfort of being with that person they miss and not that they are still in love.

Take it one day at a time and don't push him. Have you noticed the more you ignore him the more he misses you?

[sweetkissesforu]

I agree with Radarsonar, don't just jump back into things with him. He's very confused and clearly doesn't know what he wants right now. He's depressed and drinking and misses you but he hasn't asked to get back with you. HE was the one who initiated the breakup and says he doesn't love you anymore. Sometimes that feeling of falling out of love can come from missing the old chemistry you used to have when things were new. Or the thrill of the chase, as in when he was first courting you. Maybe you two fell into a routine and he felt he was in a rut. Maybe he's having a touch of mid life crisis or itching to see "what else is out there".

This breakup could be a good time for both of you to get a little space and perspective. It also gives him a chance to remember all the good things about you that attracted him to you in the first place and kept him by your side for 11 years. That's a long time and a lot of history. Let him sit with his feelings for now and don't try to make it all better or talk about it yet. Keep you conversations brief and best if you don't talk at all. He needs to figure out if this is what he really wants and that will require at least a few weeks, maybe months.

very good answer

[cloudfa]

see if he wants you back even without sex. that will show you the truth