Pretty Messed Up and Long Story

[Kid'sTable]

My relationship with this girl started a little over a year ago when i was a senior in college and she was a freshman. We were both on the track team together. A bout a month into the year I asked her out on a date and we sort of hit it off. We hung out a lot for about a month but never got physical as i have no "game" and she wanted to wait. Anyways after one night where we stayed up late talking some dude asked her if she was ready to date me. So, the next day she told me that she did not want to start a relationship with me that would likely end in may. She had just been through a tough breakup with her high school boyfriend. Anyways she was upset that i would not be her friend anymore. I said i would but only did so to keep trying to get her to be my girlfriend.

The next semester i got her to give me another shot and finally got my kiss from her. But after a few weeks again she shut it down and it turned out that she was still in love with that high school boyfriend. The next week at a party i walk in on her making out with a stranger at a party and i flipped out on her. We didn't talk for a week but it was the end of the school year and i did not want to graduate with any bad feelings towards people so i tried to mend things. So, we got along well for the last few weeks and went out to lunch and a walk before graduation as sort of our last hoorah.

When i got home we called eachother on the phone and talked online. She kept saying how important it was to her to keep in touch. Early on in the summer I had to make a trip down to school on the way to a trip and was there for a day and she took off work and met me there for the day. When i passed through on the way back again she took work off early and spent some time with me again. During this time my former coach had called me and asked if I wanted to come back as an assistant coach which was something that i was interested in doing. I couldn't turn down the offer first because it's hard to get your foot in the door and also so i could get another shot at the girl. However it would be more complicated as i would be her coach...

She was one of the first people i called when i accepted the job and she seemed excited that i would be her coach. I told her along with my other friend who i was coaching that i wanted to be their friend first and coach second. Anyways we didn't really talk the rest of summer as she was busy with work the week i was there to figure the coaching thing. So, i didnt see her untill the first week of practice. For the first part of this fall I kinda felt things out and didnt make any advances and only really talked to her at practice. Then late one night she texts me telling me that she misses parts of last year. When i asked what she ment by that she kind of blew it off and said she didnt want me to risk my job to talk to her in person. However a few weeks later during a long weekend i was running a race and she said she wanted to come with me. The race was 1.5 hours away so we probably wouldnt be seen. So we drive to the race and then go out to lunch afterwards. At lunch she tells me about how she likes this kid (the one who told her not to date me last fall actually) and has pretty much decided to be with him. I kind of pushed that aside and we had a great day. We are almost home and we see the sun setting and she suggests that we watch it set. So we do that and she starts talking about how well we get along together and how she wished that she was older and then could be an assistant coach with me and dateing me. The she asked if we could be friends still. I said "sure but is that all you really want?" She said she did want more but didn;t think it was possible with me being coach. Anyways i drop her off and she is tears saying that if she goes out with this kid she ruins thing with me. I go to be thinking i confused her.

The next day at a team function i see her texting and calling this other guy so i ask her afterwords if the previous day was our last hoorah and if she had made a decision about the other guy. She said she had. I was pretty upset after this.

However a few weeks go by and i find out that she and this dude never really worked out. I also have gotten her to come over to my apartment to hang out a couple times. And recently my gradmother got sick and died and she was there to comfort me without me asking her to do that.

So, this is my story. I hope it was as entertaining as it was long haha. My problem now is i have to decide if i should stay and coach another year. It is what i want to do and where i want to coach but i don't want to be teased by her for another year. Not to mention the fact that a relationship with her may not be possible with me being her coach(i think its ok because we had a relationship before i became her coach but who knows what the powers that be think). However, i can't help but think that she really cares for me and that someday things will work out. As much pain as she can cause me whenever we have been together we have had a great time and it is certainly not because of sex (we have only kissed that one time). Also if i do leave i don't want her to think that she was the reason i left, which she would be. People have told me to stop talking to her but as her coach i cannot do that and have to see her everyday. It is impossible to forget about her when i see her at practice eveyday.

Thanks for any help and for reading all of this.

[Kid'sTable]

bump

should have given it a more interesting title...

[Gribble]

No, you should have condensed it into one or two manageable paragraphs. Nobody sane is going to read all that.

[Kid'sTable]

Ill sumarise then. Met a girl on my track team when i was a senior and she was a freshman. We sort of dates for a month and she broke it off because she didn't want it to hurt so bad when i graduated and left. Then second semester we got back together for a little but she would never be my girlfriend. We kissed once and then a few weeks later she cut me off again saying that she was still in love with her high school boyfriend. She told him in the summer but he had moved on. The common theme of her breaking things off with me was that I was a great friend to her and that she wanted me to be in her life still. After graduating she called me pretty often and when I was driving through town in the summer on a road trip she took the day off from work to spend time with me. She did that on the way back. In the summer i was also hired as a coach of our track team so i would be her coach. This made our relationship pretty akward for a bit untill about a month into the season.

Late one night she texted me and told me she "missed parts of last year." When i later confronted her about it she kind of blew it off but then a couple weeks later i was going to run a race in Philadelphia and she offered to come with me. This would be the first time we hung out as she was afraid about me losing my job by hanging out with one of my athletes. Anyways we spent the whole day together and it ended with us watching the sunset and she told me how great we got along together and how she wished she was older and she would be living at the college and coaching with me. She then asked again if we could still be friends. I said "yes but is that all you want." She said no but was worried about me being her coach. She then said that she had already made a decision to be with this other guy. The day ended with us both crying. Her because she thought she might lose any chace with me by going out with this other guy and me because i was frustrated that she had feelings for me but would not be with me. Anyways the relationship with the other dude never worked out and we have hung out a few times since then (in secret). For example she comferted me when my gradfater passed away. My friends tell me that i should give her an ultimatum but i dont know how realistic that is as her coach.

So my problem is that I love her (I've told her) and have to see her every day. She seems to have feelings for me but is afraid that i wont be around and that she cant be with me anyway because I'm her coach and that is often looked down on (i think its alrgith because this started before i was her coach). But it is impossible to get over her when i know she has feelings for me and when i see her everyday. And now I have to decide if i should stay around for another year. My feelings for her are the only thing that would make me want to leave because i don't want to be living with false hope anymore and would like to move on.

[MerryH]

I don't know what her deal is, but what's yours? Why are you letting this girl jerk you around so much? It's like you're in denial about her not wanting you, because to anyone else, it's pretty clear that she doesn't want to be with you. She always has some excuse for not wanting to be in a relationship with you and has turned you down multiple times - why isn't that registering in your head? You should be a bit more upset that this girl strings you along and makes vague statements about her feelings for you.

Forget about your feelings for her, be professional (that means not pining for students you're coaching and certainly not dating them), and just do what's best for your life and career.

[Kid'sTable]

I'm letting her jerk me around because we both admit that all the time we have spent together has been fun and very little has been sexual. So, it may be a dream, but i feel that if she stopped thinking about things so much and gave in to her feelings for me we could have a great relationship. I do get upset with her when she does this to me and it would be much easier for me if I could hold a grudge against her but one of my flaws is that I'm a forgiving person. One of my best friends today is someone who at one point i hated and said some pretty bad things to me and my friends. I was able to discuss these things with him and while he can still be a jerk I've discovered that he is a good guy. And I have a hard time being angry with someone who is obviously confused. And as much i would love for her to be more than a friend she has been a great friend over the past year. She is always asking how I'm doing and there for me when I need someone to talk to.