seperated men??

[summersj]

ok so i have been dating a guy for the past few months, he was quite a closed book to begin with but has told me all along he is married, but seperated for 1 year and had a gf since but when the wife (who cant move on) found out she started using his kid against him. He has a 2 yr old girl with his wife and doesnt want to hurt the daughter and be possibly blackmailed by going thru a divorce. to begin with i thought it was all lies and he is married and im the 'other women' but now time is getting on he is quite open and honest and doesnt show any signs of lieing. he says that if he gets a divorce his ex wife will "brainwash" his daughter as she is young so until she is a few years older and can remember her dad and have her own opinions he doesnt want to risk loosing his little girl in a divorce. So does that sound reasonable or is he just a good lier? btw he is 33 and was wife his wife since they were 18!!

[doppelgaenger]

you should have dropped him like a rock when he said he's married with kids. how dare you continue! stop while you're ahead for the sake of the kid. unfortunately for you, he's probably been stringing you along these last few months without the intention to divorce his wife. i see this kind of thing happen all the time, and most men aren't willing to abandon their family for another woman unless they're in a troubled marriage.

[vashti]

Sometimes, people are separated, but don't divorce for financial (or other) reasons, and have agreed to allow their spouse to date. This does not sound like one of those scenarios. Let him go. Even if things were to work out between the two of you (unlikely), the child will never forgive you.

[summersj]

these responses make it sound like u think i am trying to make him leave his wife and child for me!! and knowingly no he is having an affair.. it not like that. he has told me he is seperated and has no intention of working it with his wife for over a year now and for many reasons and he has even dated since the wife and him split. i am not doing anything wrong as i am possibly in the dark about the truth. i am basically asking that do some seperated men have trouble with ex wifes blackmailing children against them etc so they are scared to get a divorce incase they loose their child?

[vashti]

these responses make it sound like u think i am trying to make him leave his wife and child for me!! and knowingly no he is having an affair.. it not like that. he has told me he is seperated and has no intention of working it with his wife for over a year now and for many reasons and he has even dated since the wife and him split. i am not doing anything wrong as i am possibly in the dark about the truth.

None of this will matter to a kid, and of course his mother will retaliate by making you look like a whore that broke up the family. YOU are only thinking in the short-term. You need to gain a sense of what it will be like in the long run.

i am basically asking that do some seperated men have trouble with ex wifes blackmailing children against them etc so they are scared to get a divorce incase they loose their child?

Men have trouble getting along with an ex? No, never. (sarcasm)

[sookie6]

These separated men who can't file for divorce! There are plenty...I've met two...usually means unresolved issues and refusal to move on. When they end up divorcing it's usually because their wife has met someone and is sorting the papers out...back away while you can..

Also I think you could be taken to court for being his mistress legally? Isnt it so?

[Boisdevie]

I got separated from my wife. Then got divorced because it was over, finished. Sounds to me like he's making excuses for not getting a divorce - i'e his wife can fill the kids mind with all sorts of shit - well she can do this whether they' re separated or divorced can't she?

[Take2]

How separated is he?

I mean, if he is living in his own place and paying support and he has a pecific date in mind to wait for based on his child's age? That might b doable, but be aware that being involved with a guy with very young children is complicated in the bast scenarios, and even more so with an "ex" who is not likely to be on excellent terms with you or him and yet will be in your life due to the kid.

But if he is living at home with the "ex" and the kid? Finances still co-mingled? Some undefined future time for the divorce? He isn't really separated and you are asking for heartache by continuing on with this dude. If he is waiting until his new life is all set to leave his last wife, he will do the same to the next wife, one day. Don't become part of that sad tale.

[smackie9]

This is too much bull shit, why do you even bother. You don't need this crap. This guy has no balls to begin with, that's why none of these relationships haven't worked out for him....he's a frickin wimp ass.