Juz Confused

[morningmadness]

We are in relationship for abt 2 yrs 3mths.

I realised that my gf is changing her feelings towards me.
And shes been keeping it to herself for 2months.
I dont know the actual reason.

Till one day i feel awkward, shes acting differently towards me.
She isnt what she used to be.I just felt it.
She treat me as if im not her bf.

So i bring the matter up and we had some massive arguments.

She admits,, shes bored with me.
She says she needs to know more guys and need her privacy and need her own time and freedom.

But i felt unfairly treated.When we first know.. she always wanted me to keep her company.
If i dont keep her company she will say "You dont love me?

So most of my time is sacrificed for her. Even in the midnight if she wants me she forced me to come over. I give my time to her.
Even when meeting my friends i have to reject just because of her.
So my time i needed for myself was never there.
So i got used to be with her all the time.

What about the time she used to hold up my time.
I also need my own freedom.
I always rejected my friends coz of her.I always sacrifice my time for her.

Then now, past few weeks, she only look up for me only when she wanted to.Other than that she cant be bothered.
She look me up when she got nobody to accompany.
She look me up when she needs money.

I asked her why did you still stick around me since you are bored.
She says shes indebted to me since i have been helping her with her financial problem.

I was totally heart broken upon hearing that.
SHe sticks with me not because of love but feel indebted to me.
shes bored with me.
needs to know more guys and need her privacy and need her own time and freedom.

Now i am so lost,,, Scared of losing my relationship... But i have lost my own time.. and my own friends..

Is this fair? Or am i juz being blindly loving her. Maybe im a fool.

We didnt break up yet.I gave both of us another chance.

So we decided to give each other a time space of 30days.
Not to see each other or contact.
I called it 30 days of sacrificial.

Being soft hearted, i just missed her within 3 days.
I start to contact her but she cant be bothered.
Theres hatred in her reply when we talk.

Then from there i decided to keep myself away again.

(6th day of the 30 days)
Out of sudden she give me a greeting card
"I love you and miss you dearly".
And she even called me for few minutes saying "I miss you."

I thought its gonna be stable situation again.
But my gosh.. when we i tried to call .. she is still harsh towards me.
THere is still hatred in her.

I asked "Do you miss me?" She answered harshly "I dunno"
I asked "Do you love me?" She answered harshly "I dunoo"

.. i am really confused.. she loves me or not?

What im supposed to do.
To wait or not to wait.

[jiminy]

it sounds like she does still love u deep down but maybe feels scared that "this is it, this is as good as i'll get" y'know?

i've been in the same situation but in my case she wasn't gettin bored with me, she felt unloved coz i never said it to her, i think i said it once in a whole year, i never realised i wasn't saying it and i regret that ever being the case but we r ok now.
Just give her time and basically just hope she makes the rite decision.
good luck.

[jiminy]

another thought, if u do end up back together, keep her interested, be spontanious, take her out now and again etc... but don't just leave it at that, if u have to work for her affection u should expect the same in return. I'm sure u can think of things u'd like from her so i don't have to give examples.

once again..good luck

[morningmadness]

We gave both of us time to sort things out...
I didnt contact her for few days...ignored her calls and SMS.

Suddenly..
shes worried abt me.. worried i might be doing some stupid things.
So i juz gave her a call to calm her down..

She cried on the phone..
She says she love and miss me dearly.. (so sweet)...
She says she needs me..
So i juz talk to calm her down.. and to sleep.

Next day..
I thought everything would be better..
So we could make things up...

Nah... Im wrong..
Shes says.. " I have got this feelings for u.. turn "ON" and "OFF".

So there.. im confused again..

[jiminy]

still sounds like she needs time to think things through, just be patient.
If u can't be patient then sit her down and actually talk about it, tell her how she's making u feel. probably best to try and think of wot u want to say before hand. i've went into talks before and didn't think it thru, i made myself sound completely selfish. If neither of them get anywhere, i'd suggest moving on, u can't go the rest of ur life being dangled by a thread.

[Colleen]

Is this girl very young? That's the only excuse I can think of for why she would be so roller coaster. Is this really what you want indefinitely, should the two of you get back together? It doesn't sound like she is bored, sounds like she may be a drama junkie. If she is, then you will never please her. You'll always be miserable.

I understand how you feel about all the time you gave her. Reminds me of Judd Nelson's line in St. Elmo's Fire. "Wasted love!" [Throws football across the room in disgust] "I just wish I could get it all back!"

And how!

[morningmadness]

Both of us are in the early 20s...

I dont know wat to do... what i did is i kept in silence.. move on...
Sms her sweet nothing once a while..
So i wont be much disturbance to her..
Givin her more time to think..