virgin gf wants sex but is afraid. what to do?

[dan559]

I'm dating this girl who's a virgin. We love each other and want to make love. The thing is she's afraid it will hurt and about getting pregnant.

What can I do to alleviate these fears. Should I be more aggressive, not to the point of rape of course, with her?

[VincenzoG91]

Show her a comparison of birth control methods by failure rate and ask her to choose one. As for the pain, yeah, there might be some pain the first time, but that will be less of a factor if she is drunk. If she still throws up objections, then there is some deeper anxiety involved, and you will need to talk it through with her.

[xxazurexx]

Well she is correct about fearing it may hurt....it does, lol

As for getting pregnant...well duh, that is what contraception is for.

[Kaius]

She's not ready. Don't rush her. When she's ready you'll know. If you love her, give her time.
I know you must be horny as hell. Just give it time. It's not enjoyable when one party is afraid.

[ashley89]

it's going to hurt the first time, and usually isn't the best experience the 1st time for a girl. once she's ready, make sure you use a condom or have her go on birth control, but condoms are very effective. and try lots of lube, she is going to be very tight and using lube will help make things more comfortable. I still need to use lube! lol

[ellietwo]

As Kaius said: don't rush her.
Take your time,let her explore everything and go a little further every week.
At one point the fear will diminish, but you will need to have the guts to
give her a good time and then stop.
She has to trust you and want you.

hej, i'm speaking from experience here ;-)

[Anglo]

I am no expert but can't you just use your fingers to gradually stretch her hymen.

My experience deflowering a virgin only made my realize that there must be a way to make it a lot more fun. Yet we had spent many hours kissing and would both have really enjoyed it if I had been feeling her up at the same time.

[erikasmith1982]

first time always hurts!!!! she will need to get over that fear sooner or later

[Sarcasticshoe]

Absolutely do not push the issue!!!! you will scare her and put her off...
The first time does hurt, and for some people a lot... in fact.. some girls even bleed. You need to assure her that you are going to be very gentle with her and if she says stop YOU WILL STOP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
As far as being afraid of getting pregnant, that is a little odd because condoms are 99% effective.
Give her some time and let her know that you support her and you understand her fear..

I was once afraid too, except I had a background of sexual abuse as a young teen by an employer .... so i had a valid reason, but still.... i understand...
good luck, it will be just fine!