Feeling unprotected

[Laureen]

So I have been with my fiancée for a while and we got engaged in Nov. It seems like lately when we have an argument he will do anything to be right. For instance it snows really heavy (like 2 feet) here and I have a very small car (just a small bit bigger than a smart car) he has a big huge truck. He argues with me that his truck is worse in the snow (it four wheel drive with thick tires and my tires are bald) than my car. Last night he said he would drive me to work and then today he just kept saying it so I just took my car. I feel like even if it puts my life in danger he has to be right.

[Boisdevie]

And your point is?

[gigigi4]

the point is, wanting to know why he has started doing this after they've gotten engaged and what it signifies for the relationship, from a male perspective. yes?

[BackUpOrGetStng]

It signifies that he has you and now doesn't need to work to maintain the relationship because you're stuck. I think you should give your ring back, and tell him you want to think about it for a few months. Don't get upset or emotional, just be frank and matter of fact, about wanting to think about your relationship more. He'll probably freak out and ask why, then you tell him how you've been feeling lately. He could very easily just shape up, until you get married, then go right back once you are trapped.

[Boisdevie]

Agree. The relationship doesn't sound too healthy.

[red_sparrow]

you're kidding me,

right?

this is not a relationship problem.

[thundersw]

It's a male question, it's like saying indirectly "this car is not for you, so get used to it". Men like big machines and tease each other how their car performs in the highway, horsepower, cornering and such.
If I was married I would do the same thing, the big car is for me, the other, as long as it gets you to work and daily use it's ok for you. Altough I may let you drive once in a while, but not everyday.
As a male I wouldn't find myself confortable driving a car similar to a smart, it makes me feel like a sardine in a can.
That's my point of view.

[blent]

my car is in the shape of a giant penis

[Raze]

I think you should worry about other things. This isn't a big deal at all. How exactly is he putting your life in danger? I really don't think you should be in a relationship if this is causing distress. You sound very immature.

[MrBojangles]

I think it's important to accept the fact that people are they way they are and longterm changes in behaviour is highly unlikely. Before he "got" you he was faking it alittle to look better, everyone does that. This is the reason you should usually not rush into big commitments. Anyway, this is the way is. The question you have to ask yourself is: Am I able to accept this flaw of his?

If the answer is no then you're not ready to get married or this guy is not right for you. Marriage consists of A LOT of sacrifice and accepting negative sides of your partner. So deal with that or move on is my advice.

Also, I think you're ridiculous when you imply that he doesn't care for your safety, it's definately not that.

[red_sparrow]

omg.. Mr. Bojangles!

[BackUpOrGetStng]

I don't think he truly endangered you, but I do think he was marginalizing your feelings and ignoring you which would still make me think just as hard about getting married.

[sweetkissesforu]

Men always want to be right he is not thinking of the danger to you

[VincenzoG91]

Thanks to the Big Three automakers, many American men now connect their sense of masculinity to the size of the truck that they drive. It's pathetic, but basically your fiancee perceives your attempts to borrow his truck as attempts to emasculate him.

Aside from that, there are possible concerns involving insurance coverage in the event of an accident. Also, is there some reason why he might be worried about you driving his vehicle? Like, have you had more accidents or traffic violations than him? Or maybe he is just worried that you won't drive a truck well because you are accustomed to driving a small car.

[Blum]

change tires for your own car so your life is not in danger.