Am i being selfish?

[Bo]

My bf is coming back from cali on the 16th which is on a thursday, he's been away for over 2 months. i work all day so i won't really get to spend time with him til friday which is when my bestfriend decided today that she was going to have her baby's 1st bday party on that same friday. Now she's mad at me because i told her i will stop by for a bit but probably won't stay for long. Am i being selfish? It would be different if he'd been here the whole time but i haven't seen him in a long time and honestly, i'm not too thrilled about a baby's bday party...which she told me to bring him but i'm sure he would not want to go to a baby's bday party either. soooo...she's pissed and told me not to come. What do i do? This is crap!

I guess she feels like i always choose him over her and i have done that in the past..not over anything big but i guess it's different with her having a baby now. We can't hang like we used to....My parents recently hired her to work at my parents restaurant on weekends and i looks like now she doesn't want to be friends so it's putting me in a really sticky situation.

[VincenzoG91]

It's tough to maintain a friendship when you are at different stages in your lives. A bunch of my friends are now married with kids, so their priorities are really different from mine. We're still friends, but we aren't spending as much time together.

I think that your friend is being unreasonable. Her baby is more important to her than your boyfriend, but your boyfriend is more important to you than her baby. It's understandable that having a baby is a big deal to her, but that's her deal, not yours.

[Bo]

At the beginning when she first had her baby, we weren't getting along great because she felt like i didn't like her baby which isn't true. I just wasn't used to it. But she feels like i've always chosen guys over her which goes into a long trail of history between us. I've always kinda been the one on the outside..i never had a ton of CLOSE friends just her and i would hang out with her and her friends. Growing up i always felt like i was the SECOND bestfriend and probably the reason why i spend more time with my bf because he's only got one gf and that is me. Now that she's had her baby and everything she's learning that i'm the only one who has really stuck around for that even if ii spend more time with my bf. And she's pissed. So maybe i would come across as some as one of those girls who always chooses her bf over a friend but i've never been the friend of priority so why should i give up time with someone who does make me a priority from the start.

[VincenzoG91]

This might come as a shock to your friend, but the term "significant other" is generally used to refer to a boyfriend/girlfriend/spouse, not to the child of a friend. That's right, your relationship with your boyfriend is more significant to you than your relationship with your friend's child. And it's not like your friend's child is even old enough to speak yet. Your friend needs to get a grip. Her baby is never going to be more important to you than the guy that you love. This is probably her first kid, right? If this was like her third kid, even she wouldn't make that big a deal out of it.