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Thread: Am I out of line for being mad here?

  1. #1
    Join Date
    Jun 2010
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    Male
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    302

    Am I out of line for being mad here?

    I'm sorry for making so many threads about issues I should solve on my own. But I want to know if my anger is justified.
    My dad loves me but he's extremely controlling and overprotective. He wants to take all decisions for me because he feels I might mess up if I do things on my own.

    It took many fights before he let me have my own student place (afraid I couldn't handle not being at home), he didn't let me drive until I was 23 (afraid of an accident), he didn't let me have my own bank card until I was 21 (I'd lose the card anyway), he makes all the appointments I should make because I forget otherwise..

    The consequence is that I have never learned to make a decision on my own. In internships, people see me as very insecure and unable to work individually. I need confirmation in everything I do.

    I said to my dad that he has to stop taking all decisions for me and that I am leaving the house if he doesn't. He doesn't get my point and he is not planning to change. " I let you have your student place and see what happens.. You play poker until 4am and lay in bed for way to long "

    He has a point with some things but the bottom line is he never let me take my responsability in life.
    On top of that, he has cut down internet after midnight so he knows I have to go to bed at midnight. He has invaded my private space in the middle of the night because he thought I was awake. It really bothers me and even though I have called him names for it until he cried, he keeps doing it again and again.

    2 days ago he made me furious. My grandmother had passed away and we were asked to have a farewell moment in the hospital before they would turn off her assisted breathing machine. I opted not to go because I didn't want to have that is a last image of her.

    Regardless of that, he ignored my opinion again and forced me to go.
    I am almost 25 years old and I have no responsability in life. It pisses me off and I have had many fights about it but he refuses to do something about it.

    What do you do in my spot? I am planning to leave my home and my country at the end of the year so I can finally develop

  2. #2
    Join Date
    May 2010
    Gender
    Female
    Location
    Texas. Ya know.
    Posts
    488
    Tell your dad that you love him, and respect his opinion but you have to go out on your own now. And then leave. If you have to put some distance between yourself and your father, then that's just what you have to do.

    I kinda understand where you're coming from. My parents are also extremely opinionated of my choices and protective of me. I know I'm 20 years old and barely old enough to make informed choices, but telling me when I can or can't go out, who I can or can't hang out with, telling me who I can or can not date, is crossing the line.

  3. #3
    Join Date
    Sep 2010
    Gender
    Female
    Posts
    2,229
    Yes, you're out of line for being mad because this is your fault now. You're 25 and you still allow him to control everything. If you're living under his roof, you're at his mercy in many ways. Move out.

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