Confused college kid with a confusing situation

[werdunloaded]

Hey everyone. I'm kind of new but I didn't really have anywhere to turn to figure this out. It's a pretty unique situation (from what I can tell) and I hope someone can help me decode what's happening here. I hardly even know where to start.

I'm 20, a male, and I'm in college. Me and one girl, who I think is nice and cute, kind of recently just hit it off last week. We're in the same class. We're not dating (yet, I guess) but this past Wednesday she said her parents are buying her a house and she wants me to live with her. That's when it got weird for me. We've been in the class for a semester (this being the last week) and we've only talked casually once or twice. Then on Wednesday she asks me this. I told her it would be financially smarter to get a house (which I believe but things were moving way too fast so I was just trying to slow her down). She doesn't want an apartment.

Now today in class she fixed my collar and I politely say "thank you." I told her I have a knot in my neck and asked if she knew any massage therapy (jokingly) and she started massaging my neck IN CLASS, which was really weird. Then I signal her to stop. Then she traces her finger along my back. Now I'm getting REALLY weirded out. We talked after class (casually, I didn't bring up the massaging or anything) and she followed me around all day. She kept hinting at people that we were going out and I was like, "wtf is going on?"

As we talked, I learned this is her first semester at the college but she already has her bachellor's (she's 22). She just moved here for college after graduating (which I have no reason why she's going to a community college now) and she just ended her relationship (in which she was engaged for 3 years).

So here I am a confused college kid. I'm happy that it's happening since I think she's really cute and nice, but i'm nervous and kind of stressed about it. What's going on here? I feel like I'm in an anime.

[Gratedwasabi]

As we talked, I learned this is her first semester at the college but she already has her bachellor's (she's 22). She just moved here for college after graduating (which I have no reason why she's going to a community college now) and she just ended her relationship (in which she was engaged for 3 years).

So here I am a confused college kid. I'm happy that it's happening since I think she's really cute and nice, but i'm nervous and kind of stressed about it. What's going on here? I feel like I'm in an anime.

She's projecting her past relationship onto you. Rebound. Not a good situation to get into.

Soooo I'd recommend talking to her and letting her know you're not sure what's going on between you two and you're not comfortable moving that fast.

[devonbrown]

It very well could be a rebound attempt by her. Communication is the key. If you want to slow things down, simply let her know. And if you are uncomfortable moving in with her, then definitely don't do it... That could be a relationship killer almost immediately.

[werdunloaded]

Thanks guys. I really appreciate the insight. I'll talk to her when I get the chance. I don't mind the idea of moving in with her (it's a free house!). It could be fun as I've always wanted to try the independent life (except it would be with one other person in this case), but it doesn't feel natural. I'm just afraid I'm thinking of this as "playing house" and not taking into consideration a number of factors that could go horribly wrong.

Thanks again.

[devonbrown]

The only other thing I would suggest is talking to her about moving in together as friends and roommates only for the time being. Separate rooms, separate bathrooms, etc. Keep the pressure off of any potential relationship down the line. You may have to write up a roommate agreement if you go this route, dividing up chores, making house rules, etc. That *could* be a middle ground which could be beneficial to both of you. However, you would have to be careful, because feelings from either of you without those guidelines could make the entire situation blow up.
Good luck.

[doppelgaenger]

DO NOT MOVE IN WITH HER. Trust me man, it will likely end in a disaster and you will be pretty much trapped with her. As GW said, she's using you as a rebound. You need to have a chat with her about all this. Tell her it's getting too weird, you don't want to end up as a rebound, and she's taking things way too fast. Be blunt and straightforward. You don't want to move in with her. Tell her if she's really interested in you, she'll give it some time to see if it will work.... like a year or so, and if things go pretty well, then you'll consider it. Otherwise you feel like you're just being replaced like a lightbulb.

You might save money, but after 4 years of college, let me say it's well worth forking out extra cash for a higher comfort level. I've also beeen stuck in a situation where I was staying with an ex (we were together at the time) and I had nowhere else to go. It really sucked. I'll never do that again!

[Boisdevie]

Way tooooo fast. Why is she doing this - doesnt' seem right.

[blent]

I would take advantage of this to be honest. It sounds like easy sex.

[werdunloaded]

DO NOT MOVE IN WITH HER. Trust me man, it will likely end in a disaster and you will be pretty much trapped with her. As GW said, she's using you as a rebound. You need to have a chat with her about all this. Tell her it's getting too weird, you don't want to end up as a rebound, and she's taking things way too fast. Be blunt and straightforward. You don't want to move in with her. Tell her if she's really interested in you, she'll give it some time to see if it will work.... like a year or so, and if things go pretty well, then you'll consider it. Otherwise you feel like you're just being replaced like a lightbulb.

You might save money, but after 4 years of college, let me say it's well worth forking out extra cash for a higher comfort level. I've also beeen stuck in a situation where I was staying with an ex (we were together at the time) and I had nowhere else to go. It really sucked. I'll never do that again!

Thank you for your advice. It sucks that this is the last week of school coming up and we'll only be seeing each other on Friday. Hopefully this blows over by then and she realizes what she's doing to herself. Otherwise, if she's still all over me, I'm going to need to talk to her about it. It's pretty frustrating that my first date in a while comes a long and it's just a fake one. I'm really glad I found this out now and not later.

What kind of time frame am I looking at for her to come to terms with her situation? I hope it happens in a week but I highly doubt it. I've heard that I should wait one month per year she was in the previous relationship (4 years = 4 months). Is this a good rule of thumb? I really think by then her boyfriend will be coming to take her back and everything will be alright (for her) in the end.

I would take advantage of this to be honest. It sounds like easy sex.

Thanks, but that's not the kind of advice I'm looking for. I'd be playing her game and it's not something I'm interested in doing to her.

[blent]

What is your interest? To get married? Go get laid you're 20 years old and in college.