Need a girls opinion!! How should i carry on!!! Pls help

[elijah121]

K well I been with this girl for about a year and a half. She broke up with me in October for some immature reason. So basically during that time in October, she told me to move on which i started doing, so I stopped calling her, deleted her off facebook and then we decided to study together because we have the same course in college. After that she started calling me all the time and I was at the point in my life where i didn't care if she called me or talked to me. She clung on and i went along with it and we got reattached. We never offically got back together but it was like we were, I mean having sex, talking on the phone all the time, seeing eachother all the time. She knows how I am and i'm not the type to use a girl for anything and i won't have no fling but she said she doesn't want a relationship she not ready.

Sorry this is long but this is where it begins, So we were acting like we were together and everything was great, then new years eve came. We talked and kissed eachother and she told me she loves me and all that jazz. Then she went out clubbing with her cousin and she meets some random guy that picks her up. She always told me she would never talk to a guy from a club, she ignores guys who pick her up in general. So this was a shocker. I talked to her on Janurary 2nd, and everything went downhill, she told me to move on and she admitted that she is talking to this guy now and they like eachother. In just one night she changed so much.

Today is my birthday, she called me in the morning to wish me happy birthday and i asked her to hang out for some coffee, she said no she can't she has a date with the same guy. Why would she tell me that? Couldn't' she just be like she has plans. We spoke today and i told her that I do miss her and that I don't care anymore and I dont have any feelings when i really do, but i just want to know why the sudden change. She said it was just that she was comfortable with me hence she lost her virginity to me and that during the time from october to now there was no emotional attachment, only physical. She said i sound like i've matured alot because i am taking this so well, she thought i would hate her and call her a s*** and what not. I gave her some advice and told her to be careful and be smart and not to just open your legs for any random guy, because i know how guys are and how they think i am one. She said he isn't like that, he hasn't tried anything yet he doesnt have time to f*** around and she started telling me about him and his life, so i stopped her and i said your personal life has nothing to do with me and i rather not know. She also told me that she did love me and that was true when we were together, but it started fading away because we fought alot. and she said knock on wood thank god she never had a broken heart.? WTF...

The thing is I HAVE ALL MY CLASSES WITH HER STARTING WEDNESDAY. I CAN'T CHANGE. I love her but i understand that i have to move on it's just that i am going to see her everyday and she will talk to me. I don't want to be immature and ignore her, but i don't want to get hurt in the process. We were really really really close, and this is a sudden change. Sorry for making this so long but please some advice/help on how to handle this situation!!! Thanks!

[tom84]

ouch, that is hard. I would find it almost impossible to attend classes with her after that. There is no way you can change classes? I know in my colleges you could add and drop classes for like 2 weeks after they started. Your classes haven't even started, you may be able to switch times/classes without even missing any classes. Check into that.

If you do have to attend class with her, you have 2 options. 1, try to not let it bother you, and just try to get over her. She has proven she isn't worth your time, so try to forget about her. Don't ignore her, but don't initiate conversation either.... or 2, sit far away from her(many college classes have almost 100 students), and try to avoid contact without seeming like you are doing so. Like get to class 5minutes early and sit by other people, so she can't sit near you, etc. But don't be too obvious about it.

[elijah121]

No i can't change all blocks are filled at the moment. I am dredding going to class in the morning. It really hurts inside for someone to change so quickly, and i don't want to see her. Well deep inside i really do want to, but i know it will hold me back from moving on when she is fine and content with her life. Do you think i have a right to be angry with her becasuse of this, because i have been playing it very cool like it doesn't affect me. I have 4 months with this girl every week for 8 hours a day. I am really lost, really hurt, really scared, and very angry inside. I never shed a tear yet but maybe tomorrow might be the day, after i see her.

[tom84]

You have every right to be angry and sad and mad about this... but, don't let her know or see that. For one, if you do want to try to win her back, acting depressed and mad about what happened won't help. For two, if you are smart and don't want to get back with her ever again, then you need to be happy and move on, being depressed and mad won't help you. You need to just act like yourself, and be happy without her. If you see her, talk to her as if she is an old friend, but don't flirt or show any interest(wether you want her back or not, it is best to show no interest for a while, but still be nice around her). Act like you are doing great and are happy, even if you aren't. Be sad at home, but be happy when you are out. Being happy while you are out will invite other people into your life, and perhaps a new girlfriend a lot easier than if you are sad and mad all the time.

good luck!

[elijah121]

yea i do have every right. i guess i been playing my game right and will continue to do so. Were still young 24-23. I have a question though, Would you want to get them back if this happened to you. I mean dont get me wrong i aint perfect guy i ****ed up the relationship too from my part with fighting and being jelous, but i always found a way to work it out on my half, her half was always it's over it's over it's over. We do love eachother, but i just want to know if you would honeslty honestly think about trying to get her back, because right now I MISS HER but I DONT WANT HER BACK. I MISS HEr LIKE CRAZY!! but it hurts that she is seeing someone else.

[tom84]

Honestly, love is a hard thing. Everyone will come here and tell you not to ever get back together with her. But really, in the end, it is up to you(and her). You are the only two that really know your relationship inside and out, and us on the forum can't really know everything. I can tell you, I have some trust issues with my wife, and although I love her, and I want to be with her forever, I am often depressed because I can't stop thinking of the past.

[elijah121]

See thats the biggest thing, dwelling on the past. My ex always dwelled on my past cuz she was a virgin with me and i wasnt i slept with my previous girlfriends/flings. She always thought i would play her and she told me if i did jus wear a condom before coming back to her she doesnt want to get anything. this shit made me crazy. Love is a hard thing, but to me if my girl can suffice with some next man kissing her/ touching her (if he is) then why would i want something like that back? i know she is confused and she wants to experience new things.

[elijah121]

I would really like a girl's advice on this situation, please anyone?? Both point of views will help me out greatly, thanks tom!