Lesbian fantasies...

[confusedgirl.co]

I've done something terrible, twice.

A girl started work with me a year ago and we immediately became the best of friends. We very similar and I think she's wonderful! (how vain!!) She's 9 years older than me and so in a different place in her life- she's found her prince charming, got engaged and is buliding her dream house, while I'm still frolicking around being twenty-something. After one drunken night out 6 months ago, while sharing her bed (as we always did), things got very heated. She;s very affectionate and was cuddling me while i fell asleep and then we just started to touch each other and kiss etc...etc... We stopped and fell asleep before things got too heavy. I know she felt so guilty the next day, as did I, with her being engaged and us being straight!!! We put it down to drunkeness and us being a pair of crazies. I incidentally moved away a month later only to return home on holiday and do the same thing with her after a night out! the thing is, it's worse now as she is married, her mother is dying and she's going through a lot without this guilt on top. I feel terrible.
I'm an attractive girl and am used to men chasing me etc.. but with her, I was very much the one pushing things further physically. she wanted to talk about it the next day to put her mind at rest but I felt too uncomfortable and ashamed to do so so I kept diverting the conversation and making stupid jokes. Her husband/everyone who knows either of us would be totally shocked by this as we both LOVE men and do not fancy each other at all usually!

Please help!!

[Regnent]

eh, you don't need to be gay or even really bi to find yourself intimately desiring someone.
I wouldn't worry about labeling it so much.

I would advise talking to her about it, and since she's building a life, she may want to figure out whether this is something she should have in it.
It could be an exploratory phase and might pass, or it might not.

Personally, I think you two need to discuss the situation, and make some choices. Continue or not, and I would for sure discuss the husband aspect. While you're not direct competition, I would still label it as a potential issue.
And as much as it pains me to say, I would avoid involving her hubby in any fashion till you have some sense of what this really means to your, and your friend.

[confusedgirl.co]

Thank you so much for the advice. I think you're right, we do need to talk it out. But honestly this is not something I want to do again/ ever involve her husband in! I just want us to continue being best pals :-(

[Regnent]

Well, you've done it twice, so I don't think it's something you can just pretend didn't happen if you desire staying best pals.
I don't think you should be embarrassed or ashamed of it. Just figure out where you both stand.