confused and wondering how to find out the issue

[Zanderini]

any other suggestions?

[SelflessnHumble]

i would explain why. i was sick and since i came back i was put on 2 inhaler and antibiotics which to me is an extremely valid reason that i was acting the way i was

No, it isn't a valid reason...Not to a girl you don't know, and didn't even have the common decency to tell her you weren't well.
People are able to make the most of any situation despite their ailments. If not: they politely tell them they will go out another time.

[Zanderini]

No, it isn't a valid reason...Not to a girl you don't know, and didn't even have the common decency to tell her you weren't well.
People are able to make the most of any situation despite their ailments. If not: they politely tell them they will go out another time.

i did tell her that and there was no option were at a place for a weekend. i apologized for it while speaking over fb and she didnt respond

[MerryH]

i would explain why. i was sick and since i came back i was put on 2 inhaler and antibiotics which to me is an extremely valid reason that i was acting the way i was

Ok, I had a feeling you might say something like that. If you MUST ask her what went wrong (you really shouldn't) don't argue with whatever reason she gives you. You're already putting her in an awkward position by requiring a reason. Don't make it worse by giving excuses or trying to change her mind. But seriously, if she blows you off, just take the rejection with some dignity and walk away.

See if she wants to do something this weekend. But don't phrase it like that. Ask about a specific day and time.

[Zanderini]

Ok, I had a feeling you might say something like that. If you MUST ask her what went wrong (you really shouldn't) don't argue with whatever reason she gives you. You're already putting her in an awkward position by requiring a reason. Don't make it worse by giving excuses or trying to change her mind. But seriously, if she blows you off, just take the rejection with some dignity and walk away.

See if she wants to do something this weekend. But don't phrase it like that. Ask about a specific day and time.

im not actually planning on doing that. i already did what you said and it screwed me up and is the reason im in this position to begin with. and honestly i came off poorly to her and gave her a sickness. i tried to apologize when we were on fb chat and she didnt respond? move on or try calling and actually talking with her?

[girl68]

SHE AINT INTERESTED. Take a clue jesus. Get over it, one freggin' date! You are honestly coming off as the crazy creep who just can't get it through your skull... no response after several attempts you'd THINK the dude would get a clue... but you? Nope, no clue... push push push pester pester pester.

[Zanderini]

SHE AINT INTERESTED. Take a clue jesus. Get over it, one freggin' date! You are honestly coming off as the crazy creep who just can't get it through your skull... no response after several attempts you'd THINK the dude would get a clue... but you? Nope, no clue... push push push pester pester pester.

if you read it wasnt one date and i dont continually push and pester her.and it hasnt been several attempts. it was one attempt. and i have a clue and had a clue before i even posted this that she probably wasnt interested hence why i have no been bothering her and only spoke to her for a necesary reason

[SelflessnHumble]

if you read it wasnt one date and i dont continually push and pester her.and it hasnt been several attempts. it was one attempt. and i have a clue and had a clue before i even posted this that she probably wasnt interested hence why i have no been bothering her and only spoke to her for a necesary reason

girl68 is right on the money.
You've got issues with letting go someone who never truly knew you nor liked you.

(1) You go to a ball with your frat brothers...and bring a girl "YOU DON'T KNOW THAT WELL"
(2) Your story telling skills suck because a ball usually doesn't last more than one night, so let's retell the story...

(1) You want to take a girl to a ball you and your frat brother will be attending...So...
(2) You two meet up (the night before) you drank and she was all over you...
(3) At the formal things were awkward...WHY were they awkward???

Oh, that's right: "I wasn't feeling too well, and wasn't outgoing and not in a good mood..." K.
(she is supposed to be all over you: a grumpy snoozefest???) This isn't attractive at all. HUGE turn off...

What relevancy is the fact she got drunk around people she didn't know?
I mean how could she be embarrassed about it?
Any other guy would have just grabbed her hand, and told her, "hey, are you all right? You seem pretty hammered drunk..."
When you address it, she can fee more comfortable talking about it, but alas...you were grumped out of your mind, so why should she?

How is it possible to drink, dance with other people during a trip? (this is what you said and makes zero sense)
If you mean she did those things with other people "she didn't know" another night, this means she wanted to have fun, and it wasn't with you.
THIS means she wasn't at all interested with you...Women can kiss a guy they don't even care about because it's "in the moment."

You asked a question: you've been given the answer...
In a nice calm voice, sit down with her (too late now lol) and say, "Hey, When we first met up and hung out I really enjoyed the time we spent.."
"We were kissing, laughing and had a great time." Then say, "why did the vibe change from one night to the next?"

Then be patient and wait for her answer, let her finish, don't whine.
Then tell her, "I wasn't my self as I was previously...I didn't think to mention I was feelings sick because I didn't want
to ruin your good time at the ball..." Then, "I'm truly sorry for that.." and then follow up with, "I'd like to take you out for coffee" or
something she likes...If yes, cool...If not, don't whine, ask more questions, just politely say, "ok, well, I've gotta go, take care" and leave.

The thing is you should have explained this THERE.
It's too late now, hence she's ignoring you because she thinks you are a putz!
Listen to girl68, she's a girl! You messed up, try again with someone else and don't fiddle with your thumbs wondering what to say!

[girl68]

^ Priceless.

[Zanderini]

girl68 is right on the money.
You've got issues with letting go someone who never truly knew you nor liked you.

(1) You go to a ball with your frat brothers...and bring a girl "YOU DON'T KNOW THAT WELL"
(2) Your story telling skills suck because a ball usually doesn't last more than one night, so let's retell the story...

(1) You want to take a girl to a ball you and your frat brother will be attending...So...
(2) You two meet up (the night before) you drank and she was all over you...
(3) At the formal things were awkward...WHY were they awkward???

Oh, that's right: "I wasn't feeling too well, and wasn't outgoing and not in a good mood..." K.
(she is supposed to be all over you: a grumpy snoozefest???) This isn't attractive at all. HUGE turn off...

What relevancy is the fact she got drunk around people she didn't know?
I mean how could she be embarrassed about it?
Any other guy would have just grabbed her hand, and told her, "hey, are you all right? You seem pretty hammered drunk..."
When you address it, she can fee more comfortable talking about it, but alas...you were grumped out of your mind, so why should she?

How is it possible to drink, dance with other people during a trip? (this is what you said and makes zero sense)
If you mean she did those things with other people "she didn't know" another night, this means she wanted to have fun, and it wasn't with you.
THIS means she wasn't at all interested with you...Women can kiss a guy they don't even care about because it's "in the moment."

You asked a question: you've been given the answer...
In a nice calm voice, sit down with her (too late now lol) and say, "Hey, When we first met up and hung out I really enjoyed the time we spent.."
"We were kissing, laughing and had a great time." Then say, "why did the vibe change from one night to the next?"

Then be patient and wait for her answer, let her finish, don't whine.
Then tell her, "I wasn't my self as I was previously...I didn't think to mention I was feelings sick because I didn't want
to ruin your good time at the ball..." Then, "I'm truly sorry for that.." and then follow up with, "I'd like to take you out for coffee" or
something she likes...If yes, cool...If not, don't whine, ask more questions, just politely say, "ok, well, I've gotta go, take care" and leave.

The thing is you should have explained this THERE.
It's too late now, hence she's ignoring you because she thinks you are a putz!
Listen to girl68, she's a girl! You messed up, try again with someone else and don't fiddle with your thumbs wondering what to say!

ok to clear this up...the event was 3 nights and 4 days. I hung out with her twice before this. and to mention her being drunk it was puking a bunch and basically blacking out and making an embarasment of her and me

[girl68]

please man, give up. for real. Give up.

[Zanderini]

please man, give up. for real. Give up.

i have i havent even talked to her since and have done nothing nor do i plan on it. im not an idiot as you seem to think and have not and do not plan on doing something to humilate myself or worsen my position

[girl68]

Ok good... NEXT!