No Sex, Advice?

[mwal]

So let me start with the whole story just so everyone can maybe get a feel of where this whole thing is stemming from and why it's bothering me.

I met this girl and she has a kid. Her babies dad was in another state so I figured he would be nothing to worry about. We were going out and getting a long very well it was about 7 months in and we were awesome. We had sex maybe once a week, or once every other week at very minimum. It's not a lot, I would love to have a lot more, I would be into it more than once a day but hey I can't expect that from everyone so whatever. She started to seem like she was getting distant, and she started talking to me about having an interest in girls, not like going lesbian but she just was interesting in exploring and trying it out on a strictly sexual thing not emotional connection at all. We were having a hard time getting through that because I was not into letting her do that, I was kind of sexual non confident because of the little amount we were having sex and now she wants to try something else out? So I was not really happy about it but was not telling her no or anything just expressing my concern. After a month of that she started openly talking to her babies daddy again (little did I know that it was going on for a month or two). Eventually I got tired of it and told her that sh eneeds to figure stuff out and decide what she wants and I was going to break it off and let her decide. Her babies dad ended up moving down here, and it SEEMED from the outside that she got a lot more sexually active she even went into a sex toy shot and bought lube, cock rings, and two vibrators. So from the outside it seemed like she was into it more, however nobody knows what is really going on in the inside of things. Things started to get rough with them and they ended u breaking it off a few months into it and she came back to me, after awhile seeing she really had understood how well i treated her, and I waited for her to come back patiently because I do love her; I took her back. I moved in with her the next month and the first month was awesome we had sex quite a bit, I'm thinking because it was a new thing. She always told me I pleased her a lot and she loved how I went down on her and it was crazy how I was so good at some things, and that she loved how I always made sure that she had her "O" even if I didn't because personally I woudl prefer to have the girl have fun than myself just so I can feel good about it haha.. ¯\(°_o)/¯ Anyways it started slowing down a lot sex wise. and we're at a point where I am lucky if it is once a month. Anytime we actually have sex I am the one starting it, I have to initiate it, so I feel like she doesn't actually want it and it's just a thing to get me to shutup. I've asked her about it and she says she loves me, and she woudl never do anything like she had done before with her baby daddy to me again because she realizes now how good I am to her and how much of a catch I am and all that, but she is just not that into sex. She has her very rare mooments where she will be borned and get her vibrator out for fun and when she tells me about it I get really closed off and self conscious because the vibrator literlly gets it more than I do. She says that it's just because she's stressed out a lot of the time that she doesn't want to do it that much, but other than that she is just generally not HUGELY into sex, like having it multiple times a week type thing. We have done that before so I kidn of do not believe that. She has this friend that while we were broken up she tried some girl on girl things with and she is stil friends with her, I get super nervous when she hangs out with her because I feel like she prefers her over me, even though she says she didn't like it that much, and isn't into the girl thing anymore it was just a ' i want to try it out ' type thing. And when she talks about using her vibrators or anything like that I get super paranoid and it's just not a good color on me. I just want some advice, am I being stupid, is something going on? Anything would help!

[ashley89]

it sounds like this girl has alot of drama attached with her... the whole "baby-daddy" thing and then wanting to try out experiments with other girls while she's in a relationship. if you feel you aren't having sex enough or you're worried about her doing other things, maybe you should break it off. it sounds like this is worrying you alot and becoming too big of a part of your life, and you should be able to trust your partner and know that they want you and are interested in you

[bonekkalinda]

Okay I think its rude she kind of left you to be with her baby daddy again and got bored with him and went back to you, that is so messed up, quite rude. This girl sounds like she doesn't even know what the hell she wants. She is like a lost puppy, you is carrying drama for sure, why did she want you back in the first place, I know its hard because you are in love, but she might be playing you for a fool, and might have someone else, you don't know this. I mean if two peopl are really into each other, they are going to have sex, its how it works. Check that girl.

[confused_guy_b]

Many women aren't capable of a vaginal orgasm first off and it seems you have one of those girls. Over time in a relationship you will see sex start to decline, however once a month is a little bad. Maybe she really isn't a sexual person? You would also think if shes in love or loves you that she would try to make you happy as you have her and I am not seeing this either.

I can also understand maybe she wants her child to be with it's father but she still doesn't seem to love you. You may treat her well but not all girls will go for just that. You both aren't on the same page no matter what she says. In my opinion I think you should distance yourself from her until she decides what she really wants in life because right now you don't seem to be it. You may lose this girl but I see it in your best interest to just move on. There is plenty of girls out there that will think you are a great man.

You have one life to live and you need to make the best of it. Look around and try to see things that your love has possibly manipulated. Take all that in and make your own conclusions or you will regret it down the line somewhere I know it. Don't lie to yourself or you will be in a nightmare of delusions.

Best of wishes! ~Brian~