confused and wondering how to find out the issue

[Zanderini]

so this weekend i went to my ball with my fraternity and brought a girl i really liked but didnt know well. so basically the first day was fine we drank she was all over me etc... the next day was fine until the formal and then it just got really awkward and she seemed to be untalkative and slightly avoiding me. I asked her about it that night and she really had no response and we went to bed. This was basically the same way for the rest of the trip and she wouldnt drink,dance,etc... with me but would with other people... the car ride home was fine and not bad or very awkward.

-what is the best way to go about finding out if i did something wrong or what the issue was?

[Zanderini]

nobody? bump

[girl68]

to me it simply sounds like she just isn't all that interested in you.

as for the flirting and going to bed with you, she's horny she wanted to get laid- she got laid that doesn't mean she really likes you.

[SelflessnHumble]

It doesn't make sense unless you forgot to mention something.

Sounds like she tried on a shoe...it didn't fit so she moved on trying on other shoes.

The best way is to confront her face to face, and be calm about it.
Women don't open up over a guy strong-arming her as if she were a terrorist.
People that like you (but don't know you) don't owe you, much less an explanation even though you feel it would be nice to know.

That's why you don't take strangers out to places like this.

[Zanderini]

to me it simply sounds like she just isn't all that interested in you.

as for the flirting and going to bed with you, she's horny she wanted to get laid- she got laid that doesn't mean she really likes you.

well she didnt get laid and i am leaning towards what you said. only thing im leaving out is she did get really sick drunk around a bunch of people she didnt know and was highly embarassed to me about it. other thing is i was not feeling well at all and wasnt super outgoing or in a great mood

[girl68]

If you were pissy then that's what you did piss on her parade. No worder she didn't want to dance or drink with a downer.

[Zanderini]

If you were pissy then that's what you did piss on her parade. No worder she didn't want to dance or drink with a downer.

well i was sick the whole so i wasnt very active and upbeat. i apologized for this to her. any ideas for finding if this is the main issue or not? or any ways to rectify the situation since i really like her?

[Zanderini]

nobody else?

[ashley89]

the only other way to find out is to ask her! the worst that can happen is she doesn't like you and you move on. otherwise it's just a guessing game

[Zanderini]

the only other way to find out is to ask her! the worst that can happen is she doesn't like you and you move on. otherwise it's just a guessing game

well ya. whats the best way to ask her without being abrasive and coming off as rude? should it be done in person or what?

[MerryH]

Why don't you ask her out on a date again? If she says no, or avoids giving you an answer, then she's not into it. Forget her.

I think it would be a bit inappropriate to ask her why, or what happened. First, as mentioned before, she doesn't owe you an explanation. Second, I can say with some certainty that you're not going to get an honest answer. I mean, it really takes a blunt, candid person who doesn't care about hurting others to actually tell you to your face the honest reason. "You're too ugly, you're not fun/funny, you're annoying, you're too clingy, you're embarrassing to be seen with, etc." Would you really want to hear this from her? Lastly, it's just kind of a lame thing to do, especially with someone who you only had one (long) date with.

You're just going to have to figure out for yourself what might have happened.

[Zanderini]

Why don't you ask her out on a date again? If she says no, or avoids giving you an answer, then she's not into it. Forget her.

I think it would be a bit inappropriate to ask her why, or what happened. First, as mentioned before, she doesn't owe you an explanation. Second, I can say with some certainty that you're not going to get an honest answer. I mean, it really takes a blunt, candid person who doesn't care about hurting others to actually tell you to your face the honest reason. "You're too ugly, you're not fun/funny, you're annoying, you're too clingy, you're embarrassing to be seen with, etc." Would you really want to hear this from her? Lastly, it's just kind of a lame thing to do, especially with someone who you only had one (long) date with.

You're just going to have to figure out for yourself what might have happened.

thanks for the response. I will ask her out again. But in all honesty id rather have someone tell me the truth i wouldnt really be offended because its not like a long term deal and i could just let it go

[MerryH]

thanks for the response. I will ask her out again. But in all honesty id rather have someone tell me the truth i wouldnt really be offended because its not like a long term deal and i could just let it go

Yeah, that would be really nice, but unfortunately, that's not how it works most of the time.

Let me ask you this. If she told you the reason that she wasn't really having a good time with you was because you were sort of quiet and in a bad mood, what would you say to that?

[Zanderini]

Yeah, that would be really nice, but unfortunately, that's not how it works most of the time.

Let me ask you this. If she told you the reason that she wasn't really having a good time with you was because you were sort of quiet and in a bad mood, what would you say to that?

i would explain why. i was sick and since i came back i was put on 2 inhaler and antibiotics which to me is an extremely valid reason that i was acting the way i was

[Zanderini]

in terms of asking her out again how soon should i do it? monday was the last i saw her