What's going on here?

[paigem]

So, I thought I was doing better. My ex and I broke up a month and 2 weeks ago in Nov. He broke up with me because I was too controlling and jealous and didn't understand him about some things, but I know he was not fair on his part for how he treated me. Anyway, for the past week or two I've been feeling much better and I thought I had moved on. But I seem to be getting reeled back in the past two days based on facebook. I know I should defriend him but I can't bring myself to and I'm worried it will send a negative message that will make him feel that I still cared so I deleted him because I grew angry by his fbook actions and what I've seen.

Basically, there's this beautiful gorgeous model girl who keeps talking to him on facebook but it seems friendly...right now...but I'm not sure. She seems to oddly be very into talking to him though which seems so strange to me. She is beyond gorgeous and don't know what she would see in my nerdy ex if she is throwing herself at him...she invited him over her place for I think a post new year's party...and I saw he "liked" one of her photos today after their facebook wall chat. I am very upset about thinking that he may be pursuing her because I am a catalog model (not nearly as tall, skinny and gorgeous as this girl he has met) and my ex always told me he hated modeling and thought it was so vain and he told me I could never model in a bikini or lingerie or he'd break up with me....Can men go back on their values if they meet a gorgeous, gorgeous girl?

I'm worried that he will go back on this and I'll be crushed that he was able to date this other girl (if it happens in the future) and he'll be ok with her modeling because I guess it was part of the relationship from the beginning and didn't become a new development like it did for us. Or perhaps she'll be able to make him feel secure about it or explain it to him in a way I couldn't explain it to him so he would be ok with it....or maybe he'll let it go because he likes her so much....

On top of all that going on, my ex went and tagged a bunch of old photos from people's albums- group photos with this girl who he was dating while he was dating me when we first met (photos taken at the time he was dating me in fact)...and I never knew he was seeing her until he confessed months into the relationship that he'd been seeing her for a whole two months before we became official...even though we saw each other almost everyday (I'd had no idea)....so naturally, I think my trust issues stemmed from there and began to feed my insecurities and my jealousy for the next four years with finding him at fault with almost every girl he/we knew...

And the other photos he tagged himself in- photos in which he and his ex are in. They might be group photos, but she is there and he is sort of holding her hand sitting with her. And I asked him to never speak to her again while we were together and he didn't. And now he is tagging himself in photos with her...knowing I can see all this too. I guess I should assume he is moving on/has moved on? Thus, he is doing things for himself I guess and not caring if I see...should I assume there's no chance with us ever again?

Some girl wrote to him after he tagged some photos and she said some of the photos aren't so great and he told her to just smile and enjoy them....so he is clearly being nostalgic about the friends he had before we started going out and it just hurts...that he is sitting enjoying photos of him and his ex and photos of him with this girl he dated while dating me. I thought if you became nostalgic after a break up, it would be about the person you JUST broke up with!....Maybe I could be looking too much into this, but nonetheless I am deeply disturbed and wounded by his actions.

And on top of all THAT, he knows that I have an album of photos of us and he has not tagged himself in Those photos...if he's going to sit there tagging himself with girls he once dated, he might as well have.......I guess it didn't cross his mind, even though he pressed "like" for one of the photos two weeks ago.

Oh and one more thing, on Christmas eve and christmas day, he texted me merry christmas with my name to personalize the message. Then on New year's eve he sent me nothing so at 7:30am (when I got home) I texted him happy new year- very simple. And he texted me back again personalizing his happy new year message with my name and only two mins after i sent mine. I wonder if he would have sent me one if i hadn't...who knows but i don't understand why he takes the time to write my name in the message...?

Anyway, I have times where I want him back...but the more things I see him doing (particularly on facebook), the LESS I want him back and the more wounded and hurt I am because I know I would hold grudges and have wounds for all these things I see him doing and it's sending me a message that I didn't mean anything and he may even be toying with me...with his christmas card to my family in which he wrote that he hopes we are all doing wonderfully and he thinks of us during this time, with his personalized texts, with his liking of two or three of my facebook statuses (just yesterday he liked my new years status) and liking about 5 of my pics at random times throughout the past month.

I feel like my heart is getting smushed on. I only have facebook to know what's going on and at the same time, I'm glad to know what's going on and what he's doing because it would be worse if I didn't and somewhere in the back of my mind I held out hope....without knowing these things. I know this is a lot of information to post but I asked a few questions above for specific things I am wondering...so if someone could please give me advice and address those questions, I would deeply appreciate it! Thanks!!

[VincenzoG91]

I didn't see any actual questions in your post. What I did see is that you need to de-friend him from Facebook, because this limited contact is only causing you false hope and more pain. If he really wanted to get back together with you, he could have called by now. Cut him out of your life. Pretend that he is dead. Move on.