Completely Numb Right Now

[VincenzoG91]

That's probably good advice, but I haven't heard her side yet. I have tiny bit of hope that there is some other explanation, like maybe this guy is a stalker. More likely, he is telling the truth. If I don't hear back from her today, I assume the worst and cut all ties completely, like you suggested. Normally, I like closure, but this is not a normal situation.

[Petit Papillon]

Whata piece of trash she is.She is maybe one of the worst cases of cheaters.Jesus. It'sunbelivable what this cunt was able to do with everyone. She doesn't deserve anything, stupid ho' who was looking for a sponsor. Seriously,she made you her sponsor for ****s sake.I would be extremely angry because of this. Don't kill her but when she calls you or shows up, show her where her place is.

[misombra]

Don't let **** with your reality vin. If she's been carrying this thing out for five years she's become a master at lies and manipulation.

You told her that you talked to this person, and no response?

[Lovable]

I'm really sorry to here this Vincenzo hun!!

She deserves every bit of the bad ass karma she is going to recieve. It may not happen right now, but Karma is a mother fu**er & she's going to get the bad ass end of it.

Shit, she can't even reply back to you & talk to you?? Screw that...delete her ass from your life!! If you have anything of her's in your place, throw it the hell out, if she comes sniffing for it, she can dig it out of the trash cans. Trash goes with trash!!

[girl68]

Wow for seven years this shit went on? That is mighty impressive. Holy hell what a little whore! She must have serious issues to date 2 men for several years... Wow man.

[VincenzoG91]

Don't let **** with your reality vin. If she's been carrying this thing out for five years she's become a master at lies and manipulation.

You told her that you talked to this person, and no response?

No response. Screw it, I'm contacting my landlord right now to take her off the lease and get the locks changed.

[red_sparrow]

that's uncanny; i wonder if she had a conscience at all.
Ya, I can imagine it feels pretty surreal. I ask because I have a fascination with different mind-states. i've had strange personal experiences with disconnection from reality (particularly after drugs), and I also know friends who--suffering from anxiety disorders or the like--get into these states as well. i don't mean to sound insensitive. i have felt before that my thoughts and my feelings were somehow not my own, that life was meaningless, futile. That nothing existed. Reality was merely a projection of my own mind, and I a specter amidst its sense-properties. Sorry. I am a philosophy MA. I now understand GWF Hegel's conception of the 'Now-ness'--a reality without properties, descriptors.. a simple MOMENT. living and yet NOT living. there and yet NOT there.

take her off the lease. do not allow this woman to continue living with you. i can imagine this is hard for you because you really didn't know what was going on. some people get hints along the way. this must have hit you like a ton of bricks (or will, once the numbness goes away).

[VincenzoG91]

Red Sparrow, I recently told another poster here that his wife seemed to be a sociopath: charming and fun, but unfaithful, remorseless, selfish, unbound by any conventional morality. I think Amy might be a sociopath as well. Her father died when she was 5, and her stepdad raped her when she was a teenager. Since then, she has probably developed a monstrous sense of entitlement, that everybody let her down so everybody owes her. I'm guessing.

[sookie6]

When all this finally sinks in you'll feel very sad and depressed...you need to stay with family and friends rather than staying at the place you were sharing with her.

Also not a priority now but think about the Closure aspect of it all...you will need at some point to confront her in order to move on...

Vincenzo what a shame we can't do more for you!

Stay strong.

[VincenzoG91]

Sookie, normally I am a very direct person, and if there is a problem, I confront it right away. But if the last five years of our relationship have all been based on a monstrous lie, I don't think that even confronting her would give me any satisfaction. I would have trouble believing anything that she says.

[sookie6]

Sookie, normally I am a very direct person, and if there is a problem, I confront it right away. But if the last five years of our relationship have all been based on a monstrous lie, I don't think that even confronting her would give me any satisfaction. I would have trouble believing anything that she says.

it's not about gaining satisfaction but more about healing and ending the relationship on your terms..based on personal experience you might need this to be able to move on.

But everyone is different so do what you feel is right...again I'm sending you a big hug..I think we're all very affected by what you're going through. xxx

[SelflessnHumble]

This post of yours...Coming from someone who has been giving gold advice 100% of the time like wow, man WTF?

Is she that hot??? K, seriously I'm sorry to hear about this Vince...I hate that feeling when your stomach takes that huge dip as if it were the highest roller coaster
diving at free fall speed. There were signs my friend, always signs. It's hard to view them objectively when your emotions are compromised and you
feel as though it could never happen to you but here we are...

The problem with liars (and cheats) is that they have that ability to create truths out of half truths filled with gaps/holes and omissions and lies just to hide their true nature.
Cheats are inherently liars to begin with: and it tells me that they aren't able to actually face their flaws and do what was/is right.

All the other signs aside: when someone refuses for you to meet their entire group of close friends and/or family members: it's a tell you're a side dish, or just a convenient lay
or a sugar daddy. I've played the fool probably more so than the next guy because I always look past people's flaws and focus on their strengths...

I don't understand how a person could be able to lead a double life-she doesn't live with you?
I've become crafty due to being betrayed a million times...

Next time (while he is there)
Have him dial Amy's number and tell him to talk sweet to her. (babe, sweetie, you felt so great last night) crap like that.
Her reply will tell you ALL you need to hear from that phone call as to whether or not he is telling the truth, lying or half lying.

I hope you work it out man and I'm always here if you need an ear, advice or suggestions as to what to do, but I think you know the drill.
A humble meet (be unpredictable) surprise her somewhere you know her to be at...and smile, be confident even if you're falling apart in the inside.
And ask her...But next time don't text her "Craig told me some interesting things..." Why?

Well, you've just given her yet another easy cop out reason to lie to you about IF this affair is true.
If you never told her, you could have asked face to face to see her genuine response...

[xxazurexx]

Also not a priority now but think about the Closure aspect of it all...you will need at some point to confront her in order to move on...

Nah, not always the case Sookie. They aren't worth confronting. Knowing what they did, helps put a closure on it all. Did for me anyway and I moved on no problem.

[hello1]

Wow its sad you wasted five years with this person. This would be like my worst nightmare, being with a person who led a double life and she has done it successfully for many years.

By what you said VincenzoG91 sounds like she does have deep emotional problems. At least I guess you found out now, it could been worse. I am guessing you do not have kids or married so you got away there.

[sookie6]

. I am guessing you do not have kids or married so you got away there.

Very true.