It's a complete nightmare!!!!

[Missy_B]

I've posted before about my relationship but not for a few weeks. I desperately need some help!! Me & the boyfriend split up 3 and a half months ago. We've been through stages of falling out, being friends and then attempting to 'work on things' as he says. Since our last 'falling out' we've managed to get back on track a bit and we've been getting on better than we have before.
We went out for food last week and had a chat about our relationship. I basically said I wouldn't wait forever and although working on things is a good idea I think 3 months is long enough to make some sort of progress. He said he was 'scared that things wouldn't change if we got back together'. We had a good chat and he said he was glad we did.
Last night, we went out for food again. We had a fab night and he said he enjoyed himself even more than last week. On the way home he mentioned something about being a 'single lad'. I said 'so you class yourself as single' and he said that he did but he's not looking for anyone else. I asked him what he wanted from our dates and what we were actually working towards. He said getting back together would be the ultimate. Anyway, I ended up getting upset and telling him if he loved me and our family (we have a child) that it's worth fighting for. He was very nice and hugged me and I said I missed him and he said he missed me as well and he still loved me.
He went home and told me we'd have a chat on the facebook chat about it. At first I didn't talk about that but when I tried to explain a bit more about where I was coming from he clammed up. (He's just got a new computer console so he was probably playing on that, hence the delayed, short replies!)
I just don't get it. I woke up this morning feeling like I've ruined everything by trying to prolong the conversation about why I was crying. I just wish it was sorted! What should I do now? Back off a little??

[devonbrown]

Be sure to focus on what the child you two have needs as well. If one of you is not happy in a relationship, the relationship will always be filled with tension and the child will pick up on that. Don't try to force a square peg into a round hole. It might just be better for you two to be friends long-term. That way your child can see that you can get along with each other without having to sort through all the stress and strain that is obvious in your relationship.
Also, I may be old fashioned, but going from a face-to-face conversation to a Facebook chat conversation seems to be going the opposite direction from what is normally effective. In chat and text you can't pick up nuances and meanings as easily as you can through voice or facial tells. And most people don't know how to express themselves very well in words, so chatting online tends to get one person more upset because they read more into it than the other person means to say. If you want to continue to talk to the guy, suggest a phone call instead of online chat.
Plus, if he was playing with his computer console instead of giving you the attention you needed, that is a pretty big red flag right there.

[KingZ]

Come to Amsterdam. Pay a pot and smoke hookers.