thoughts and feelings for soon to be husbands ,,, friend?

[5 kids for us]

im not here to be judged just need to clear some thoughts and get some oppinions as to why im feeling this?

well im to be marrie to my partner of 15 yrs in the next few months... and im the one who pushed for it ,,,, wanted it ,, but without paying attention at the time to these feelings and thoughts i get of one of his friends,,, i always want to see him , make myself look good ,, and just be around him ,,

we were at a wedding and he said im so beautiful and my partner really should think himself lucky and how i could get anyone ,, also that lucky my partner is here as who knows what he could do with me,, he say it in a flirting way and things like jokng can i keep a secret and i went alng and said yep im a good secret keeper ,, and that my partner wouldnt know if i fell pregnant to him ,,, i went alng with him .... partner was watching us ,,so things didnt go to far ,,
alot of people around...

but why should i feel like this towards him ,,, i do get butterflies .. he and his brother often says to my partner when are w breaking up so they can chase me ..

im not sure if im making a huge mistake marrying ,,, theres alot at stake if i was to have an affair ,, kids, house, stability ...
ive cheated in the past along time aGO,,
anyway what am i doing .. now be honest ?????

[xxazurexx]

Why give up your future husband for a guy who is likely just looking for a roll in the hay? And not only is he after a roll, but would seem like his brother would like some of you too and if they are both asking your future husband when you are breaking up, so 'they' can chase you.

You are just flattered by the attentions of other guys. and it's the novelty of another mans attention.
If you were to leave your partner, it would all get 'same old, same old' and with another guy too.

I'd stick with what you have. Why risk everything for a man, who has no hesitations in trying to break up a couple? Sounds a right catch....NOT!!!

[vashti]

It sounds to me like this man is simply engaging in "safe" flirting if this is going on in front of your boyfriend. If it's going on in private, then he is pushing the envelope a bit because he has gotten the impression you can be had. This doesn't mean he loves you (obviously). It just means he wants to f---k you. After spending 15 years with the same old guy, this must look like an attractive option.

How old are your kids?

[Boisdevie]

If you're feeling attracted to this other guy then this tells me you're not attracted enough to your partner - so marriage is wayh out of the question until you know what/who you want

[sweetkissesforu]

Dont marry and drag someone down cuz you are selfish as cheating always is

[HeartIsAching]

Back out of your impending marriage.

I went through a similar situation starting about 20 years ago, and am now married to the woman I should've been with to begin with... but it took us 19 years to get there. Don't waste half of your life finding out.

I'm not saying back out of the marriage and run to him - just back out and then see what happens. It's obvious that marrying your partner now would be a mistake. It's possible you'll find that you do want to marry your partner anyhow... and maybe you won't. Talk to the other guy, find out what he thinks/feels. Don't spend 20 years arranging to be near him, as my wife and I did with each other.

[xxazurexx]

^But which man should she talk too? Him or his brother?

[HeartIsAching]

I got the impression that the OP had feelings for her partner's friend, and the thing with his brother was just incidental, but it made her think. I just think that if she's unsure herself, she doesn't need to get married yet. Postpone, talk, find out what she really wants first.

[5 kids for us]

ok should i talk to the other guy or my partner knowing he may leave me ,, if he knew of these thoughts...

[xxazurexx]

I'd just postpone the marriage hon and if you are having serious doubts.

I feel sorry for your hubby though...he will be devastated surely.

[HeartIsAching]

Yup, postpone or cancel the wedding, and see what happens. Don't get married until you are free of doubt.