Talking to a girl - Ex still in the picture -- Am i being not supportive?

[xxbobxx]

So I met this girl back in August and we have been talking. Before this, her and her ex have been on and off for like 6 years. She said they broke up like 3 years ago, but he is still in her life always trying to get her back. So me and her start hanging out, but she still hangs out with her ex sporadically, because she wants to stay friends with him. Me and her break things off because I want her to deal with her issues with her ex before me and her can really get serious, but some how, we end up hanging out again, and her ex is still in her life trying to get her back. This happens repeatedly. One night we even go to an event, and run into him. I let her go talk to her privately. He's pretty upset with her and makes her go with him to take her home. He drops her off at house -- they don't do anything. I'm pretty upset that she left with him as I couldn't find her, but I eventually get over it.

Eventually, as me and her get more serious and she stops hanging out with him. Well, he still wants to hang out with her and gets back with her. He still texts her and tries to hang out but she rejects him. This happens pretty often and every time, he doesn't take rejection so well and insults her, makiing her feel bad, saying how bad of a gf she was, etc but for some reason she takes it and is still friends with him. She says she feels bad because he's sad and just wants to see him happy and wants to see him move on. He's looking for a job and she wants to be there for support. She helps him with his resume, etc.

The other night, im hanging out with her, and he keeps texting her, telling her how he his life sux and all his problems. She feels bad, and I'm kind of upset because we're suppose to be hanging out and she's like texting the whole time trying to be supportive. I break things off with her, as I'm tired of issues with her ex getting in between us, as this has been going on since August now. Shes crying because I'm not supporting her and at the same time he's giving her a hard time.

Me and her are basically not together because of him and she doesn't want to see him hurt, else we'd be officially together right now. Anyone know what is going on in her mind? Why can't she totally get him out of the picture, and does still want to be with him ? Am I being an ass by not being supportive of her -- she did go from stopping hanging out with him to just contacting him via phone.

[MerryH]

I don't think you're being an ass. She made it obvious you're not the most important man in her life. Let her go so she can keep letting some loser ex be dependent on her and ruin her new relationships.

[Boisdevie]

She needs to decide who is more important to her - and it seems that you are not which is a shame

[hello1]

How will she and her ex ever get over each other if they keep in each other lives? it is not going to happen. You are better off

[xxbobxx]

Of course he's going to be the more important one -- he's been in her life for 6 years and me just half a yr. She just has a big heart and doesn't want to see anyone hurt. She had told me this part was going to be hard for her and to bare with her. I feel bad and feel like I'm ditching her when she needs someone.

[hello1]

Of course he's going to be the more important one -- he's been in her life for 6 years and me just half a yr. She just has a big heart and doesn't want to see anyone hurt. She had told me this part was going to be hard for her and to bare with her. I feel bad and feel like I'm ditching her when she needs someone.

Are you kidding me? you are not being selfish at all. SHE IS. She cannot expect to still be in constant contact with her ex and have a nice boyfriend at the side. No guy going to put with an ex in the picture unless they are soft. What are you?